


Dark Side Lies

by SouthernSass



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love/Hate, Reylo - Freeform, Soul-Searching, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-02-16 10:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 72,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13052124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthernSass/pseuds/SouthernSass
Summary: *spoiler warnings* With Rey by his side, Kylo knows he will be unstoppable, and he does all he can to convince her to stay with him. But after she flees, taking the last vestiges of the Resistance with her, Kylo must adjust his tactics quickly. Rey, unable to escape their bond, has but one choice: turn Ben Solo back to the Light. But he will resist her every step of the way. The Force is not finished with either of them yet. Novel-length. I'm in it for the LONG haul.





	1. An Impasse

Snoke’s arrogance led to his downfall, just as Rey had forseen. She just didn’t know how it would happen, or expect it to come with such immediacy. Kylo felt her surprise through their link, her momentary horror, and he might have been amused by her innocence had not circumstances compelled them to immediately engage in a battle with the Praetorian Guard, all of which were Force-Sensitive enough to make them a threat, had Kylo taken them on alone. Even with Rey’s help, it was a near thing.

But the beauty of their battle, the way they could reach across their link to fight in perfect sync, left him in awe. How could she fight by his side, their movements a perfect dance of death and precision, trusting her life to his and watching his back, and not feel what he did?

Snoke lied about their bond. Kylo knew that the moment the old mynock said the words, trying to cheapen what the Force had done in bringing them together. In regards to Rey, only one thing the now dead Supreme Leader got right. As Kylo’s powers mounted, growing in the Darkness, the Force made its own balance through Rey.

Light rose up to meet Dark, and Rey, untrained, untried, still a novice in the ways of the Force, was in every way his equal and opposite.

If only she understood things the way he did.

The instant Snoke died and their bond remained, she must have known the monster lied. The only reason he would have done such a thing, and attempt to kill Rey rather than train her himself, would be if he feared her, or what she could become. If the history of the Sith taught Kylo anything, it was that the Dark Side masters were always looking to trade up in apprentices.

But Rey did not understand their connection.

And perhaps it had not been wise to attempt manipulation of her feelings, of her loneliness, to turn her to the Dark side. His path diverged from Snoke long ago due to the old Sith's obsession with constantly whipping Keylo's emotions into a frenzy.

In the end, the Force favored her and what remained of the Resistance. Like vermin, they scampered away, living to fight another day, slipping through his fingers.

Kylo stood in the remnants of the old Rebel base as his men swept the area, following protocol, making sure nothing of value had been left behind.

“A waste of time,” Kylo muttered out loud, looking at the hand where his father’s dice had been, clenching it into a fist.

Hux came closer. “What was that, my lord?”

The sycophant coward had come close to death many times over the years, but Kylo recognized his usefulness as the Supreme Leader had. Despite his inability to squash the Resistance in a massive military maneuver, Hux could think outside of the academics of his military studies. He knew how to get results from people under his command. He could be valuable, at times.

And Kylo knew indiscriminately killing his military commanders would not serve him well in the long run.

“They are gone,” he stated firmly, opening his hand. “We must return to our ships and put our effort into our spy network. They will go underground, to regroup.”

Hux looked around at the Stormtroopers, digging through technology too old to be of any use. “Very well, my lord. At once.” He turned and began issuing orders to his officers, and Kylo’s will trickled down through the chain of command.

Kylo turned and left the bunker, fixing his expression in such a way as to ward off any who would dare speak to him. He made straight for his command ship, not even glancing at the crater where Luke Skywalker’s false image had baited him, tricked him, and ultimately defeated him. Watching the old Jedi laugh at him brought back all the pain and humiliation of the past, even the fear from the night he knew his uncle tried to kill him. Luke Skywalker, a legend in truth, held more power than Kylo had anticipated.

Snoke could use the Force to choke someone from a system away, but only if he had a visual of his target. He could never have forged that bond between Rey and Kylo. Luke, using all his power, had projected an image of himself that looked and felt real. Even still, Kylo could not make contact with that image and once he knew Luke to be a vision, it was over. He no longer felt his uncle’s presence.

But Rey. He felt her. He felt the environment she was in. He touched her and felt her skin's warm against his.

No one was powerful enough to create a bond such as that, with two mortal humans, and Kylo Ren knew it.

But the Force itself, a mystical thing, a presence binding him and every life in the galaxy together, created a link between the last member of the most powerful Jedi dynasty and a scavenger girl.

Which meant the two of them would come together again and again until they fulfilled their destiny. The Force willed it so.

The primary users of the Dark Side of the Force were unimaginative brutes. They always tried the same tactics, and those tactics failed spectacularly. Train in secret, lust for power, revenge, live in hatred. Then slip out of the shadows to confront the enemy at last. Rule underlings with a whip in one hand and promises too grand to ever fulfill in the other.

Even at their best, the Sith never ruled for long. The Old Republic’s rein over the galaxy lasted many times longer than Sidious’s Empire. Because there was one lesson the Sith never learned.

Snoke failed to understand what Ben Solo’s mother taught him, many years ago, when he was just a boy. She poured a cup of sand in his palm and told Ben to close his hand without losing a single grain. As the young boy’s fingers began to obey, sand slipped out with each movement. Panicked, he closed his fist faster, as tightly as he could, but then there was no room for all the grains and more fell from between his fingers.

“This is what the Empire never understood,” Leia told him, wiping the sand off the table and back into her hand. “The tighter the grip, the more people try to escape it. Just like the sand.” She held her palm out, flat. “Pour it onto my hand.”

He gave her the sand remaining in his grasp and just watched, and waited, while she held it silently in her palm, fingers still. “But give the sand a stable environment, and it remains.”

Her political acumen astounded everyone who knew Leia Organa Solo. Kylo heard story after story about her youth surprising people, her wisdom astounding them. But Leia came by it naturally, even before she knew the whole truth of her parentage. As a child of the most loved Queen of Naboo and the Chosen One from the Jedi prophecies of old, she was a force of her own. Even her power, with its limitations in the political arena, frightened the New Republic's senate enough that they pushed her out.

With the lesson of the sand, Kylo learned the secret of ruling an empire. Present a stable environment. Deal with your enemies, lest they upset the balance of your hand, but give peace and you will rule forever.

Wiping out the Resistance, or attempting to do so, proved a mistake of enormous proportions. Kylo knew he ought to have taken a step back from Snoke’s plans, but Rey’s rejection stung and an entire military fleet looked to him to avenge their leader.

Now he had only given the Resistance the very things they needed to rally people to their cause. They had a legend in the return of Luke Skywalker, a martyr in whatever fool flew that craft into Snoke’s ship at light speed, and a new hero in Rey the Girl from Nowhere. And they still had Leia, General Organa, at the helm. With Leia's leadership, Luke's mystical draw, and Rey's triumph over the new Supreme Leader, they would draw resistance fighters like insects to honey.

Kylo wanted nothing more than to shove his lightsaber deep into the walls of the ship, or beat every First Order lacky within his sight into oblivion, but he maintained in control. For the first time in his life, Kylo answered to no one, he had supreme power, and he must maintain composure. Despite all of this, he felt the empty chasm within grow larger, and darker. Colder.

“You're still lonely,” a quiet voice whispered into his mind.

He froze, standing in the middle of the corridor, and looked around for Rey. Her mind spoke to him as clearly as if she stood beside him, saying the words aloud. “Where are you?” he asked, eyes not seeing her.

“On your father’s ship,” she answered. “But I don’t feel like seeing you just now.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes and quickly withdrew into a small office, sealing the door shut behind him. “You are concealing yourself from me? How?”

This connection still felt strange and each time they communicated he learned something, about her, about the bond. They could share physical sensations through this bridge, but how? They could see each other more clearly than a hologram's image had ever been.

“Always curious,” she responded, her voice soft. “Even in the middle of all this, you want to figure out whatever freak thing this is, between us. People have died, Ben. On both sides, we have lost a lot of lives.”

Kylo sighed and ran his gloved hands through his hair, frustrated. “That happens in war.”

“You could stop it. All of it. You’re the Supreme Leader now. I can see it, in your head. No one has questioned your rule.”

He closed his eyes and reached out to her, through the Force. “Do you know what I see in your head?”

“Tell me.”

“Hope. A misguided, senseless hope that the Resistance made it out. Look around you, Rey. Who, exactly, is left? Not an army.”

Her voice came through softer, as though she moved away from him. “It does not take an army, Ben. It only takes one man.”

“I am Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order,” he shouted at her, his voice echoing off the walls of the room in which he stood. “Ben Solo is dead.”

“Like the past?” she asked. “The past you try so hard to outrun, but it keeps finding you, doesn’t it? We are who we are, Ben. Changing your name doesn’t change who you are. Knowing the truth of my parents' doesn't change who I am, either. I have to go now, Ben. I have other things to do.”

And she disappeared, her presence withdrawing the way it would if she stepped out the door. He was aware of her going, of their connection closing, and then she was gone.

Kylo Ren screamed in frustration and opened his eyes, grabbing the first thing in sight and physically hurling it into the wall. How dare she walk out on him? Again? He held the most powerful position in the galaxy, won at her side, in battle. How could she not understand what that meant? She ought to be here, with him, establishing a new order. Instead she ran away, closing the door of that damn ship on him, just like his father had on too many occasions to count. Rey should've been different. Rey should've stayed, should've understood the bond they shared was unique and powerful, instead of casting it and him aside to run off with Rebel scum.

She abandoned him, like everyone else. Used him to get what she needed, and vanishing.

Chairs and tables were quickly flung across the room, smashing into each other, into control panels, and for several moments the only thing in Kylo Ren’s mind was destruction.

Rage.

But then Rey stood in front of him, arms crossed, and glaring.


	2. Not The Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has her say.

Rey knew that if she did nothing, her bond with Ben could become very distracting and dangerous to her. Pushing him from her mind had been easy when she trained with Luke. But when she went to him, surrendering to him, the link became stronger. She had sensed everything Snoke claimed to feel, that Ben would ignite his lightsaber and kill his enemy. She felt each action Snoke revealed to be true, without his arrogant narration.

But at the last moment, before the saber ignited, slicing the Supreme Leader in half, she knew something Snoke did not.

Ben did not consider her the enemy. Nor would he, ever.

In their battle against the red-suited guards, they opened up to each other’s minds completely, all shields down, all differences forgotten. And now, like a jammed blast-door, they could not fully close that connection again.

Ben Solo’s emotions were leaking all through the seams of that door, dripping into her consciousness. Which is why she locked herself into the cramped quarters of a smuggling compartment on a ship full of people, when she really should be co-piloting the Millenium Falcon. She imagined that Poe Dameron had the situation well in hand, if Leia had not assigned someone else to assist Chewie.

She ought to be with these people, mourning with them, bandaging wounds, planning the next move.

Instead, she was overwhelmed with the despair and anger of the man who caused them to flee into the darkness of space. It tinged her own emotions enough that she could not focus on the people around her and their needs.

“Ben,” she said firmly, looking up at him through their bond, as if there was room in this closet for someone of his size. “You really must work on controlling yourself. You are wrecking your ship and bleeding rage all across our link.”

He stared at her, his expression frozen in his anger, his lips curled back in disgust. “You left.”

“I shut the door,” she answered with a shrug. “I was done talking. But you’re positively battering against it with your attitude.”

“Your levity is unappreciated,” he said coolly, arranging his features back into that calm, impassive expression he wore like a mask. He studied her carefully. “Why should I care if I disturb you? You are the enemy.”

Despite everything, Rey felt a bubble of humor form in her belly and it erupted in a short, clipped laugh. “We both know that's not true. You are angry at me for choosing another path, but I am not your enemy.”

“Your path will lead back to me,” he announced suddenly, stepping closer to her, looking down his nose into her eyes. The man made her feel like a child when he stood that close. Though shorter than a Wookie, his presence was much more intimidating. “Every time you pull away, you will be drawn close again. We are linked, in more ways than one.”

“Are you my destiny, then?” she asked, trying to keep her tone breezy and bouncing on the balls of her feet, ignoring the warmth radiating from him. It should not be possible, when he could not be physically present. How did this thing work, between them? “That sounds like something from a holo-drama.”

He blinked down at her, his shoulders slumped. Through their bond, she felt his anger turn to confusion and disgust. “You make light of this? Treat it like a joke?”

Rey relaxed, more able to push away these emotions than the rage previously pounding through to her. “You take yourself too seriously, Ben. If you don’t mind, I need to go. We have a lot of wounded and your mother isn’t doing so well. She apparently took a flight through space, without a ship, and it’s left her weak. I can only imagine what she must be feeling. She’s lost her husband and brother, within but a few days of each other. The physical toll combined with all that can’t be good for her.” Rey stared up at him a moment more, her eyes searching his. “You didn’t know about Luke?”

He hadn’t, but he wasn’t surprised, not even blinking at the news. “To project himself like that, across the stars, must’ve taken all the strength the old man had left,” he muttered, turning away. But the elation she might have expected did not come. Instead, Ben Solo’s emotions went still.

That might be the best she could do for now. Rey withdrew again, shutting the mental door behind her, and sighed when nothing came through it.

She stepped out of the cramped smuggling hold and directly into Leia.

“There you are,” the General said softly, looking at Rey with eyes very like her son’s. “Chewie is asking for you. He claims he doesn’t trust anyone but you or me in the cockpit. And my flying days are over.”

Rey forced a smile, wondering how much Leia knew about what she’d been up to. “That’s not what I hear, General Organa.”

“Call me Leia, please.” The woman looped her arm through Rey’s and used the cane in her other hand to walk down the corridor. The first time Rey met her, she'd been surprised by the woman's petite size. But even then, Leia had been full of energy and zest, which helped everyone around her forget just how delicately she was built. But now, after all the pain of battle and loss, Leia felt as breakable as a fine piece of pottery, and as chipped. It would not take much to undo this woman. “We owe you a great deal, Rey, and it is a debt that cannot ever be paid. I can only hope you have found answers in all of this mess. Did you find what you sought, when you met Luke?”

“I think so.” Rey bit her lip and released a long sigh. “He taught me, a little. But I don’t think he wants me to be a Jedi, the way he was a Jedi.”

Leia shook her head, her smile full of more sadness than Rey had ever seen in such an expression. “No. Luke wants us to move on. Did he give you the tools to do that?”

She did not even need to think before nodding. “He showed me the Force. He taught me how to see it and feel it around me. I think I can move forward from there.” The books stashed away in the Falcon might help a little too. But Rey didn't feel guilty for taking them. With Luke gone now, in a permanent way, she would need all the help she could get to become a Jedi, to find her place at last.

“What about the lightsaber?”

Rey stopped before the door to the cockpit, where they could both hear the sounds of a very frustrated Wookie. “I don’t know. With everything that’s happening, I suppose I will have to figure that out later.” Rey hadn't told Leia much of what went on when she confronted Ben Solo. She did not think she could speak of it, not in a way anyone would understand, and she dreaded the questions she would eventually have to face when they stopped running for their lives. No one aboard her ship even knew Snoke was dead and his apprentice had ascended to the throne. How could she tell Leia that?

Leia regarded her in silence, her eyes seeing far more than Rey liked. But she allowed Rey more time, perhaps sensing that the scavenger still needed time to process all she'd been through. “You had better see to Chewie.”

Rey could only manage half a smile. She felt exhausted and used-up, completely spent emotionally and physically, but she had to hold it together a while longer. She had to help Chewie pilot them to safety. Then, if she could find a quiet corner somewhere, she might finally get some sleep before the questions started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters and off to a humdinger of a start, right?


	3. Death and Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo summons the Knights of Ren to hunt Rey down but knows his control over them, and the First Order, remains precarious. Compassion drives Rey to him and she shares an ancient legend with him, about Life and Death. The shape of their destiny begins to form.

The more power one held, the smaller the world around them became. On some primitive planets, the pyramid structure could still be found in the center of ancient holy sights. Kylo had seen many structures made of stone, brick, mud, and even precious metals. The structure was architecturally sound, but also represented power and a connection to the heavens, in most cultures. The higher up the pyramid, the closer one came to deity or power.

Kylo now resided at the top of the First Order’s pyramid. Hux a step below him, and the rest of the galaxy below that.

Rey, the aggravating, blind, naive little thing, had been correct when she told Kylo he felt alone. As much as he wanted to deny her words, Kylo’s awareness that he could seek neither counsel nor comfort from any other being in the galaxy plagued him. But he could have brothers in arms, perhaps.

“Recall the Knights of Ren,” he barked, striding  on to the bridge where Hux oversaw the gathering of what remained in their fleet.

Hux jumped, but not very high. Perhaps his fear of Kyloe began to fade. Kylo repressed a sigh. A frightened Hux might be easier to manipulate, but he needed a General who thought and acted clearly. So long as the man never again questioned Kylo’s authority, he could deal with the General's attitude. Rabid cur or not.

“At once, Supreme Leader,” Hux said, half bowing. “Do you have their coordinates?”

Kylo hesitated, realizing he did not know where more than one or two of the Knights were located. Snoke had kept their missions secret, even from each other, and dispensed them to different points in the galaxy to search out Luke Skywalker and other high profile targets. But they would learn of Snoke’s demise. Some may try to hide, others may come looking for a fight.

But he had to get them back, as quickly as possible. What would be the quickest method?

The idea emerged only half formed, but Kylo went with it. It could work. “Send out a message through every channel you can access. The Supreme Leader, Snoke, is dead. Killed by the Rebel Rey of Jakku, a humanoid female. As enemy to the First Order, this Rebel must be brought to justice. Broadcast her image. The Supreme Leader Kylo, Master of the Knights of Ren, recalls the Knights to the heart of the First Order, where a search will commence. Anyone found harboring this Rebel will die. Anyone with information leading to her capture will be rewarded.” He paused and thought for a moment. “Put a price on her head so large that she cannot even trust her precious rebels. Offer full pardon to anyone who turns her in.”

Hux nodded. “And the other Resistance leaders?”

“Smaller rewards, but a similar idea. Put that one through our bounty hunters’ network.” He brushed that aside. “They are a small group, with few people to trust, and nowhere to hide. Someone will see them and betray them to us.” If they did not withdraw too deeply into the shadows. Rebels had a way of slipping away, licking their wounds, until they had a new plan of attack or friends to assist them. “Send a separate message through our spy network. Tell them to look for any sign of sympathy for the Resistance in systems with military power or money.”

“At once, my lord.” Hux called a subordinate who had been hanging on every word and gave them the commands and Kylo gritted his teeth. He hated bureaucracy and always had. Leia wielded politics and command the way his uncle had wielded a ‘saber, with precision. But the chain of authority, instructions flowing from him to Hux and being repeated incessantly, annoyed him.

Kylo should be able to speak his will and it be done without all the troublesome go-between.

“Anything else, my lord?” Hux asked with another differential bow. Sycophant.

“Yes. Stop bowing.” Kylo turned on his heel and strode away, back into his personal quarters, the finest on the ship. He entered and sealed the door behind him, then began to pace. His knights would arrive soon. They would come in as dark and wrathful as demons, eager to exact vengeance for the death of Snoke.

What would they say, he wondered, when he told them of his plans for Rey?

If they objected to bringing her in alive, they would not tell him. They would arrange for her death, quietly. Holding Snoke’s throne did not guarantee total obedience from the more powerful Force users. As former apprentices to Luke, each knight knew Kylo’s history and they may not respect that as they did Snoke’s shaded origins.

A headache began at the base of his neck, promising to become painful. Even the Knights of Ren could pose a threat to his rule, and Kylo hated that there was no one he could trust. Even his knights would look for a way to betray him if they thought he grew too weak to lead. But they were all he had, the only beings in the galaxy who knew Luke, Snoke, and possessed the skill necessary to track down the illusive scavenger.

Rey appeared in his quarters, snapping him back to the present. She sat before him, as though on his bed, her legs crossed and her arms relaxed along her thighs. Her eyes were closed and her face looked peaceful.

Did she even know she had slipped into their shared space in the midst of her meditation? Their last encounter had felt contrived by her. Had she found a way to control the coming and going?

He moved forward, intent on studying her, taking in her appearance. Her clothing was fresh and not her own. She wore a pilot’s jumpsuit with her hair back again, this time in the three buns from when she’d been a scavenger. Though her expression remained relaxed, he could see dark circles under her eyes.

She looked as least as exhausted as he felt.

Kylo stopped several feet from her and lowered himself to the ground, mimicking her pose, wondering how long it had been since he felt that peaceful, without conflict, devoid of passion, his mind at rest. In his years with Luke, meditating had been a difficult task, his heart always on other things. Sitting still for so long, getting nothing done, had never felt like learning.

“But what if that wasn’t the point?” Rey asked, causing him to jerk his head up in surprise. “I think it’s less about learning something and more about preparing for what comes next, or cleansing yourself after what came before.” She opened her eyes and looked down at him, her light brown orbs focusing, pupils dilating as they adjusted to the darkness of his chamber. “Nothing says you can’t try it, Ben. Clear your mind. It’s easier to face the problems at hand with a fresh slate.”

He stared at her, trying to understand the absurdity of their situation. “I am sending the whole galaxy after you, Rey,” he told her plainly, watching her face for her reaction.

She surprised him by smiling. “Are you? Should I be pleased?”

Kylo’s jaw very nearly dropped open but he caught himself in time and narrowed his eyes at her, taking in the freckles across her cheeks and nose, the way she tilted her head slightly to the left. “I want you alive, but you should know, not everyone I send will feel that way.”

She took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “I understand. I’m relieved you no longer wish to kill me. But it’s disturbing that you’re going to keep pretending I’ll do what you want. Just because we’re connected like this, you think it means our destinies are linked, too.”

“Aren’t they?” he asked. “Light and Dark, the Force has raised you up in power to match me.”

“Exactly. Haven’t you ever heard the tale of the Naboo’s Life Goddess and Death God? Even I’ve grown up hearing that one, and my planet doesn’t even have real seasons.”

Kylo tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes at her. “You and I are not part of some foolish fairy tale.”

“I think it illustrates my point,” she responded. “Many cycles ago, before the Naboo learned to fly, the Life Goddess and Death God dwelt among the people, but because the people feared Death he would often hide himself away in an underground kingdom. But people celebrated Life and all she brought to them, so that she remained always among them, giving them growing seasons all the year long.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and reached up to rub at his temples. “This is hardly scientific, Rey.”

“No, but it’s one of my favorite stories, so shut up and listen,” she snapped, eyes narrowing in disapproval and muscles along her jaw tightening.

Pleased to get a rise out of her, even on something so small, Kylo relaxed and gestured for her to continue. “Go on.”

She nodded and sat straighter. “Besides, I don’t have a lot of time, I’m expected at a meeting soon.” Rey sighed and rolled her neck from side to side. “Death grew jealous of the love people had for Life and determined to pay her a visit, but when he emerged from his dark kingdom and saw her, for the first time, he knew why the people loved her, for he fell in love himself.” She paused and seemed to realize what this story implied, as she quickly said, “Not that I think that is what is going on here, though you do have something of an obsession for me.”

Kylo watched a blush steal into her cheeks. He tilted his head to one side and let his lips twitch in an almost smile. “Do I? I believe it is you who sought me out, Rey.”

“Anyway,” she drawled, narrowing her eyes to slits. “He knew he was such a hideous monster that she could never love him back.”

That stung. Kylo ground his teeth together. But what could he say? He already admitted his monstrous state. His actions forever branded him as a beast, the most unnatural sort of creature, to kill his own father and attempt the same with his uncle and mother. The Dark Side overwhelmed him, pulling him deeper into the abyss of hatred and suffering. Power came with a price.

“So he decided to kidnap her and force her to live in his kingdom as his bride.” Rey continued, lowering her voice, telling the story as she might to a captivated group of children instead of to the most powerful man in the galaxy, either unaware of his thoughts or choosing to ignore them. He ought to have been insulted, really.

“But as soon as she was underground, the plants died, the animals went to sleep, and the land grew cold. The people grew sick without her, and they went to Death, one soul after another, lost.” Rey’s face, usually easy to read, filled with passion or peace, looked unemotional at this point in the tale. He could sense that the mournful spirits of those around her influenced her thoughts.

“Life pleaded with Death to return above, to stop the souls from streaming into his kingdom. But he would not release her, because the thought of being without her hurt him too much. And as Death, master of all in the end, he knew his power was great enough to keep her contained. She grew weaker in his kingdom, deprived of nourishment, for to eat the fruit of Death was to be his forever.”

Kylo couldn’t take the drawn out tale any longer and rushed to conclude it, even though she scowled at the interruption. “And so he tricked her, telling her he would set her free after she agreed to eat at a great feast. He invited all the hosts of his kingdom and celebrated for three days. Why is it always three? Or seven?” He shrugged and raised a gloved hand to wave that question away. “Life grew hungrier, and believed Death would keep his word. She fell to weakness and took a single bite of the Starfruit, but hid the evidence beneath her chair. At the end of the feast, she fled back up to the land of the living and all the wonderful things that happened before came back. Great food, parties, happy people, infant animals. But Death pursued her with the half-eaten fruit as his evidence that she belonged to him.” He tilted his head back and stared at her. “And he was right.”

“But she negotiated with him,” Rey told him, shaking her head. “Because she had grown to have compassion for him, realizing how lonely he was in the Darkness, feared by all.”

Kylo shot to his feet and glared down at her. “She agreed to join him in his kingdom,” he pointed out. He did not want Rey’s pity. He wanted her allegiance.

“For half the year. The other half the year, she stayed above ground, giving of herself to everyone.” She tilted her head back to what looked like an uncomfortable angle to look up at him. “I can’t stand up to glare at you. I’m in rather cramped quarters just now.”

“What was the point of your story, Rey?” he hissed. “Have you compassion on me? Am I Death?”

Rey reached up, her hand brushing against his sleeve, feeling as if it were there. “You’re not Death, Ben, though you’d like to think you’re that powerful. And I’m not Life. But we are opposites and equals. I have accepted that now. You want to compel me to your side, to become who you want me to be, like Death forcing Life to wed him. But it won’t happen, Ben. It’s my choice, who I become. I will not be like you. Death and darkness is not for me. I belong here, with the Resistance, fighting against fear and hatred.”

“Death achieved his goals in the end,” Kylo said, lowering himself to sit beside her, changing tactics, trying to use a softer tone. “It is a ridiculous story.” He reached out, his gloved hand hovering beside her cheek. “But I will win you to my side, Rey.”

“Only if you give up your desire to destroy everyone who opposes your point of view. The people of the galaxy deserve freedom.” She kept her eyes on his but leaned her cheek carefully into his glove. “If we are linked through the Force, and the Force needs balance, why would our destinies be to rule an empire the way you wish to rule it? When Death held all the power, it was darkness, misery, and disease for everyone else. When Life held all the power, people were happy, but they did not understand the gift of their mortality, because there was no threat to it.”

Kylo marveled at the warmth of her skin coming through his glove, awed by their ability to touch across the vastness of space. If he tried to grab her, could he pull her through to his side? Or would his arms pass through her? How solid was she, really? It felt like she was here, beside him, telling him this ridiculous story.

“With you by my side, Rey, we would create a new order. It wouldn’t be like the Empire or the Republics. We would dispense justice and mercy, we would organize the governments and peoples of the galaxies to bring peace at last.”

“That cannot be done through the tactics you are employing,” she argued, the tired look returning to her eyes. She did not withdraw from him, but she came no closer. “I have to go now, Ben. But I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

He blinked in surprise. “Feeling better?”

She offered him the tiniest of smiles. “I can tell when you’re upset.” And she was gone. She didn’t fade from view, she was there are one moment and not the next. His hand remained in the air, cupped around empty space, where she had been. Kylo closed his hand into a fist and thumped it down on the bed, where an impression remained in the blankets from where she had been.

But try as he might, he could not summon anger this time. Exhaustion overtook him and Supreme Leader Kylo closed his eyes and dropped backwards into the bed, his mind reaching for oblivion and rest.


	4. Lies of Omission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remainder of the Resistance must make their plans, but first they share their stories, and Rey finds she must leave more out than she wishes if she wants to maintain the trust of her friends. But Leia sees through her, and Rey must reveal her connection to Ben Solo to his mother.

Rey entered the main hold of the  _ Millennium Falcon _ , only a little refreshed after a short nap and time in the refresher. Leia and two of her closest attendants used the crew quarters while everyone else had tried to sleep in the mostly empty holds. Rey had tucked herself into the chair of the quad laser and then woken with Ben’s brooding emotions smashing into her brain.

 

Their connection had only become stronger, despite her desire to shut it off altogether. Snoke lied. If he did anything to the bridge between their souls, he likely kept them closed off from one another. With him gone, she could feel the bonds at all times, tethering her across the Force to the person she ought to hate most of all.

 

Now, it was time for a meeting in which Leia would tell them her plan. With everyone rested and the ship floating behind a moon of an uninhabited planet, they had to set a course for the rest of the Resistance. 

 

Everyone except Leia, Poe, and C3-PO had already arrived. Even the mechanic Finn hovered over had woken and sat at the table. Finn looked up when Rey entered and offered a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He sat on the floor, next to the mechanic, and Rey could sense uncertainty rolling off him in waves. She wondered if he might be Force sensitive, given his abilities to be at the forefront of every fight, even when all he really wanted to do was run away. She did not think him a coward, quite the contrary. As a scavenger, she knew the drive of self-preservation and understood having to look out for one’s self when no one else would. But as often as he wished to give in to those feelings, Finn always came back, against all his instincts, to help the greater good. It was that aspect of his character that she admired most. He fought his basic needs to aid others. 

 

A clatter of footsteps came from the hall leading to the cockpit and everyone stood, or at least straightened up, as Poe, then Leia, and finally her protocol droid entered the hold. 

 

The assaulting emotions that came with the two humans perplexed Rey. Poe looked triumphant but felt hostile. Leia’s sorrow and exhaustion flowed unchecked. 

 

Something had changed since Rey last saw them. 

 

“Snoke is dead,” Poe blurted to the room at large. “And we’ve learned that Rey killed him.” Shock filled the room and Poe found Rey, a grin splitting his face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 

Rey looked around the room, seeing varied levels of awe and disbelief in the faces around her. “I didn’t kill him,” she protested quickly. “But I saw him die.” Her eyes met Leia’s and she wished she would have told the General all she knew more quickly, instead of waiting for a private moment. Leia’s energy, or lack of it, made sense now. If they knew Snoke was dead, they knew-- 

 

“Kylo Ren is the new Supreme Leader,” Poe added, and that earned more of a reaction. People shifted, the energy in the room buzzed with anger and dismay. “He issued a call for Rey’s capture across every possible frequency, informing the galaxy that she killed Snoke.” The pilot folded his arms and regarded her shrewdly. “If you didn’t kill the Supreme Leader, why would they say you did?”

 

“It’s obvious,” Leia said, coming forward and lowering herself slowly onto a crate. “Kylo Ren killed the Supreme Leader and took the throne. Blaming it on Rey would keep anyone who was loyal to Snoke from seeking retribution.” She looked at Rey. “Am I right?”

 

“Yes, Leia. I’m sorry.” Rey bit her lip and looked down, sorry she muddled the telling of this story. “He did kill Snoke.”

 

“And you were there?” Finn asked, moving a step closer. “How? We were on the ship at the same time?”

 

“I think it’s time we tell our stories to each other,” Leia announced, raising her hand. “We know Rey succeeded in at least one thing. She brought Luke Skywalker to our aid at our most desperate hour. What other adventures have you had, Rey?” Leia looked around the room and the others resumed their seats, all eyes on Rey.

 

Rey from Nowhere. Rey who didn’t matter. Rey, whose parents sold her for drinking and spice money and left her to forever question her worth.

 

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, wondering how much she could tell without revealing the bond between herself and Ben Solo. If the people in this room knew about her link to their greatest enemy, would they trust her? Could they understand? She thought Leia might, and she determined to hold that portion of her story back.

 

And how much could she say of Luke? Would these survivors want to hear of how Luke refused to come with Rey? Refused, until the last instant, to support the Resistance and his own sister? Could she diminish him and his final act like that? 

 

If only she’d spoke to Leia sooner.

 

“I found Luke,” she said softly. “I told him of our plight and he agreed to train me.” That glossed over a great deal of the story, she thought. “But then I felt moved by the Force to confront Kylo Ren.” She dared not call him Ben Solo here, among his most shattered enemies and his mother. “Luke warned me it would not go well, but he did not stop me. There, our paths diverged.” Again, half-truths and missing information made her feel sick. 

 

“I allowed myself to be taken by Kylo Ren and he presented me to Snoke as a gift.” Finn cursed beneath his breath and several others echoed his sentiments. “But I had seen something in a vision,” she continued quickly. “It led me to believe that Kylo Ren would leave his master, return to the light, and assist us in bringing peace back to the galaxy. I saw it as clearly as I see each of you now.”

 

Had she not been responsible for the fact everyone in this room yet lived, she thought she might have seen a great many more people rolling their eyes at her supposed naivete. 

 

Leia raised her hand and that was enough to still the room again. “Go on, Rey.”

 

“Snoke gloated. He used the Dark Side of the Force to reach into my mind, pulling out everything I knew about Master Skywalker. When he finished, he taunted me and told Kylo Ren to kill me. Kylo tricked him, making him think that he would ignite his lightsaber and execute me, when in reality he used the Force and Skywalker’s lightsaber, confiscated by Snoke, to end the Supreme Leader.” She took a deep breath, reliving the moment that Snoke stopped laughing and breathing. 

 

“I called the lightsaber to my hand, Kylo Ren activated his, and we fought the Supreme Leader’s bodyguards.”

 

“Praetorian guards,” Leia provided with a nod, her eyes trained on Rey. “They are an elite group.”

 

“Were,” Rey corrected softly. “We defeated them all.”

 

“You and Kylo Ren were on the same side, fighting the same fight?” Poe asked, his eyebrows nearly reaching his hairline in his surprise. “Damn.”

 

“It obviously didn’t last,” Finn said hotly. “That guy was on our tails and just tried to blow all of us up. Or don’t you remember?”

 

Rey shook her head. “It didn’t last. I tried to get him to stop the barrage on the transports. But he wanted Snoke’s throne.” Ought she to say that he invited her to rule beside him? “He said he wanted to let go of the Republic, the Empire, the Sith, the Jedi, and begin again. Let old things die.”

 

“More like let everyone who would get in his way die,” Finn muttered, crossing his arms and leaning back. The mechanic, Rose, reached down and put her hand on his shoulder. Rey saw the hesitant motion and the way Finn stiffened beneath the touch. Rose looked hurt but withdrew her hand.

 

What was the story there?

 

“I had lost my lightsaber in the fight,” she said. “I tried to retrieve it, to fight him, to make him stop the attack. But he used the Force and we each tried to retrieve it. In our struggle, the lightsaber burst, and the whole ship tore apart. I don’t know which thing happened first or if they happened at the same time. But that was the command ship making the lightspeed jump straight through Snoke’s ship. When I woke up, everything was on fire. I grabbed what was left of the lightsaber and I fled, taking Snoke’s ship to rendezvous with Chewbacca.”

 

She hoped nobody would notice she glossed over leaving Kylo Ren’s unconscious form on the floor. If she would have killed him, as a soldier would, he could not have come after them. Could not have driven them to near destruction. 

 

Leia began speaking before anyone could say a word. “And then you came and provided the help we needed. Thank you, Rey.” Leia sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “And now we know how Kylo Ren became the Supreme Leader.”

 

“Murder and lies,” Lieutenant Connix, a young blonde woman, said with a dark scowl. 

 

“That’s the Dark Side for you.” Leia waved away any further discussion on the topic, much to Rey’s relief, and asked for Poe and Finn to debrief before the room in regards to their actions. Rey listened in surprise and horror to the story of evacuating the base, destroying the Dreadnought, and slowly losing every ship and nearly ever person in the Resistance. When the story ended, with Luke Skywalker’s miraculous appearance and their escape, the hold remained silent for several long moments. A few people wiped away tears they had quietly been shedding. 

 

“Now it remains for us to make plans. The story of Luke Skywalker facing down the First Order, and their new Supreme Chancellor, is already being broadcast, though the First Order is screaming a different message over every frequency they can.” Leia gestured for Commander D’Acy, a solemn looking human female, to continue.

 

“As we are all that is left of the Resistance military,” she began, standing as straight as if she were speaking to hundreds instead of to the few who Rey had been able to save, “our first duty is to survive. We are making a strategic retreat. As the  _Millennium Falcon_ is now the most wanted ship in the galaxy, the first order of business is to find a place to change transports.”

 

Perhaps that was why Chewbacca had not come back to the meeting. Rey knew he could not have taken that news well. Frankly, she wasn’t happy about it either. 

 

“We need to reach out to our allies in the Outer Rim. They received our call and did not come. We must learn why and if any of them could be persuaded to join the fight. We sustained heavy losses, but so has the First Order. They will be scrambling to regroup and fall in line for their new Supreme Leader. With this in mind, we will be dividing into smaller teams and embarking to different planetary systems to learn what we can and report back to a central command post.”

 

Rey looked around the room, seeing varying levels of hope and determination on the faces of these few brave fighters. 

 

“I will work through the assignments myself,” Leia announced, coming to her feet slowly. “But you should all know we will be going to Birren, a planet in the Inner Rim. The _Falcon_ can make the jump, and after it is hidden, I have the ability to access one of our accounts to purchase transport to get off world again. But it is imperative that we remain incognito. Rest for now. We make the jump to Birren soon.” She gestured to Rey. “Come with me. We need to talk.”

 

Rey stood and followed the petite general, noting with sadness how slow the woman’s steps remained. Leia took them to the crew’s bunk room and sealed the door behind them. 

 

Then Leia froze and her hand went to a series of small scratches on the inside of the doorway. Her fingers reached up to trace them and Rey watched as she went from a lower scratch to a significantly higher mark in the metal. When Leia turned, Rey was surprised to see tears streaming down the older woman’s cheeks.

 

“Forgive me,” Leia said softly, lowering herself to a bunk. “It has been so long since I have been on this ship, and I forgot those measurements would still be there.”

 

Rey looked again at the scratches and realized what they must be, starting lower to the ground, and ending just about the height of a man. Her heart felt as though it had been grabbed and squeezed, so painful was it to see the history of a family marked in such a simple way. “Ben’s growth. You measured it on the _Falcon_.”

 

Leia nodded, raising a hand to wipe at her tears. “We moved a great deal, when I was in the Senate. We changed apartments, went off world all the time, and Han was always travelling. He sponsored races all over the known galaxy. The only constant thing for our family was this ship. Sometimes, on very rare occasions, we would all three just climb aboard and run away for a few days. Ben loved those times. But they were too rare, especially as he became older. I was too busy trying to heal the rift in the New Republic, Han had his own projects, and then when Ben finally turned, I never wanted to step onto this ship again. Too many memories.”

 

Rey thought back on her old AT-AT on Jakku, covered in scratches that no one besides her would ever understand. The Solo family had charted growth, she had charted every day of loss. 

 

“You did not tell us everything,” Leia said softly. “And I understand why. But you ought to know, from someone who has been there, that the truth always comes out in the end.” 

 

Rey met the older woman’s eyes, seeing hurt and wisdom, strength and balance. Leia would have been a powerful Jedi, had she chosen that path. “I know.”

 

“Thank you for trying to turn him back, Rey.” Leia squared her shoulders and her eyes hardened. “But you needn’t do so any longer. I lost Ben a long time ago. I must accept that. There is no more light within him.”

 

Although Rey’s first desire was to argue, she took a deep breath. “He said he didn’t hate Han Solo.”

 

Leia flinched at the mention of her husband and lowered her head again. “It hardly matters what he felt. He killed his father. Caused the death of his uncle and countless others. He is as Vader before him.”

 

“But Vader turned,” Rey countered, her tone gentle. “Even after all he’d done, he turned from the Dark Side.”

 

“You are so young, Rey.” Leia sighed. “What does it matter if Vader turned? The destruction he caused, the lives he ended, meant even had he lived he would never have been welcomed in any place in the Galaxy again. Enemies would’ve risen up to kill him, politicians would have called for his blood for all the crimes he committed, and his loved ones would have lived in the same misery. Even if Kylo Ren determined right now to end it all, to renounce the First Order, he could never be forgiven for all he’s done.”

 

Rey listened, and she understood, but she knew she could not give up. “We are connected through the Force,” she whispered at last, and Leia’s eyes widened. “I can speak to him, right now if I wished, and see him as clearly as I see you. We have been linked, and we do not know why, and we cannot stop it. If he is so unforgivable, if he is truly lost, then why would the Force give us that link?”

 

“I did not think it possible,” Leia murmured, raising a hand to her mouth. “I have felt his presence, from time to time. And I have heard my name across space, when Luke has called to me. But what you are describing.” She shook her head. “Luke posited it could be possible.”

 

“You know what this is?” Rey asked in awe, her heart picking up speed. 

 

Leia shook her head but answered. “Maybe. Luke always thought it was possible for people to be connected, through the Force, depending on their abilities and their personal relationships. Though he never trained me to be a full Jedi, there were lessons he imparted. He thought our family, strong as we were with Skywalker abilities, would be capable of at least speaking through great distances. We managed it, but never with real clarity. It was always more like a holo’  coming through a little radiation in space. Sometimes, we had dreams, but they had the quality of dreams. Hazy. Details would slip away in the day time.”

 

“And Luke died,” Rey added softly, reverently. “When he projected himself to battle Ben, he died.”

 

“I cannot like this, Rey.” Leia took in a deep breath. “You are communicating directly with the enemy of the Resistance. You could, however inadvertently, give us all away. If I asked you to stop, to severe this bond, could you?”

 

Rey shook her head. “That is not possible. It happens without my consent, sometimes, and others it is like stepping into the next room to speak to him, where I make the decision and there he is.”

 

“Ben Solo is gone,” Leia said, looking down at the floor. “And Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader of the First Order. And you, our most promising new fighter, a pilot, a potential Jedi, are linked to him more closely than I ever was as his mother.” Leia put a hand to her forehead. “I must think on this. I know you believe you are in the right, but you are young. What will I do with you?”

 

Without an answer for her, Rey sat in silence, as uncertain of her future as ever. The only solid thing in her life now was the Force, perhaps her friendships, and her connection to Ben Solo.


	5. Please Hold for the Dark Lord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is acting suspiciously. Kylo tests the link between himself and Rey. Short, but important.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren often found that people underestimated him. They had since he was a boy. Most assumed since he tended to stand out, a hulking figure in black, a man who used physical intimidation to his advantage, that he practiced little stealth.

General Hux was among those who ought to know better, yet he did not at all suspect that Kylo had found a way to keep an ear on the conversations in the general’s personal chambers. As a paranoid, military-minded individual, Hux regularly swept his private rooms for bugs and any other kind of spy tech he could think of. But he neglected to check that the scanners he relied upon had not been reprogrammed to miss at least one frequency, which Kylo employed from time to time to check up on Hux. 

An uneasiness had crept into Kylo’s mind; a shadow in the Force, hovering darkly around Hux, alerted him to the possibility that the red-headed cur might not be as willing to follow his new Supreme Leader as he pretended. 

Kylo listened in to a particularly interesting conversation.

“The knights will arrive soon,” Hux’s voice said, sounding agitated. “Then I’ll have more of those black wraiths breathing down my neck.”

“We cannot afford to have our plans changed now. Supreme Leader Snoke made it clear what protocols we should follow, in any event. Kylo Ren seems unaware of the importance of our former missions.” That voice Kylo recognized as Admiral Crawler, positioned in the Outer Rim at the time of Snoke’s death. 

“We must exercise patience,” a third voice, one Kylo did not recognize as anyone of importance, chimed in. “Wait until the Knights are gathered and then we will act.”

“Wasting all this effort on hunting down a single girl, and the limping remains of the Resistance, when there are more important things to turn our attention to,” Hux growled, obviously beyond irritated. “Our resources are stretched too thin which makes us vulnerable.”

“Patience,” the third voice said again. 

They ended the conversation there, leaving Kylo both suspicious and angry. What plans of Snoke’s could they be speaking of? He already had several slicers working to decode Snoke’s personal files, to uncover the secrets he might have harbored which would benefit the First Order now. It would not be long before he had all the reports before him on a data screen. 

Kylo checked his personal communications, shifting thoughts of Hux’s mutinous rumblings to the back of his mind for a time. He found two messages from other knights, Cairn and Mord, informing him they would arrive within the week. Other messages were from various leaders from planets of the Inner Rim, proclaiming their loyalty to him, the new Supreme Leader. Several bounty hunters had apparently reported sightings of various Resistance officers, but none could be substantiated and he dismissed those messages in disgust. 

He pushed his datapad away and dropped his face into his hands, aggravated by his inability to jump in a ship and do something, anything, other than sit and wait. 

Patience had never truly been one of his virtues. 

It struck him that he had not spoken to Rey in several days. They had not unconsciously connected and she did not reach out. As he had yet to try bridging the connection between them purposefully, he wondered if he ought to experiment. She had seemingly communicated with him at will, when she sensed his distress.

Not that he felt distressed now, of course. Or had ever been more than agitated. 

But he closed his eyes and reached out, finding the link between them without even having to search for it, and in an instant he could feel her frustration and see her face. She looked upset and did not acknowledge him, though he could see her clearly. 

“I would prefer to be teamed up with people I know,” Rey was saying to someone outside of Keylo’s ability to see. “I know Finn and Chewbacca. I would be happy to be in either of their teams.”

Whatever the answer was, he did not hear it, but her face relaxed. “Thank you. Finn and Rose will be fine.”

FN-2187, the traitorous Stormtrooper? He still lived? It should not surprise him. Survivors like that did anything they had to in order to continue living, even turning on their own. Such cowardice disgusted him.

Rey’s eyes flashed in his direction and she gave the tiniest shake of her head. She didn’t wish to speak to him right now, or listen to him, or sense his thoughts. Apparently, Rey was too busy to be bothered.

Kylo smirked at her and crossed his arms. “Just checking in.”

She flinched and turned her attention to someone else. “Yes. I think I can handle that. What about Rose? Is she feeling any better?”

“I’ll wait, Rey,” he said calmly, leaning back in his chair. “As long as I have to.”

A flood of irritation flowed to him across their bond, along with her thoughts. “Don’t you have something better to do? Like prepare executions or, I don’t know, run the First Order?”

“You’d be amazed how much free time I have now.” He shrugged and attempted to convey nothing but a relaxed front. “Besides, it sounds as if you might be preparing a mission. I find I am greatly interested in what that might be about.”

Her look changed from irritable to dismayed, but just for the flicker of an instant. “Thank you.” She nodded to whoever she spoke to on her side of their link and began to walk away. Go away, her voice warned him through the link.

Her image faded.

Kylo waited for several moments, then reached out to prove their link again, following its tendrils through the Force, paying less attention to her physical presence and more to her emotions and thoughts. Her ability to keep him out of some thoughts, guarding them carefully from him, fascinated Kylo. Her emotions were accessible, but not the thoughts behind them.

Rey was frustrated, uncertain, and exhausted. 

Her form appeared before him, standing stiffly with arms at her sides. “They’re going to think I’m weird,” she said softly, “always stuffing myself in closets.” 

He nearly smiled. She sounded incredibly irritable. 

“Then tell them what’s going on,” he said with a shrug. “Or you could leave the rebels to themselves and come to me in person. That would make communicating easy.” She would never agree to such a thing easily, he knew, but perhaps over time he could wear her down. If he kept stoking the spark of that idea, it could yet yield results. 

Rey sighed and leaned her head back, likely against the wall of the closet she stood in. “I already came to you once. I figure next time, it’s your turn.”

That could never happen. He now led the largest military and government organization in the galaxy. The New Republic was gone, destroyed by Starkiller base. The scattered remnants of that government could never hope to put themselves back together in time to mount any kind of defense. He had Star Destroyers hovering over every major planetary system, to remind them of just how powerful the First Order was. 

“Your mother is mourning you,” Rey said softly, pulling his attention back to the present. 

She said it like it should mean something to him.

It did not.

“What are the rebels planning, Rey? They are hopelessly outnumbered. You could not have more than twenty lifeforms aboard that piece of junk. What will you accomplish with so few?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m done talking for today, Ben. Unless you have anything important to tell me, I have other things to do.”

He stared at her from where he sat, looking up into her warm brown eyes as though she were there. Her features, high cheekbones, stubborn chin, and pale pink lips, were what many would consider pretty enough. But Kylo saw her strength, her determination, and the hope shining in her eyes. In reality, he knew he saw the beauty of her soul. Despite growing up in a barren wasteland, Rey’s being vibrated with life, from the first moment he met her. 

Kylo wanted her by his side at all costs. Her vibrancy, her warmth, would bring balance to his emptiness and the cold reaches of space in which he found himself. Promising Skywalker he would kill Rey was, of course, an empty threat made in anger. He could never harm her. Not when he needed her so greatly.

Rey shifted before him, her eyebrows coming down as she studied him. 

What did she see, when she looked at him? He had caught the surprise of the first time he removed his mask, her flustered expression when they connected while he was in his chambers, changing. She felt a physical pull, at least. That, and her misguided attempts to turn him, might be used to his advantage.

Her cheeks, beneath the already fading bronze of her skin, were flushed with pink. “Ben?”

He only raised his eyebrows at her. 

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I told Leia about our connection. She already seemed to know.”

“Then you have already lost your usefulness to her,” he stated calmly. “You will see, Rey. They will not trust you so long as I am alive.” That was as strong a note as any to end on. Kylo closed the connection, feeling much more confident now that he knew he could control their meetings too.


	6. The Next Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo take their next steps, making plans, moving forward (and away from one another).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished reading Bloodlines. It’s such a wonderful book, with great insight into Leia’s time in the senate and the surprising manner in which EVERYONE found out about Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. Loved it. Will be using some of it as backstory in future. Also, thank you very much to those who have left comments and kudos.

Rey pulled at the hem of her new jacket, part of her disguise purchased at a backwater planet specializing in knock-off designer clothing. Apparently, there was a huge market for people who wished to look like they belonged in Coruscant without ever having to actually travel there. Having spent most of her life just trying to survive, Rey couldn’t fathom why people concerned themselves so much with clothing. Trading in her arm wraps, wrap, and tunic for something Poe Dameron picked out for her to wear had not been easy.

 

“The first order has holos of you everywhere,” Poe informed her. “It’s part of their broadcast. You can’t go walking around in exactly the outfit they say their most wanted outlaw wears. It’s asking for trouble.”

 

Poe and Lieutenant Connix had disappeared into the crowded market streets and returned with clothes for everyone. Even Chewbacca was forced to give up his bandolier for a more innocuous belt and hood. They even gave him dye to turn portions of his fur darker or lighter colors. 

 

“In the early days of the Rebellion,” Leia informed everyone while the clothing was passed out, “we often went deep undercover. I have posed as everything from a bounty hunter to an indentured servant. When you are on the run, the most important thing is safety, not comfort.”

 

Rey bundled up her familiar clothing, reminiscent of what she wore every day on Jakku, and tucked it into the bottom of her shoulder bag. Now she wore a long-sleeved gray shirt, black cargo pants, black vest, and boots too heavy to make walking comfortable. Leia would not even let her keep her lighter footwear. The jacket wasn’t so bad. It was longer, hanging down to her knees, with a large hood. It was a dark brown that made Rey think of Master Luke’s hooded robe. Of course, the jacket was better material for space travel, quilted on the inside. They also gave her fingerless gloves. 

 

Lieutenant Connix handed her a bottle of dye. “It won’t help if scanners analyze your appearance and bone structure,” she’d said. “But no one who’s seen the holo’ will expect you to be walking around with blue hair. 

 

Rey looked at Leia and the general sighed. Leia knew, as well as Rey did, that any change in her appearance could be immediately reported by Ben. He would only have to say the word and all the images of her could be altered in the holos.

 

“I don’t think that’s necessary, Lieutenant,” Leia said. Connix looked like she might argue, but thought better of it and shrugged, walking away. 

 

Finn had finished changing some time before and now dug around in a crate of other things brought in by Poe. He finally fished out a small, cylindrical rod and brought it to Rey. “I told Poe to find you something like this. I know it won’t replace the light-saber, but you’re pretty good with a staff, and it makes less noise than a blaster.” 

 

Rey took the thing from him and when she touched a toggle switch the cylinder grew longer, into a staff a little taller than she. “Thank you, Finn.” 

 

Though she’d only had the lightsaber a short time, Rey felt bereft without it. She had tried to find any reference to lightsabers in the ancient Jedi texts, during her time in the cockpit with Chewbacca, but the language was so ancient that deciphering even a small portion of what was written proved difficult. Her self-directed studies on Jakku, of languages and ship readouts, of history and flight simulators, didn’t cover ancient writing done by hand. Her knowledge of linguistics helped to a degree, but it wasn’t easy.

 

She slid a blaster into the holster at her hip, but a small one.Where they were going, blasters were to be expected. 

 

Sullust, Outer-Rim planet, former mining colony to the Empire, and finally the hosting planet of the Rebellion fleet before the Empire was brought down. Sullust was considered an ally to the Resistance and the now crippled New Republic, or at least they had been before Starkiller Base terrified the entire galaxy with its destruction of an entire system. They intercepted Leia’s plea for help but had not responded.

 

Why?

 

Leia interrupted Rey’s thoughts when she brought over a cap with a piece of cloth hanging from one side. “It isn’t considered very fashionable, but it will be necessary for you. It will cover your head and the veil is meant to cover all but your eyes. That is probably the best we can do.”

 

Rey accepted the cap, gratitude for Leia’s support flooding her. Leia could have excluded Rey from all these missions. Banished her. Sent her away. Maybe Leia only accepted her help because there were so few people left to save the Resistance. Whatever the reason, Rey would do her best, on a team with Finn and Rose, to find out what happened on Sullust. 

 

It took her some time, standing over the drawer containing the Jedi texts, to decide what to do with them. Chewbacca promised everyone he could safely stash the _Falcon_ , but there were no guarantees Rey would be able to come back to the ship any time soon. Ought she to take even one of the precious books with her? It could be lost, or destroyed, if anything happened to her. 

 

Rey took a deep breath and opened the drawer. She closed her eyes and reached out, her fingers tracing the spines of the books, attempting to feel if one or another called to her. She no longer felt the whispers from the books, calling to her, but her fingers prickled as they brushed each volume. A few were bound in leather, some in plant-based materials. 

 

The thrumming sensation in her finger intensified over a particular book. She pulled it out and glanced at it, noting the spine was made from a hard, like-wood material. It reminded her of a reed, but it was larger and harder, a light color. The cover bore a bright, saber-like object with wings at its hilt. 

 

Rey wrapped it in a soft cloth and put it in her pack. 

 

Finn called to her. It was their turn to depart, going to a mass transport ship to get off world before they used the credits Leia transferred to them to buy a small ship. 

 

For a child used to keeping her feet on the ground, the amount of time she now spent flying among the stars was dizzying. 

 

***

 

Kylo Ren stood in the hanger of his personal Star Destroyer, the Accuser, named after one of Vader’s famous ships long ago captured and decommissioned by the New Republic. Stormtroopers waited with him, in neat rows suggesting a uniform, militant pattern of thought that they must all know now to be an illusion. With one of their own so recently creating havoc after his desertion, the white-suited men and women of Phasma’s corps acted like they had something to prove. 

 

That made them more dangerous. They would obey without question, or hesitation, if only to make certain no one turned them in for deviant thoughts. 

 

Phasma, herself badly injured, would only issue orders from her personal chambers until she healed. The woman would not allow anyone to see the extent of her injuries, apart from a personal medical droid team. 

 

Kylo understood this. If people saw injury, they also saw weakness. But if she maintained the mental capabilities to control an entire army of Stormtroopers, even physically incapacitated, they would continue to follow her. 

 

A sleek transport ship, armaments glittering dangerous from beneath shining wings, landed in the hanger. Aboard this ship were three of the Knights of Ren, Kylo’s subordinates, and former pupils of Luke Skywalker. When the ship landed, Kylo cleared his thoughts again, lest anyone sense his frame of mind. He put Rey firmly out of his thoughts, as well as his actions killing Snoke. He needed the other knights on his side, especially if Hux was proving less than reliable. 

 

Cairn, a felinoid Trianii, was of equal height with Kylo, though his build was leaner, more lithe. His fur was gray with darker markings along his ears and along his jawline. He kept himself wrapped well in black, a cloak hiding both the shape of his pointed ears and his tail. Mord was human, no taller than 1.7 meters. He was younger than Kylo by five years and had once been eager-to-please. Now he kept his own counsel, the quietest of the knights. Duna, the only female night, was Dressellian. Her people supported the New Republic without question but she had been angry from the moment Skywalker found her, strong with the Force. She lost nearly everyone she loved and was determined to be a survivor. 

 

Kylo waited for them to approach and, when they were only a few feet away, all three dropped down to one knee before him.

 

The feeling in the hanger shifted as the Stormtroopers watched. The mood went from determined militant attention to surprise, though no one shifted a millimeter. The Stormtroopers knew the Knights of Ren to be fearsome in battle, answerable only to the Supreme Leader. They were the stuff of legends. Silent assasins, the best of spies. 

 

Kylo welcomed them and bid them to rise, then gestured for Cairn, second only to him in ability and rank, to walk with him as he lead them to the lifts. 

 

“The news of Supreme Leader Snoke’s murder reached us each at different systems,” Cairn spoke without preamble, always efficient. “We met at a rendezvous point and came at once. Have you had any word from Hraefn or Tamas, my lord?”

 

“They arrive in a few hours,” Kylo answered smoothly. “Next shift. I will have need to speak to each of you then. In the meantime, recover from your journey. There is much to do.”

 

“Yes, my lord,” the three said as one. A droid waited in the lift to show them to their quarters. Kylo left them there and went on to other business. He did not notice any feelings of unease or distrust in his knights, but he would not know for certain where they stood until he could meet with all of them, explain his vision for the future of the First Order, and hear their opinions. 

 

Hraefn and Tamas were humanoid. Tamas of a species with pointed ears. They were younger than Kylo, but by months rather than years. They had always looked up to him, when they trained with Luke, but never presumed familiarity outside of being comrades in arms. Snoke had kept them all apart, except when he wished them to train together. It did not build trust so much as reliability. That had been the old fool’s goal, to keep divided anyone who might overthrow him one day. Had the Knights come together for the purpose of removing Snoke, it would have been a bloody battle, but a successful one. 

 

Kylo contemplated checking in with Rey, to see if he might determine the Resistance’s next move, but brushed that thought aside. He had to concentrate on his plan with and for the knights. They were his priority, for now.


	7. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Rose, and Rey are assigned to go to the planet Sullust and determine why they did not come when Leia Organa requested aid. Rey, though happy to be back with Finn again, senses the tension rolling off her companions. Something must be done about that.

Rey kept her hood up and face covered when they purchased a used ship, a light, Sheathipede-class shuttle. The thing looked ancient, but she and Rose Tico walked all the way around it, poking and prodding its insides, looking through computer readouts.

“Haor Chall Engineering,” the salesman said, careful not to look too closely at them. Obviously, he did not deal with the most savory people in the galaxy. That would actually be a point in his favor. Crime lords would not do business with someone who sold them faulty ships. “And this one’s been modified. Refitted with a couple of laser cannons, just in case.”

“Your price is too high,” Rose said, shaking her head. “This is Clone Wars era stuff. And not made for a lot of hyperspace use.”

They haggled for a time and, in the end, Rey was impressed at the price they managed. While the ship wasn’t build for frequent hyperspace travel, it had been modified enough that it could handle it.

Finn stood by, arms crossed, and face covered by a dirty bandage meant to hide his features. He also wore goggles on top of his head and clothing that looked like it had seen better days. Rose was dressed the best out of the three of them, in a sleek red flight suit and black leather belts. She’d affixed temporary skin art to her cheeks, the type commonly seen on members of interplanetary gangs.

None of them looked anything like themselves, but all three remained alert for any eyes that lingered too long.

Before long, they were aboard the little ship. As it was not much more than a short-range transport, it had a tight cockpit with four seats, a tiny hall with bunks set back on either side, and a small ‘fresher. In such close quarters, it was even more obvious to Rey that Rose and Finn were experiencing a great deal of tension.

After take-off, Rey let Rose make the calculations for jumping to lightspeed, and she went to the back to sit next to Finn on a bunk. He was carefully going through their packs to organize their supplies. Rey kept her shoulder bag on, not willing to share its contents with anyone.

“So,” she began, drawing the word out slowly, “Rose is pretty great. I didn’t think she’d talk that old trader down so much.”

Finn nodded, not meeting her eyes. “The General will be glad we saved some credits.”

“Mm.” Rey like Finn. He was her first real friend for as long as she could remember. But that didn’t mean she was all that good at communication. Her only real conversations were with droids, junk traders, and a few curt conversations with members of the Resistance.

Then there was the night she opened up to Kylo Ren. Told him what she was actually thinking, feeling, and her empty hopes to find her parents. That had been the most in-depth, emotional conversation of her life, and it hadn’t exactly ended well.

She knew how to talk to people. Of course she did. But she didn’t know how to get people to open up to her.

“I’m glad she saved you,” Rey said at last. The story of Rose barreling her ski into Finn at the last moment, preventing him from dying in a brave but misguided suicide attack, had been told to her by at least three different people on the _Falcon._

Finn stilled and looked up at Rey, his warm brown eyes filled with roiling emotions. “I guess I am too.” Then he took Rey completely by surprise.

He leaned forward, and Rey’s instincts knew what he would do a nano-second before he even moved, but she let it happen. Finn needed this. She saw it in her eyes. He had something to prove.

His lips touched hers tentatively, then pressed harder for two seconds, and then he backed off, looking more confused than before.

Rey watched him as he sorted through his emotions and then she sighed. If she were better at reading people, she might have realized sooner that this would happen. She may have even prevented it by not coming back to speak to him alone. But she could tell that the kiss, brief as it had been, stirred no more emotions in him than it did in her.

She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you okay?”

He looked away, back down at the pack in his hands. “I don’t know. I thought, maybe, that would tell me something, about you or us, or just me.”

They were not that dissimilar. They were both orphans, forced into a brutal lifestyle, focused only on survival from one day to the next, and unable to truly connect with anyone around them. It might have been natural for Rey and Finn to come together, comforting one another, completing each other, and healing long years of loneliness.

But that was not Rey’s path. Now Finn knew it was not his, either.

“I think it told us what we’re not,” Rey answered as gently as she could, giving him a tight smile. “You are my first friend, Finn. I would do anything for you. But you can see that there are some things we will never be.”

Finn nodded and then dropped the pack, shoving his face into his hands. He took several deep breaths and then looked up. A smile had returned to his face. “I’m not sure if I’m okay with that right now. But thanks, Rey. For understanding.”

Rey suddenly understood a great deal more. She blurted her next question. “Rose likes you, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Finn sighed, his smile fading again. “A lot. But I’m not sure…. I spent so much time worrying about you. I don’t know if I feel the same way. Yet.”

“You’ll figure it out,” she told him. “But be nice to her, in the meantime. Even I noticed you pretty much ignoring her. You won’t figure anything out unless you give her a chance.” Rey stood and stretched, looking down the corridor to the small hold, capable of carrying a few smaller transports for land travel, maybe a few crates, but little else. The whole little ship had to be seventy-five years old.

The _F_ _alcon_ was near that age. She really shouldn’t judge the little hunk of junk so harshly. She’d seen the readouts. It would get them where they were going.

She went back to the cockpit where Rose was finishing putting the calculations for the jump to lightspeed. “It’s not a straight shot,” Rose said, without looking up. “But it won’t take long to get there. About sixteen hours.”

Rey dropped into the co-pilot seat and strapped in. Finn joined them a moment later and did the same, without speaking.

“Here we go.” Rose took the controls and flipped a few more switches, and then the stars stretched from points of light into threads of silver and blue. They soared through space, faster than the speed of light, and Rey watched with wide eyes. She hoped she never got used to is. Hoped that flying like this would always leave her in awe.

Finn cleared his throat. “Maybe now’s a good time to go over our strategy for Sullust.”  

Rey turned in her seat, as did Rose, looking over the back of their chairs at him. “Have you been there?” she asked.

“No. It’s a mining planet. The surface is covered in poisonous fogs and vapors. It’s not habitable for life forms accustomed to oxygen.” Finn leaned back and crossed his arms, his eyes going from Rey’s to Rose’s. “Everything is underground. The Empire took the mining operations over for a while. That’s about all I know.”

“After the Empire withdrew, Sullust was a base for Rebel operations,” Rose said, taking up the narrative. “And that’s where the Rebel fleet staged before attacking _Death Star II._ After the Republic reformed, they even had a senator.”

“And he was killed by the _Starkiller Base_ attack,” Rey finished. “So now it’s down to local leadership.”

“They have a governor, voted into office.” Rose reached behind her and pulled a datapad from where she had hooked it into the ship. “But why didn’t they ask Nien Nunb to come since it’s his home world?”

“Leia said there are more species of humanoid there now. I understand the language, though I don’t speak it fluently. Maybe it would be less obvious for three unknown people to walk around, asking questions. Nien Nunb might be a well-recognized hero.”

Finn nodded. “That sounds likely. Three off-worlders looking for work and learning about the politics is less suspicious than one of their own asking about things he should already know.”

They did not strategize long, as a lot depended upon what they found when they arrived at the planet. They agreed on code phrases to signal distress, the need to split up, and determined who would take point on contacts. They decided to keep Rey’s ability to understand the language between themselves as much as possible. Most people understood Basic, but not many would be expected to know the Sullustan language.

Finally, it was decided they ought to sleep in shifts, with Rose or Rey in the cockpit at all times. Rey decided to sleep first, leaving Finn and Rose together in the cockpit. He shot her a pleading look but she only grinned at him and kept moving. Finn would have to deal with things eventually, and if the two of them could stop being so tense, it would help the mission.

Rey settled into a bunk, pulling the blankets tight against her. She didn’t bother to take off any clothing, out of habit more than anything, though the cold of space had a harder time penetrating all the layers. On Jakku, if you took off your boots to sleep, they might not be there when you woke.

It did not take her long to slip from meditation into slumber, and she did not pause to wonder why Ben Solo had not made use of their bond in several cycles.


	8. The Rabid Cur Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Knights of Ren have gathered to do the new Supreme Lord's bidding, but General Hux shows his hand at last.

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren, the heir to the Empire, did not command nearly enough respect. He knew Stormtroopers avoided him in halls, that officers avoided giving him bad news, and that General Armitage Hux did not hold him in high esteem.

For years Kylo had obeyed Snoke’s every order, always pushing his desires and thoughts into the background. Repressing his anger, impatience, and the conflict within had taken its toll and he had taken out his frustration on inanimate objects and stupid underlings. He followed orders, but he didn’t have to like it.

He felt a conflict rising within him again, though it had less to do with Light versus Dark and more to do with trust versus caution. His mind went back to his analogy of the pyramid, specifically to the structures of Yavin IV. His father took him there, once, when he was just a boy. Chewie kept an eye on young Ben Solo, scrambling atop the ancient temples of crumbling stone. He made it all the way to the top of one of those mossy green pinnacles before the Wookie thought to call out a warning that it might not be safe.

The stone beneath his feet was slick with moss, but he was sure footed. Or so he had thought. Only his reflexes, heightened by his skill with the Force, saved him when his boot hit a particularly slick patch of green. His hand shot out before he really even started falling, catching the stone spire. But that ancient rock broke the moment his hand hit it and the boy slid down several steps before he caught himself.

Chewbacca insisted on carrying him the rest of the way down, as his kind were very sure-footed in high places.

Kylo pushed the boy he was out of his thoughts and tried to focus on the problem at hand. His position now was just as precarious as young Ben Solo’s position had been then. Kylo might be at the top, but that only made it easier for someone to topple him down.

All the knights had arrived and he would meet with them. Not in a throne room like Snoke would do. Kylo wanted a different relationship with the knights.

He wanted to trust them. He needed them to trust him.

He exited his chambers and found Cairn waiting for him, hood down to reveal his feline characteristics. His ears twitched and he bowed to Kylo. “Supreme Leader.”

“Master Cairn,” Kylo responded, having already decided to grant Cairn leadership over the knights. Their order would be different, with Kylo as leader. They would work together on missions of importance, reporting directly to him, with greater authority than even the First Order generals.

Hux wouldn’t like that at all, which very nearly made Kylo smile.

“You honor me, my lord,” Cairn said, falling into step as Kylo began the long walk down the corridor towards the executive offices and meeting rooms. “But if you would give me a moment of your time, before our meeting, there is something I wish to say.”

Kylo stopped and turned to look at Cairn, once a child like him, taken in by Luke Skywalker to train. They had both come very far down a dark and dangerous path. Kylo wanted to trust this knight, above the others.

“Speak, Master Cairn,” Kylo said, keeping his arms at his side, his hands loose. If betrayal came now, he would be ready. He must always be ready.

Cairn lowered his voice but did not step closer. “Something is wrong, my lord. There is a tension on this ship. We have all felt it. The Darkness conceals its origin, but there is...something.” He looked away, his large green eyes narrowing. “I have a bad feeling about this meeting.”

Kylo let down all the barriers he’d held in place over the last several days, in an effort to keep Rey from intruding into his meetings as well as to block any probings from his fellow knights. It only took him a moment, reaching with the Force across the ship the way a normal being might reach for the hand of another. He found the Darkness swirling, as Cairn had said, twisting and turning, concealing enemies. Not other Force users. This energy was not being purposefully harnessed, but naturally amassing.

The way it did around a murderer, just before they snuffed out a light.

The way it had around General Hux before the first shot fired by _Starkiller Base_.

Kylo’s hands curled into fists. In his efforts to be cautious, he failed to sense a very real threat to his rule.

He turned and went to a comm unit in the hall, punching in his personal code. “I wish to speak to General Hux,” he said, as calmly as he could. He would rather see the man in person and shove his lightsaber through the general’s chest for acts of sedition against the Supreme Leader.

“Ah, Supreme Leader,” the general’s voice spoke, though his face did not appear. “Have you made it to your meeting yet?”

The slimy snake sounded confident, calm, and too pleased with himself.

“I want you there, Hux,” Kylo bit out. “Immediately report to the executive meeting chambers.”

But Kylo felt that twisted, writhing Dark mass tightening around the general.

He knew.

Kylo looked up at Cairn and the moment their eyes connected, Cairn nodded and burst into a run, his powerful legs driving him down the hall faster than Kylo could keep up without using the Force to boost his speed. They arrived at the executive chambers only a pace apart, Kylo’s hand raised to open the doors, when there was an enormous blast, like a dozen thermal detonators going off at once. Kylo was flung backward into the wall, Cairn into him, as fire blazed all around them.

Rage filled him, turning the Darkness of the Force flowing in and around him into a red river of fury and death. Cairn roared, the sound reverberating down the halls and into Kylo’s bones. He and Cairn reached out, at the same time, and found their knights, brothers and sister in arms, dead on the other side of the flames.

“To the bridge!” Kylo shouted, pushing away from the wall and casting off his cloak, which was alight with fire. Cairn followed, drawing his lightsaber as he walked and igniting the bright yellow cylinder.

Like the other knights, Cairn never felt the need to make a new ‘saber. The art of building synthetic crystals had gone, kyber crystals were scarce, and their ‘sabers worked just as well no matter which side of the Force they embraced. Kylo had been the only one to build a new one, letting old things go, forging a new identity for himself.

Any being who got in their way would die.

But it wasn’t a being that appeared at the end of the hall. It was a massive droid battalion, turning the corner and marching forward.

Hux’s voice came over the comm system. “I had hoped to get all of you at once, but I was prepared for this. I am not on the ship, Supreme Leader. But there are twelve full squadrons of droids prepared for you, eighteen regiments of Stormtroopers, and enough blasting power to destroy a small moon. Even you, with all your mystical power, will never make it to the bridge alive. But it will be fun to watch you try.”

Kylo glared down the hall, his lip curling up in a snarl. “This is _treason_!” he shouted.

“No. This is the rightful Supreme Leader taking his place, at last.” Hux’s voice remained absurdly calm. “Your people believe in destiny, don’t they? Well, it has always been my destiny to rule. Goodbye, Ben Solo. Your family’s legacy ends here.”

The droids assumed sniping position, knelt, and stood, in rapid succession, insuring at least sixty guns trained on Cairn and Kylo.

“Ventilation system,” Cairn said.

They jumped upward at the exact moment the droids opened fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you're all impatient for Rey and Kylo/Ben to interact again. It's coming. Next chapter. Hang on!


	9. Rescuing The Supreme Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is only one way out for Kylo and Cairn. But will Rey do what it takes to save them?

Rey jolted awake, yelling, “No! Look out!”

Finn, who must have settled in for bed in the middle of the shift, sat up before coming fully awake and screamed in pain when his head smashed into the top of the bunk. Rey barely acknowledged him, throwing herself off the bunk and standing straight, stretching her senses along a red blazing bridge and through the blast doors into Ben’s mind.

 _“It’s not a good time,”_ he snarled through the link.

“When is it ever?” she asked, speaking out loud, trying to take in his state. Everything was dark. Only a little flash of red occasionally showed his face to her. He was covered in sweat and breathing heavily, standing still with his head tilted backwards, as though he leaned against a wall. “Where are you? What happened? I was asleep, and then everything was on fire.”

***

Kylo had no time for Rey. Not while he was running for his life, through a maze of pipes and wires in the portions of the ship only fit for mechanic droids. Cairn stood on the other side of a large black cable, pressed tightly against a wall, trying to catch his breath. Droids had followed them into the vents, then through two cable pipes, before they had destroyed a few and lost the others. But every sentient thing on this Destroyer was looking for them, scanning for them, and it would not be long before this hiding place was discovered.

They were going through their options when Rey interrupted. WIth no time to explain, he flooded their link with images from the last several minutes, reinforcing the memories with his anger, hoping that would make her withdraw.

“How smart is General Hux, really?” Cairn asked, forcing Kylo to divide his focus between his link with Rey and the current situation.

“Dangerously smart. His military genius is what brought him this far. If Snoke hadn’t been concerned about Hux’s thirst for power, he likely would’ve made him a Grand Marshall.” Kylo shoved a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face.

Cairn’s eyes glowed in the dim light provided by a small emergency light. “How would he expect us to escape?”

“The Bridge or the hanger. Maybe escape pods, though that would be suicide since none of them are armed.”

Rey’s voice sounded as if she was speaking into his ear and he could make out her shape in the darkness. If she were truly present, their odds would be better. The girl was good in a fight.

“Ben, it’s suicide to try the other options, too. If you’re being hunted, you know they will be watching all the escape routes.”

Almost as if he’d heard her, Cairn groaned. “How do we take over an entire ship like this? Or get off? The hanger will be on lock down, the ships deactivated.”

Kylo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “There may be a way, but you aren’t going to like it.”

“What?” both voices, Rey and Cairn, asked at once.

“There is a chance for survival. Living to fight another day. That is all that matters, right? Getting through today?” He tried to meet Cairn’s eyes, knowing the felinoid had better vision in the dark than a human.

“I agree.” Cairn’s ears twitched backward. “They’re coming closer. We have a few minutes before we have to move again.”

Kylo nodded and turned toward Rey, deciding he had no choice but to take Cairn fully into his trust. “If we surrender to the Resistance, I know someone who will come to our aid. We would have to time it out perfectly. But we could use the escape pods on the docking side of the ship. They are supposed to be for mechanics in case of a malfunction on that side of the ship. They are away from the main guns and opposite the TIE fighters’ main hanger. After we jettison, a good pilot could come out of hyperspace beneath the Destroyer and pick us up, then jump back to lightspeed before they realize where we’ve gone.”

Rey started nodding before he even finished his explanation. “Right. I’ll see what I can do.” Then she disappeared from beside him.

Cairn remained quiet for a moment, then cursed chuckled. “Who would be foolish enough to even attempt that maneuver? And didn’t you almost annihilate the Resistance only days ago? They are halfway buried, their rebellion dead without knowing it. None of them would trust your surrender or mine. You are the Supreme Leader. They want you killed. Unless you’re talking about Organa?”

 

Kylo shook his head. “No. Someone else.” He looked down a narrow corridor, made strictly for maintenance droids. “Let’s move. We’ll talk when we’ve got more distance between us and the scanners.” Kylo pushed away from the wall and the two of them started scrambling upwards among the wires.

He could not see a way out this time. Not without Rey.

***

Rey came out of her communication with Kylo and blinked when she saw Finn and Rose standing in front of her, staring in fascination. “Does she do that often?” Rose asked softly.

“Never seen it before,” Finn admitted with a shrug. “Must be a new Jedi thing. A vision or something.”

Rose realized she was back before Finn did. “Who’s Ben?” she asked, tilting her head to one side, eyes narrowed.

Rey didn’t have much time to explain, but she knew she would have to in order to get these two to cooperate. “First I should probably tell you both that I’m not crazy. It was a Force...thing.” She shook her head, trying to find the words to convince them. Sharing images with Ben had been easier than putting anything into words. “There’s been a mutiny, an act of treason, within the First Order. They’re hunting down Kylo Ren and they’ve killed all but one of the other Knights of Ren. General Hux is in command, trying to be the new Supreme Leader.”

“Good. If they’ve got that kind of crazy going on, they won’t worry about us for a while.” Finn crossed his arms and his shoulders stiffened. “But it sounded like someone was in trouble.”

“Yes. We need to forget about Sullust and go on a rescue mission instead. Quickly.” Rey took a step toward the cockpit but Rose stepped into her path.

“Slow down, Rey. Who needs to be rescued?” Her face was a mix of worry and disbelief. “We can’t just disobey orders and we aren’t able to communicate with the General at lightspeed.”

“Leia would want this, trust me,” Rey said, shaking her head and taking another step. Rose didn’t move.

“Who is it?” Finn asked, his stance relaxing. “And where are we going?” His obvious trust in her would have been touching at another time. But she knew he wasn’t going to like the answers she gave.

Rey shook her head. “There’s not enough time to explain. He’s in danger, right now!”

“ _Who?”_ her companions said together.

There was nothing for it. “Kylo Ren,” she finally answered, clenching her hands at her side. “Ben Solo. Leia’s son. The Supreme Leader. He’s being hunted down, inside the guts of a Destroyer and he’s asked for help. In return, he will surrender to the Resistance.”

Absolute silence met that statement while Rose’s expression went from concerned to skeptical and Finn looked like he might explode, his whole body trembling with suppressed emotion.

“How do you know what is happening to Kylo Ren?” he asked slowly, each word emerging louder than the last. “And why? He’s a murdering animal. He’s killed _everyone_ we care about. How do you know _anything_ about him?”

Rey tried to relax, tried to look as calm as possible, relaxing her stance. “Ben and I have been in communication, through the Force, since I met with Master Skywalker. Leia knows, I’ve told her everything.” _Or almost everything,_ she corrected herself internally. “Don’t you see? This is it! This is the Force at work at last, shaping our paths. If we rescue Kylo Ren, there’s a chance he will turn back to the Light. He _will_ defect. His insight into the First Order will lead to their defeat!”

Finn kept shaking his head, his expression growing stormier by the second. “Rey, he _is_ the First Order! He’s the Supreme Leader. He killed _Han Solo_ , he’s responsible for the deaths of innocent people. He can’t be trusted. Why are we even _talking_ about this?” He turned around and slammed both hands into the wall behind him. “We stick to the mission.”

Rose looked between the two of them, her eyes lingering on Finn.

Ben appeared at Rey’s side.. He looked worse, but at least she could see him more clearly.

“I have our coordinates. How long until you arrive?” He looked pale, his breath hitched as though he had an injury, and his eyes were haunted. She had seen that look before, in the eyes of desert prey on the rare occasion she had to find a meal when there was nothing to barter.

“They won’t come,” Rey answered, looking up into his face.

HIs expression turned incredulous. “They won’t accept the full surrender of the betrayed Supreme Leader? Who is stupid enough to refuse that?”

Rey glanced at Finn from the corner of her eye and saw he was gaping at her, likely shocked to realize she must be talking to the feared and hated Kylo Ren at that very moment. “The people I’m with. We’re on a mission. It doesn’t matter now. But they won’t rescue you.”

Ben rolled his eyes upward and bent towards her, lowering his voice as he spoke. “Rey, you don’t need their permission. As much as you like to play nice with your new friends, they do not control you or your destiny. If you do not come, I _will_ die.” He looked away from her, his head snapping sharply to the side. “Here are the coordinates.” He sent them to her through their link, a complete readout he stole from a tiny monitor inside a tiny closet of wires and data screens.

Then he was gone and Rey was looking at Finn and Rose, now presenting a united front against her.

She tried one more time. “I have the coordinates and we need to rescue Ben.”

Finn stepped forward, looking deeply into her eyes, his jaw set. “ _Kylo Ren_ deserves to die.”

Rey closed her eyes and sighed. “You’re going to be really angry at me,” she murmured softly, then raised her hand and found the Force swirling through and around her friends. They were not simple minded, and she would not even attempt to manipulate them like that. No one should be forced to act against their wishes.

That left her one option.

 _“Sleep,”_ she said, commanding that invisible power, and in her mind she could almost see the word flow through her extended hand, then twining itself around Rose and Finn, as they collapsed to the ground, unconscious. It only took a nano-second to happen, but Rey felt the whole thing.

When she opened her eyes, she winced, sorry for what she had done. But she stepped over them and into the cockpit, locking it shut behind her with a pass-code, in case they woke up before she achieved her purpose.

Rey did not know how deeply she believed in destiny, but when she came out of hyperspace and input the new coordinates, she was surprised to see it would only take minutes to get to Ben’s Destroyer.

She sent one message out, hurtling along their Force bond like a podracer. _“I’m coming.”_


	10. Trust

The timing had to be perfect, but Kylo trusted the Force to guide him, as it always had, directly to Rey. Convincing Cairn had been surprisingly easy, but since the alternative for them only included fighting until they were riddled with laser-blasts, there really wasn’t much of a choice. Death or surrender. 

They waited until the last possible second to board a tiny evacuation pod not built for beings of their stature. They strapped in and Kylo hit the release button. As expected, the ship rejected his code.

Cairn was enough of a slicer to get them going, using a backdoor coded into the system. But they would know what Kylo was attempting and in seconds there would be TIE fighters dispatched to destroy their pod. 

They released from the ship and drifted into space, not engaging their thrusters, and Kylo looked out the viewport for Rey.

Seconds ticked by.

Cairn’s ears twitched and he released a slow breath, trying to maintain patience.

Then Kylo felt her presence, drifting over him like a summer breeze. A ship appeared. The cargo doors opened, but Kylo knew there would be no time to engage the thrusters. The fit would be a tight one, too. He reached out and used the Force, pulling them inside.

_ TIE fighters, _ Rey sent through the link.  _ It’s going to be close. _

_ We’ll make it, _ he responded.  _ Even in this piece of garbage you call a ship. _

Their escape pod scratched its way into the cargo hold and Kylo held it against the ceiling while the doors closed behind them, horrific metal-on-metal screams making him wince. But the doors  _ did _ shut. 

He felt the jump to lightspeed. 

Cairn expelled a gasp that was half air and half curse. “I didn’t think we’d make it.”

Kylo sat back and closed his eyes, but it was not relief of the near escape that gave him the ability to relax.

Rey’s presence, nearer now, and in a more calm situation than their last physical meeting, wrapped around him through the Force, like a lover’s embrace after a long absence. The first time he felt this was in the lift, on their way to see Snoke. Even then, there had been a great deal of tautness, and desperation, in their link. But now, Rey must feel relieved, and even dared to hope, for this kind of peace to flow through their bond to him.

Did she feel it the way he did? Was his presence an immediate comfort to her? 

“We’re stuck,” Cairn said.

“Of course we are,” Kylo answered, not bothering to open his eyes. “This pod is too big for the ship. We’ll never get the door open while we’re inside.”

“Should we cut our way out?”

Kylo shook his head. “We’ll make our hosts more comfortable if we stay put. And you never know when you’ll need a good escape pod.” 

“This scavenger,” Cairn said, moving deftly to his next question. “How is it that she is this strong in the Force? I can feel it, rippling around her, like a stone tossed into a meditation pool. She is...disruptive, but not out of place.”

That made Kylo open his eyes and look at his oldest comrade with appreciation. “That is the most apt description you could give.” But he had no intention of answering further, opting instead to unbuckle from the confining seatbelt and push back enough to make his legs comfortable. Mechanics were generally smaller in build, which meant their escape pods were not designed for long legs or wide shoulders. Cairn was shifting and attempting to find some comfort as well, but two large beings in such a confined space could not hope to obtain any physical ease.

Kylo looked to the viewport, toward the door which led to the rest of the ship. 

Rey was coming.

***

His presence nearly overwhelmed her. Rey forced herself to remain on task, checking her calculations and rechecking them. This jump would take them away from the First Order quickly, but it would not be long. She had a duty to contact Leia and tell her what she’d done. But she needed to talk to Ben first. She had to be sure he meant to keep his word. And if he gave her any reason to doubt him, she’d have to eject him from the ship quickly. 

But it was hard to think, or see reason, when she could feel him wrapped around her like that black cloak he wore the first time she saw him. His Force signature was dark, warm, and powerful. Nothing about it could be considered peaceful, though within it she felt safe. Protected better than any blast shield could protect her.

With nothing else to do, no other buttons to push, Rey put her trembling fingers to her forehead and took in a deep breath. Then she unlocked the cockpit door and stepped over her friends. They were starting to stir, which meant she would have a lot of apologizing to do in a moment. But for now, she hurried down the corridor and into the now-crowded cargo bay.

His gaze met hers the second she stepped through the door, his deep brown eyes telling her more than the rest of his expression. Ben Solo had never felt more relieved in his life than he did then, his gratitude flowing freely through their link, tinged with his anger at Hux’s betrayal, but there nonetheless. 

HIs companion cleared his throat and Rey looked to him, surprised that she did not fully recognize his species. He must have flipped on their outer-comm when she entered.

“Rey the scavenger,” the felinoid murmured, his tall gray ears standing straight up. “You are not what I expected. Thanks for the rescue.”

She nodded curtly to him, then looked to Ben again. “I need to ask. Are you really surrendering? Both of you.” She gestured to Cairn with one hand, then raised it to hover over a large red button. “Because if not, I’m dropping you off here. In the middle of hyperspace.”

Cairn chuckled. “Feisty one, isn’t she? You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t tell you a lot of things,” Ben muttered, raising a hand to rub at his eyes, then smooth his hair back from his forehead. “Yes, Rey. I surrender.”

“You trust his word?” Cairn asked, and Rey looked to see his eyes widening. “Brave girl.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him and laid her hand on the button, but didn’t put any pressure on it. “I’m not stupid. I can tell if he’s lying.” She looked to Ben again. “Spit it all out, Ben. So your friend knows.”

Because he did not say everything out loud that he promised through their link. 

Ben looked like he might argue, and she felt the tension gather in him, but he relented. “Fine. I swear, on everything I hold dear, on my life, that I surrender to you. I will not harm you or anyone under your protection. Not this time.”

Cairn looked impressed. “What about me?” He looked at Rey and smiled, sharp incisors flashing. “Would you trust a pretty speech from me?”

But it was Ben who answered. “She trusts that I’ll kill you if you try anything.” He said it coolly, slowly, as though it didn’t matter that he would sooner give harm to an old ally than put Rey in danger. 

“Oh. I guess I better surrender then.” His smile returned larger than before and he chuckled. “Don’t worry, little one.” He winked. “I will follow my commander’s orders and his vow will be mine.”

Rey nodded and lowered her hand from the button. She heard Finn cursing and Rose spilling some colorful language of her own. “Good. I’ll be back.” She went through the door and locked it as she had the cockpit. While she trusted Ben to keep his word, she did not trust Finn anywhere near that shining big red button.

Finn was helping Rose to her feet when she turned around and they both looked up at her, Finn’s expression cutting through to her heart. Never had a man looked so betrayed, she was certain of it. Rose looked fearful. Her hand went to her blaster and her eyes stayed on Rey.

The ship lurched out of hyperdrive, sending all of them stumbling, and Rey caught herself on one of the upper bunks. “Glad you’re both okay,” she said when no one moved. “We should be able to contact the general now and tell her what happened.”

Explosive was the only word to describe Finn’s reaction. He yelled nearly incoherently for a full twenty seconds while Rose’s grip tightened on her blaster.

_ Great, _ Rey thought.  _ I’ve alienated my only friend and Rose is afraid of me. This isn’t going well. _

Ben’s presence, still surrounding her, gave her the courage to raise her hand, in a gesture she hoped would look peaceful and apologetic.

But it was the wrong thing to do.

Rose raised her blaster and set it to stun while Finn moved aside just enough to block Rose’s body.

“Please,” Rey said, opening both palms and raising them outward. “I just wanted to save Ben. That’s done. Now you can hail Leia and tell her everything. I won’t move again.” She slowly lowered herself to the floor and sat cross-legged, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. “I’m sorry that I had to do that to you. I’m sorry it’s frightened you and made you angry. But I had to save him.” 

“Finn?” Rose said softly. “What do we do? She’s your friend. Can we trust her?”

Rey’s heart cracked when Finn started shaking his head. “I don’t know anymore.” He waved his hand toward the cockpit. “But we’d better call the general and tell her what’s happening. Looks like we won’t be going to Sullust.”

Rose nodded and pressed the blaster into Finn’s hands. He tried to push it back but she shook her head. “You just told me you don’t know if you can trust her. It’s on stun. You stay out here and keep an eye on things. I’ll be back.”

Finn sighed and his hand tightened around the handle, but his finger stayed off the trigger. When the cockpit doors wooshed shut behind Rose, he stepped back and leaned against the wall, his eyes never leaving Rey.

“That murderer is on board?” he asked quietly.

“Ben Solo and his companion, Cairn, are on board.” Rey kept her voice calm, projecting assurance and tranquility as much as she could. 

But Finn’s eyes hardened. “Cairn the Trianii? He’s always been Kylo’s lieutenant. You have the two most dangerous Knights of Ren on this ship? And you  _ trust  _ them?”

The next words would hurt Finn even more, but Rey had to say them. And she could feel Ben listening in through their link. “I trust Ben Solo with my life, and Cairn will not betray him.”

Finn collapsed, sliding down the wall, his pain and anger obvious without the feelings falling off him in waves, crashing down the hall on her through the Force. “He isn’t Ben Solo. Why can’t you see that? He’s lying to you.”

“He’s never lied to me about who he is,” she answered. “And he is Ben Solo. Whether he will ever admit it or not.”

Ben’s presence withdrew, the way a friend might step back in surprise, but then it came back, settling about her again, like a blanket thrown over her shoulders on a cold night. He said nothing, but he was there, and their link was stronger than ever.

_ “I told you it was your turn to come to me,” _ she said, trying to inject a little humor into the situation, though she knew their position was precarious.

_ “Look at that. Your prediction came true. Rey’s a prophetess now.” _ The sarcasm was not lost on her and she almost smiled. 

Whether he admitted it or not, in some ways, Ben Solo was exactly like his father.


	11. Loss Of Balance

Leia’s hologram, hovering above Rose’s data pad as a perfect miniature of the general, looked supremely annoyed. Rose had come out of the cockpit, handed the data-pad to Finn with the image already broadcasting, and then Finn walked it to Rey, who would not move from blocking the door to Ben and Cairn. 

“Let me make certain I understood Tico’s report,” Leia said, a deep furrow between her eyebrows and her mouth a thin, straight line. “You made contact with the enemy, determined he spoke the truth about his life being in danger, decided to abort the Sullust mission in order to save him, and he’s surrendered to the Resistance.” She sat straighter and waved a hand, dismissively. “And let’s not forget you did all of this over the protests of your companions, using super-natural methods to subdue them. Am I missing anything?”

Rey’s heart sank at the disappointment she heard in Leia’s voice. She hoped the general would be more understanding, even if she no longer believed her son capable of turning away from the path of Darkness. 

“That is mostly correct. But there is one distinction B--Kylo would like to make clear.” She swallowed and lowered her head slightly. “He did not surrender to the Resistance. He surrendered to me. He is my prisoner and any attempt to remove me from the situation will result in a...lack of cooperation on his part.”

Leia sat back, bringing her hands up before her and steepling her fingers together. “That is an interesting line to draw, especially for him. I am not certain how I feel about it. Either he has a great deal of trust in you or else he thinks he can turn you. Which is it, Rey?”

“Both, I think,” Rey answered honestly, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. 

“And that is exactly how you feel about him.” Leia tapped her lips with both index fingers, looking downward. “But what remains to be seen is which one of you is correct. Do not bother protesting that you would never turn. Under the right circumstances, anyone might do so. Power is a temptation, especially to those who have never wielded any.”

Rey sighed and nodded. “Yes, Leia.”

“Don’t ‘yes, Leia,’ me,” the general said, her voice becoming more commanding. “That man who has consented to be your prisoner murdered my husband and caused the death of my brother.” She lowered her hands, one of them curling into a fist. “In a matter of days, he destroyed the Resistance that I sacrificed everything to bring together. You were a child when this fight began and you cannot possibly understand how monumentally foolish it is to accept that man’s word that he will not raise his hand against us in the foreseeable future. You have not completed your Jedi training. You are naive and incapable, at this time, of controlling the gift the Force has given you.” Leia shook her head and met Rey’s eyes through the holo.

“Then you would have told me to leave him to die?” Rey asked softly.

“It isn’t that simple,” the general snapped. 

Rey shook her head, hardly believing she dared to contradict this living legend. “But it is. He was going to die. He asked me to save him. Would you have turned him away? I don’t think either Han Solo or Luke Skywalker would have.”

Leia’s eyes narrowed. “Do not presume to know their minds. They are gone.”

“And they both died trying to save people,” Rey said, not raising her voice to match Leia’s. “What do you want me to do? Eject him into space?”

“Would you, if I commanded it?” Leia countered.

Rey considered the question. “No. I’d leave him on an uninhabited moon, maybe. But I would probably go with him.”

“Why?”

Rey sighed and glanced above the holo’ to Finn’s face, seeing his expression bordering more on disbelief than anger. How could she possibly explain to anyone what it was she felt between herself and Ben Solo? Would they ever understand? Now that she and Ben were close again, their link pulsating between them like a living thing, a cord connecting them, she could not imagine being without him.

“Because what has been connected by the Force, in a way which I cannot even begin to understand, should only be divided by the Force.” Rey looked into Leia’s eyes again, not able to read them as well as she wished. “I could not walk away from him, even if I wanted to, until I understand why this thing exists between us.”

Leia looked away abruptly and began typing into a keypad on the arm of her chair. “I am sending my coordinates to Tico. You are all to report back to me, with your prisoners in tow. Don’t bother confiscating their lightsabers. I know how useless a gesture like that can be.” She snorted and hit a final button. “We will speak more when we rendezvous.”

“Yes, General.” Rey inclined her head in what she hoped looked like a respectful manner, but Leia only ended the transmission without another word or gesture. 

Finn’s arm dropped to his side, holding the datapad. Rey did not look up, not wanting to see the hurt and betrayal in his eyes again.

“Connected by the Force, huh?” He sounded disgusted, which she had not entirely expected. “How do you know it isn’t all him? That he isn’t manipulating you?”

Rey looked up then, staring at her first true friend, knowing he saw a stranger when he looked at her now. She pushed herself to her feet, moving slowly so as not to startle Rose into shooting her, as the mechanic still looked entirely too willing to do. 

“What Luke Skywalker did on D’Qar, projecting an image of himself using the Force, it killed him. Snoke claimed it was he who bridged our minds, but Luke, as powerful as he was, could not do such a thing without becoming severely weakened. Luke and Snoke were a match in power. The connection we have, an ability to see one another across distances as vast as a star system with no effort, the ability to project thoughts as easily as I am speaking to you now, would take a massive amount of power for one person to exert, nearly constantly. If  _ he _ was manipulating the whole thing,  _ he _ would be dead by now.”

She looked from Rose’s astonished expression to Finn’s more skeptical, raised eyebrows. “It frightened Master Skywalker when he realized what we could do. And it frightened Snoke to the point that he tried to kill me and Ben prevented him. No one being has created whatever this is, only the Force could bind us like this. I cannot walk away from it, Finn. We will only be pulled together, again and again, until we accomplish whatever it is we are meant to do.”

_ “Stirring speech,”  _ Ben said in her mind, his voice reverberating through her, every nerve tingling with his approval.  _ “But you’re wasting your time. It’s like explaining space travel to a fish. It is beyond his comprehension.” _

His disdain for Finn would get old, but for now Rey said nothing.

“I don’t understand,” Finn said, the hostility fading from his stance, the look in his eyes softening. “But I’ll try, Rey. Just don’t ask me to trust him. And I hope whatever it is the Force wants, you figure it out soon.” With that he turned away and went back to the cockpit, Rose following behind him.

Rey waited until the cockpit doors closed to slump backward, feeling more spent than she ever had after a day of scavenging. Having emotional connections to people was a lot more work than she had ever expected it would be. The life of a hermit scavenger was far simpler. She began to understand the appeal of Luke’s withdrawal from the entire galaxy.

_ “He was a coward,”  _ Ben said dismissively.  _ “He ran away from a fight because he didn’t think he could believe in his principles anymore. He was weak.” _

Rey rolled her eyes and punched in the code to enter the cargo area again. The moment she stepped inside she pointed a finger at Ben. “He was  _ not _ weak. He did what he thought was best. Besides, he managed to fool you into thinking he came to face you. That’s something.”

Ben scoffed and leaned back in his chair, while Cairn blinked awake from a nap and looked between them. 

“What’s going on?” Cairn asked, covering a yawn with his fist. “Are we arguing about something?”

Rey shot him an annoyed look and changed the subject. “I spoke with Leia. We’re bringing you in and she will determine what happens next.”

“ I doubt that,” Ben said evenly, crossing his arms and cocking an eyebrow at her. “No one in your precious little band of rebels will have any idea what to do with us. We are worthless to the First Order and holding us will only make them more vulnerable. They will have to be on guard against the First Order coming for me, likely a more wanted fugitive than even you right now, but unable to trust that we will not stab them when their backs are turned. Organa’s resources are already stretched too thin to have to deal with keeping a high profile prisoner. She will either demand our execution or immediate banishment to some place where we will lack the ability to get off-world on our own.”

Cairn chuckled. “The future is bright before us, Master.”

Ben’s lips thinned in a way that made her think of Leia’s similar expression in the holo’. Did he even know how much he sometimes looked like his parents?

“Don’t call me that,” he said, voice hollow and eyes darkening. “I am master of nothing anymore. I failed the Knights of Ren. I lost the First Order at the very first challenge presented to my rule. I will not answer to a title that I have no right to bear.” 

Cairn’s ears went flat against the back of his skull and his eyes narrowed. “I don’t think--” 

“That’s right,” Ben interrupted smoothly. “You don’t. And I wouldn’t bother thinking of anything other than how we hope to proceed after the Resistance realizes they can do nothing with us.”

“You could help them,” Rey ventured, stepping closer to the pod. “You could give them information about the First Order’s bases, weapons, and operatives.”

“And then what? All twelve rebels, with Organa leading the charge from a hoverchair, will attack?” He raised his eyebrows skeptically at her. “They have been crushed. Maybe if they still had the full power of their armada and people, they could use the information, but by the time they amass a new group of suicide-seeking renegades, any information I gave them would be too old to be of value.”

“He has a point,” Cairn said, unhelpfully cheerful. “It took the Resistance years to build up to what their greatest strength was, and then only hours for the First Order to undo that.”

“Then help them another way,” Rey said, brushing aside their arguments with a gesture. “Join them. Help bring others to the cause. Find ships, volunteers, munitions. You are both skilled warriors and you understand the enemy. You know where the weaknesses are to exploit. It would only take a few small victories to bring more people to the fight.”

Cairn outright laughed, the sound husky and without humor. “I  _ like _ her optimism.” He shook his head and continued while Ben sat silently. “What do you want us to do, little one? Perform daring feats of sabotage to key bases? Slice into their computers and reveal their dastardly plans to all? There may be small victories in that, but also great risks.”

“And we still have the problem of your rebels trusting us enough to give us ships and weapons,” Ben pointed out, shaking his head and closing his eyes. “I don’t understand what you thought would happen. I knew surrendering to you would buy us our lives and a little time to figure out our next move. But that is all, Rey. I am not changing sides. Nor am I interested in becoming a martyr for Organa’s cause. She has enough of those already, doesn’t she?”

Stung, Rey took a step backward, her chest tightening until she realized she’d forgotten to breathe. They were both right, of course. They were high-profile prisoners with almost no value. Taking them to Leia now might be handing them their death sentences, or forcing them into exile. And whatever Ben Solo’s fate, Rey knew she would be tied to it. 

She lowered herself to the floor and leaned against a crate of food supplies, her mind whirling. She felt lost within a world she did not understand, even after she felt such clarity only days before, flying the  _ Falcon _ across the galaxy after what had felt like a successful rescue mission of Leia and Finn, and all that remained of the Resistance fighters. Things were clear then. She’d turned down Ben’s offer to rule the galaxy, fled with her integrity intact, and then….

Things were so  _ unclear  _ now.

She crossed her legs and closed her eyes, resting her forearms along her thighs, focusing only on her breathing, searching for the inner balance she had lost.


	12. What Might Have Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo shows Rey his vision of what would have happened, had she just taken his hand.

Kylo let her meditate in peace for a time, reining in as much of his thoughts as he could to avoid disturbing her. Cairn watched her for awhile, then shrugged and went back to sleep. The Trianii could sleep anywhere, which had once annoyed Kylo in their younger days. 

Rey’s expression gave everything about her emotions away, without him having to access their link. She strove for calm, her body relaxed and her mouth still, but her eyebrows were drawn together, leaving a wrinkle just above the bridge of her nose. She was trying too hard, because the peace she sought remained elusive. She didn’t understand how she could see and hope for things that were clearly right, in her mind, only to have them dismissed in a few moments of conversation Kylo and Cairn. 

_ What would have happened, _ she asked, her mind tentatively brushing against his,  _ if I would have taken your hand in the throne room? _

Kylo’s eyebrows shot upward.  _ That is an interesting question. Having second thoughts? Regrets? _

_ No. _ She actually smiled, though her eyes remained closed.  _ But I wonder how well thought-through your plan was. What did you intend to happen if I agreed to taking your path? _

While their bond let many things flow easily between them, Kylo found it relieved him that she could not see everything, not when he chose to keep certain things to himself. But now, with her asking, he contemplated the benefit of lowering those shields a little more. He might be able to reveal some without revealing all. Perhaps, though she claimed she did not regret turning away from him, her curiosity might bring her closer to his side.

_ It started with the vision I had when we touched hands, while you were with Skywalker. You claim to have seen my fate, but I saw yours, fighting beside me. _

_ We did that already, _ she reminded him, a trace of humor in her words. But more came to him than that. Rey felt deeply about their shared battle, almost as awed by the way their thoughts and movements flowed in the midst of danger as he was. Even now, she did not understand the level of connection it would take any two other beings to come close to fighting with that kind of harmony against those sorts of odds. 

_ It wasn’t just that fight I saw, _ he told her.  _ There were more, each like the other, the images changing in my mind too rapidly for me to count. In all of them, we stood together, guarding each other, facing countless enemies. _

_ That sounds like a pretty terrible way to live, actually. _ The honesty in those feelings caught him off guard. What he saw as beautiful, she saw as terrible?  _ To forever be fighting, to never have peace, what sort of life would that be? _

He considered this at face value, pushing aside the electrifying feelings of fighting as partners, and could understand. For one unused to being a warrior, war would indeed sound endless and exhausting. 

_ It would not always be fighting,  _ he told her.  _ Let me show you. _

_ He closed his eyes and found her in the darkness between them, sitting in her meditation pose, but looking up at him. Kylo held out his hand and she took it, standing next to him. Here, in this strange space of their shared bond, he could almost feel her. But that was not the reason for this exercise. _

_ “I want you to see it, as I did,” he told her, his voice not echoing as it would in an empty room, but laying heavily in the air. He turned and gestured into the void and there, suddenly, was his dream.  _

_ They stood on the bridge of a Destroyer, but one more elegant and less cold than the First Order favored. He wore black, as was customary, except for his cloak, with a red lining, reminding all of his power over death. She stood in clothing similar in color to her desert clothing, cream-colored robes, a lightsaber at her belt. Together they flew through the stars, stopping at one world after another, descending with their legions to create order from chaos, entering government buildings to mete out justice upon corrupt bureaucrats, watching as entire crowds of citizens knelt before them in fear and awe. Benevolent but powerful rulers, demanding order, punishing the unjust. _

_ Rey’s hand moved in his grasp, her fingers interlocking with his. He looked down at her, surprised and hopeful that she could see the perfection in the vision he conjured before them. _

_ But her eyes were wet and her cheeks pale. “Let me show you what I see,” she whispered, tugging him further into the vision, taking him into the streets of his conquered worlds. They walked through what looked like orderly houses, but when she pushed a door open he saw children cowering away from a drunken father. She walked further and opened another door, showing him a Stormtrooper pressing a rifle into the chest of an unarmed woman.  _

_ He followed Rey into alley ways, swept clean of filth, but saw starving people going through bins looking for scraps of food.  _

_ And he knew that she did not manipulate what he created in his mind so much as show him the faults even he knew would be there. _

_ “Complete order and control over an entire galaxy is impossible, even with an entire army, even with your abilities,” she said, raising a hand to dismiss the conjured vision, leaving them in darkness again. “People will still abuse their authority and your trust. You cannot be everywhere at once, Ben. Those you leave in power in your absence, what kind of people will they be? The people who seek out power abuse it. Even I know that, and I’m from Jakku. And people who live in fear can never be happy, never feel free. They will always wish to rise up against you.” _

_ He shook his head and pulled his hand from hers, crossing his arms over his chest. “But the order we could create, Rey, would be better than the chaos the systems live in now. Nothing gets done when a group of people are faced with a decision. Look at the debate you had with that Stormtrooper and the mechanic. They would have denied you the ability to do what you knew to be right.” _

_ Rey sighed and looked around the darkness. “I think there is a time for a decisive action to be made without taking the time to talk about it. But things like that have consequences. My friends will never look at me the same way again. I think, mostly, people should govern themselves.” _

_ “Chaos. Politicians. Nothing will ever be done. Nothing of value.” He shook his head and moved away a step. “The Old Republic, the New Republic, both failed because of these things.” _

_ “Both failed because of power-hungry beings,” Rey corrected. “And I don’t just mean the Sith or the politicians. Master Skywalker had a point when he told me the Jedi were at the height of their power when Darth Sidious rose. The Jedi had too much power and the Force sought balance.”  _

_ “And you want to be just like the old Jedi?” he asked. _

_ “No. But I don’t want to be like the Sith, either.” She stepped towards him and laid her hand on his shoulder. “And from what I saw, neither do you.” _

She withdrew from their shared space and he pulled away as well, back in his seat in the cramped escape pod, looking at her through the windows. She sat by crates, her eyes open and watching him.

“Ahem.” Cairn cleared his throat loudly, bringing both of their eyes to him. “I appreciate that you two have a lot to talk about, but the effect you’re having on the atmosphere is disconcerting to those of us who are also sensitive to the Force.” He raised both hands when Kylo narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t have any clue what was going on, just that there was a lot of emotion behind it. Made me very uncomfortable.” He glanced at Rey and gave her crooked smile. “Whatever it is you two have going between you, it’s powerful. And unsettling. Please stop.”

Kylo felt mortification rolling off of Rey in waves, but she only nodded and went back to her meditation, closing her eyes and breathing slowly. 

“What exactly were you doing?” Cairn asked in a hushed voice. “I could’ve cut the tension with my ‘saber, but you both looked as peaceful as kits.”

“Just talking,” Kylo said, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “And we will leave it at that.”

At least he had refrained from going further into his dreams of Rey. He doubted she was ready for anything more.

***

Rey spent the rest of the trip in the hold with the prisoners, and neither Finn nor Rose came to check on her. She knew she ought to take a turn in the cockpit but doubted either of them wanted to speak with her or see her at present. It would be better for everyone if she stayed put. It did not take long to arrive Birren, where Leia had stayed after sending everyone out on their different missions. She had only kept the droids and Poe Dameron with her. 

They were hidden, in a bunker beneath a forest, hundreds of miles from the closest city. Leia told them the bunker belonged to an old friend, now gone, who had given her the access codes in case of an emergency.

Rey felt them come out of hyperspace and she sighed, knowing the real difficulties would now begin. If Ben and Cairn were her prisoners, she doubted they would be civil to anyone else. And Poe Dameron, she already knew, had a mouth on him. 

“It will be good to stretch after being stuck in this thing for hours,” Cairn said, his tone light and friendly. If she didn’t know he was a Knight, Rey thought she would have liked him a great deal more. She wondered what he was like when Luke found him and decided to train him. Would Luke have appreciated his humor or found it unbecoming a Jedi?

“Do you think it would be too much to ask,” Rey said, trying to match his tone, “for you two to be as polite as possible to the others? They’re already going to be uncomfortable with this.”

Ben stared at her, unresponsive, and Cairn only grinned. She sighed and rubbed her temples with both hands. “This is going to be wonderful.”

The ship’s comms came on. “We’re landing. When we touch down, we’ll come help you with the prisoners.” It was Rose’s voice, sounding much calmer than the last time Rey heard it. 

“What does she think she’ll be helping with, exactly?” Cairn asked, his deep-throated chuckle sounding almost like a growl. 

Rey stood and went to the button, her hand hovering over it. “I’m going to push this when we land. If you want to avoid smashing into the ground, you should probably be prepared to lower yourself the same way you got in.”

Ben nodded and she sensed his mind reaching down to the ground, preparing to lower the escape pod. When Rey hit the button, the pod hovered in the air a moment before Ben took it all the way to the level ground. Rey jumped down, landing on top of the pod, before sliding down the side to the ground. The doors to the escape pod opened and Rey braced herself, focused more on the Knights than her surroundings. 

Ben stepped out first, rolling his shoulders back, his gloved hands loose at his sides. Cairn moved to stand beside him, stripping his black cloak off as he took in their surroundings. 

They had landed in the forest, Rose tucking the ship beneath a large stand of trees taller than Rey knew trees could grow. The air was humid and a sun shone brightly down, making the day warm. There was no sound in the forest except the leaves rustling in a breeze too high for Rey to feel. Their arrival likely silenced the wildlife for a time. 

“I told you we’d help,” Rose’s voice called from above. They looked up to see her standing at the edge of the cargo hold door. 

Rey smiled and shrugged, trying to pretend that everything was fine between them. “It was easy, don’t worry.”

The ramp for passengers and crew lowered and Finn came down, a blaster in his hands and a grim look upon his face. His jaw tight, his chin jutting forward, and his forehead deeply lined with his scowl. He nodded to Rey. “How do you want to do this?”

“Do what?” she asked, confused.

Rose came down the ramp, tugging a pack over her shoulder while holding Rey’s bag. She actually came all the way to Rey, not hesitating, though she avoided even looking at the Knights of Ren. She held the pack out. “They’re your prisoners, right? So what do you want to do with them?”

Rey took the bag and slung it over her shoulder, feeling guilty for forgetting all about the Jedi text for the last several hours. “I suppose we take them into the bunker,” Rey answered. “If you’ll lead the way?”

Rose nodded and started down a tiny path, one which appeared to be a game trail, and Finn fell in behind her. 

Rey sighed and looked up at the two black-clothed males, each of them taller than her by a few hands, and realized how incredibly ridiculous it would look for her to attempt to escort them anywhere. Cairn’s smirk indicated his thoughts likely were on a similar line while Ben’s expression remained as impassive as ever. But she could feel his agitation through their link. Was it Leia he dreaded? Or just the humiliation of his surrender?

“Come on.” Rey gestured toward the path. “Might as well make a show of it.”

Cairn shrugged and went first, his cloak now hanging over his arm, allowing a long gray tail to whip freely behind him. Ben started to follow, but Rey matched her steps to his, walking beside him instead of behind. He said nothing about the gesture but shortened his long stride to make it easier on her. They moved at a quick pace, but his legs didn’t eat up the ground as quickly as they could have. They maintained enough distance between them that there was no chance of even his robes brushing against her. 

Rey looked up and around, hearing the birdsong begin above them, and the hum of insects. The forest teemed with life, filling her with energy, and she could not help smiling up at the trees.

“You smiled like that in the rain,” Ben said, and she turned to look at him in surprise. She didn’t realize he had been watching her as they walked, but his head was half-turned in her direction. Moving beside one another, not in a fight or marching towards certain doom, felt more normal than Rey expected. It was as though they had always walked together, side by side.

Perhaps in a way, they had. If Ben’s power growing really had produced a similar, opposite power in her, they had been moving in tandem for a long time without even knowing it. 

“You saw that? The rain?” she asked.

“I felt it.” His right hand came up and he moved his gloved fingers together. “It was like I was standing in it.” He shrugged and lowered his hand again. “How did you live on Jakku for so long when you have such a craving for life? A barren desert cannot compare to trees and rain.”

She tipped her head to the side, looking at him from the corners of her eyes. “I think that is the first time you’ve asked me a question when there’s nothing in it for you when I answer.”

His face turned stony once more and he turned away, looking ahead at Cairn’s back. But he surprised her when he said, “There might be  _ something  _ in it for me.”

Rey would not have believed it if she did not feel the shift in the power around him, but Ben Solo had just come as near to joking with her as he ever had. The man could use sarcasm like a well-honed weapon, but it always lacked any humor. But here was a trace of it at last.

She decided not to make a big deal out of it. “I didn’t really know what I was missing on Jakku. But there is life there, if you know where to look. There are these flowers that grow in the canyons one week out of the year. And there are creatures everywhere, hiding in the sand, even in the downed ships where I spent most of my days.”

“I‘ve seen more worlds than I can remember,” he said, his voice lowered so as not to carry to those on the path before them. “But I don’t think I ever paid much attention to trees or rain, except when it mattered to my survival.” 

Silence fell between them, but the tension in Ben’s presence eased, and before long Rose and Finn stopped before a large boulder. Finn slid a portion of the rock face to one side and Rose punched in a code. A concealed door slid open, revealing stairs below. Finn, still not turning, went down, and Rose hurried to keep up with him. Rey didn’t blame her for being skittish around Cairn. He looked every inch like a predator. 

Ben gestured for her to go first, the stairs too narrow for them both, and she went ahead. They went through another door requiring a different code and emerged into a very welcoming entry. The floors were a polished blue stone, the walls white with silver marbling, and the long, wide hall opened into several doorways.

“This is nice,” Cairn said, looking around with appreciation at the tall ceilings. “A luxury bunker. I should get one.”

Rose finally looked up at him, her eyes widening and her jaw popping open at Cairn’s brazen attempt at small talk. 

“It’s on loan,” Finn said, voice clipped. 

A door slid open down the hall and Poe Dameron stepped out, blaster in hand, his expression openly surprised. “Well, hello Kylo. We meet again. Glad I finally get to return your hospitality.”

Rey rolled her eyes and only just kept from cursing out loud. “Don’t answer him. Please. Just be quiet and let’s try not to kill each other in the first five minutes.”

Ben looked down at her, his nostrils flaring, and she knew that Poe Dameron would be a dead man if Rey was not the reason these two men stood staring at each other. She stepped forward, between her prisoners and the pilot. 

“Where does Leia want them to stay while they’re here?”

Poe didn’t look at her, keeping his eyes trained on his enemy. “Door on your right. Down the hall, third door on the left. She wants you to lock the door down and they aren’t to leave the room.”

Rey’s nod qas quick and not at all civil. She pointed to the door and raised her eyebrows at Cairn, who bowed almost mockingly before leading the way. Ben went next, and Rey followed behind them. She heard Finn and Poe speaking before the door shut.

“They’re really going to listen to her?” Poe asked.

“They have so far.” Finn sounded defeated, and it hurt to know it was her fault.

The door slid closed and the lights in the hall came on with a faint chiming sound. The place they were in could hardly be called a bunker. It looked more like what Rey imagined a palace would be like, with it’s beautiful stone walls and floor, intricate lighting, and even artwork hanging along the corridors. 

“Berrin is full of old money,” Ben said, answering her unspoken questions. “They keep to themselves, mostly. It was settled by royal families from two other planets, not all that long ago. Titles might not mean much in the galaxy at large, but here, blood and heritage mean something.”

Cairn opened the third door on the left and stepped inside, then made a pleased sound in the back of his throat. “The Resistance doesn’t seem to know the difference between a prisoner and an honored guest.” 

Rey stepped in and immediately saw what he meant. The room was spacious, with long, wide, plush couches in the center, a floor covered in cushions and giant pillows, and a large bed along the back wall. Another door likely led to a bathroom. Large screens on either side of the wall showed live images from the forest above, like windows. In this room, Rey would never know she was underground had she not walked down the long flight of steps herself. 

“I doubt this place has cells. If it did, I imagine Organa would’ve put us in them.” Ben came inside the doorway but no further. Rey tried not to fidget when she looked up into his eyes, ready to offer some useless command about staying put and out of trouble. 

But the expression he wore made the words die on her lips. Ben Solo, deep brown eyes staring down at her, looked  _ concerned. _ The expression was similar to the one he wore just before he took her to Snoke. 

He was worried about  _ her _ .

She wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse.

Rey said nothing, she only offered him a poor excuse of a smile, and carefully stepped around him to get out. She locked the door, because Leia wanted her to, but it was obviously meant to be a statement more than it was expected to be effective. The prisoners were still armed, they were powerful users of the Force, and only Ben’s word of honor kept them in check.


	13. The General's Decision

Rey found Poe standing outside the door he’d come through when they arrived. He leaned against the wall, as casually as if he were waiting for nothing more important than a breeze to float by. 

“Our guests comfortable?” he asked, surprising her with a wide smile, showing off a dimple in one cheek. 

“They’re where they’re supposed to be,” she answered slowly, hesitantly. While she instinctively liked the dashing pilot, admiring his skills in a cockpit if nothing else, this attitude surprised her. Especially after Finn and Rose’s reactions to her decision regarding Ben. It was also common knowledge that Poe had been tortured and interrogated by the First Order, and Kylo Ren pulled the information regarding BB-8 right out of Poe’s head. That memory of Snoke's painful invasion still haunted her.

He pushed himself to a standing position and she noted the blaster on his hip. He gave it a pat when he saw her eyes go to it. “It’s posturing. I tried to shoot that black-robed nightmare once and he froze the bolt in mid-air. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure if it came down to him or me, he’d win. Unless I was in an X-Wing.” He shrugged, as if the thought didn’t bother him much. 

“Aren’t you angry with me?” she blurted, not wanting to spend another moment wondering if she’d have his hostility to deal with at some point. “For abandoning my mission? For bringing him here?”

Poe cocked his head to one side and made a show of looking her over from head to foot. “Rey, I’ve decided I like you. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I’m also a guy who understands that sometimes you have to think for yourself, whatever the mission might be. I’ve made some bad decisions that way, but good ones too. Right now, the Resistance needs a miracle. We need something big and amazing if we’re going to keep going. I think Skywalker gave us a pretty good start, saving our hides the way he did. But we have to keep the momentum going if we’re going to bring others to the cause. The former Supreme Leader as our prisoner, or defecting to our side, will be a pretty big push.”

“We could make it propaganda whether he joins us or not?” Rey asked, her eyes widening. 

“Exactly. The way I see it, you’ve done us a favor. Unless he decides he’s done playing our game and massacres us in our sleep.” His grin turned into more of a grimace. He keyed in the code to open the door. “But I’ve got some security measures in place, if he decides to take that route.”

“Oh.” Rey bounced on the balls of her feet, looking into the doorway and down another long hallway. “Right. I go in now?”

“Yep.” He gestured down the hall. “All the way down the hall, turn right, down the steps. Doors are all open for you.” Poe didn’t move but after she stepped inside he activated the door to close and lock behind her. 

“Lovely.” Rey sighed and kept moving, trying to walk at a normal pace. But she both wanted to run down the hall to plead her case and drag her feet every step of the way. 

The hall had several doorways, which she imagined were part of Poe’s security measures. The flight of steps leading down made her feel more like she was in an underground bunker than the level above, even if they were made of the same smooth stone as above. She assumed being further underground meant Leia had greater access to other defenses. 

She came to the landing and stepped through a very thick doorway, the blast doors open wide for her. The room she entered was large, filled with computer screens cycling through data from around the galaxy. C-3PO went from one bank to another while the little R2-D2 unit and BB-8 were beeping and chattering at each other, both plugged into different feeds. From what she could pick up, they were searching for any unprotected feed mentioning the Republic, old allies of Leia’s, anyone who might have Resistance sympathies, and the movements of the First Order. The information would likely be compiled and presented to Leia in a way that would make more sense than what Rey could think of at the moment. 

Threepio looked up after a moment and saw her. “Ah, Miss Rey. Princess Leia is waiting for you in her chambers, just through the door on the right.” He gestured across the room and Rey nodded, finding it was best not to engage the droid in conversation when she had other things to do.

At the back of the room, there were two doorways. Rey went through the one indicated by Threepio and found herself in a room even more opulent than where she had left the Knights of Ren. The ceiling was white, the floors were covered in dark wood planks which shocked her desert-sensibilities, and the walls were decorated with artwork and view screens showing the surrounding forest. As especially large screen showed a beautiful lake with a small wooded island in the middle, the water gently lapping at its shores. 

“I have always loved lakes,” Leia’s voice said, startling Rey out of her inspection of the water. A chair sitting before the lake’s screen turned and Rey realized Leia had been sitting there all along. “Water has a calming effect. It is soothing. Life-giving. I can understand why, when Luke found the island you told me about, he simply stayed.” 

Rey swallowed and nodded, then came further into the room. “It was a beautiful place. It rained a lot.”

Leia sighed and tapped a small screen on the arm of her chair. That was when Rey realized it was not just a comfortable seat for the general, but a med-chair, made for transportation and health monitoring. When Leia moved her other hand, the chair hovered toward Rey, without making a sound. 

“Leia,” she said, stepping forward more quickly. “Are you ill?”

The general waved her hand dismissively. “I am infirm. Not quite the same thing. I am tired. Exhausted, really. My heart has been through more in these past weeks than it ought to have survived, both physically and emotionally. Poe and I thought it best that I remain here, monitoring and coordinating our people, where I might be out of the higher-stress situations. At least for a time.” Leia gestured to a chair and after Rey sat she maneuvered her hoverchair to sit across from her. “I am afraid when we last spoke I was very harsh, Rey. Though I stand by what was said, there were more diplomatic ways to say it.”

“I understand,” Rey said quickly, nodding. “And I’m sorry for the distress my decision caused.”

“I never answered your question, though.” Leia rested her elbows on the arms of the chair and tucked her hands in her lap. Her posture, more demure than Rey had ever seen her, served as a reminder that Leia was raised as royalty, and she could be the perfect image of a princess. “You asked if I would have ordered you to leave Kylo Ren to die. I have thought on it a great deal.” She closed her eyes and Rey could see the tightness around her eyes and in her jaw. The woman had been through hell, after all. 

“What did you decide?” Rey asked after the silence stretched between them. 

Leia shook her head, her eyes going to the screen with the lake again. “I decided that I have no right to make any decisions regarding the fate of Kylo Ren. He is no longer a threat to the Resistance, as he is without the power of the First Order. If pressed, I would say that this is now a Jedi matter, and as he has turned himself over to the last person to be associated with the Jedi faith, there is nothing left for me to do except offer you whatever support I can give.”

As unexpected as that pronouncement was, it also made Rey anxious. “A Jedi matter? But I’m not a Jedi.”

“Not yet.” Leia smiled and met Rey’s eyes again. “But you will be. And, as you pointed out, the Knights of Ren surrendered themselves to you. Not to the Resistance. And you have never truly been part of our movement, for all that you support us. You never swore an oath, bore a rank, or even completed a mission. You are a free agent, committed only insofar as you commit yourself.”

Rey sat up straighter, clenching her fists. “I’m with the Resistance! I want to help. I want to fight for the freedom of the galaxy.”

“I understand. And that is commendable. But your path may be different from mine, Rey. Instead of taking orders, perhaps it would be more appropriate for us to confer and work together. You are not a soldier. Jedi, by nature, are defenders of freedom and justice, proponents of mercy. You have those characteristics. You are courageous, but not exactly military-minded.”

Although Rey wanted to protest this, she could understand what Leia was saying. “But you need pilots,” she said, changing tact. “I’m a good one. And I’m fluent in many languages, spoken and technical. I could be useful.”

Leia’s chair moved closer, allowing Leia to reach out and put her hand on Rey’s arm, her expression turning almost maternal. “I know, Rey. And we will ask for your help more often than I like to think. I am trying to say that I think your focus ought to be less on the whole Resistance and more on your training. It is important that the Jedi return to the galaxy. As far as we know, you are all that is left. You must learn to use your skills. Train with them. Find others to learn with you. If the Resistance falls tomorrow, which it very well could given our numbers, there would be a new movement in time. That is the nature of politics, war, and government. There will always be those ready to stand and fight, even if it takes them time to gain strength. But if the ways of the Jedi are lost, who will restore them?”

Rey considered Leia’s words carefully, taking them apart, putting them together. “My first priority is my training,” she said slowly, “and then to help the Resistance where I am most useful.”

“Yes.” Leia gave her another pat on the arm and then sat back in her chair. “So my first order of business with the sole representative of the Jedi is to ask if we might obtain information from your prisoners.”

“Oh. You want to interrogate them?” Rey asked, tensing up again. 

“No. I want Poe to debrief them, with you present,” Leia corrected. “Personally, I do not wish to have anything to do with either of them. If they stay on their side of the bunker, and I stay on mine, I’d rather not even see them.”

Rey’s chest tightened. Was Leia rejecting her son? Even now, that he was so close to her? “What about Ben?” she dared to ask, her voice only a whisper. “You won’t see him?”

Leia shook her head, her eyes lowering before Rey could determine the emotion within them. “If the day ever comes that my son, Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, wishes to speak to me, I will see him. But now Kylo Ren is your prisoner. Nothing more.” Leia moved her chair back without another word on the matter. “You ought to rest. The rooms in the upstairs hallway are for your use. Poe will let you know when he’s ready to debrief your prisoners. Chewie is on his way back from Kashyyyk, where we hoped he would rally Wookie support, but he did not like the idea of me being without him at present. I will reassign Finn and Rose a task more suited to a two person team.”

Rey nodded and stood, realizing Leia would say nothing more about Ben. Maybe Rey could try again later. For now, she only hoped Leia’s rejection would not do greater damage to Ben Solo.

***

“This room is connected to the one next door,” Cairn said, going through readouts on a data screen. “Looks like more living quarters. This is just one wing of the underground compound. There are more bedrooms beneath us, in a similar wing. Kitchens. A data room. Common areas. This place is larger than I thought, and it goes much deeper, too.” 

“Barrin pockets usually go deep.” Kylo wasn't interested in blueprints. His mind stayed on Rey. While she likely couldn't keep him away if he wished to intrude on her meeting with Organa, he could sense easily enough she would not welcome his presence. 

He would let her have privacy this time. He cared little for what the general had to say. 

“What are your plans, Kylo?” Cairn asked. 

Kylo looked up at him from his seat on the couch. How long had it been since he sat on something more comfortable than a command chair? 

“I checked and there aren't any bugs in this suite,” Cairn assured him. “And since our jailor is gone, I thought I might ask.”

“We are wanted men by the government we gave our full support and loyalty to, Cairn. What pressing need do you have to be a free entity right now?” He shook his head and leaned his head against the back of the couch. “For now, we wait. Hux is remaking the First Order in his image. He commands more loyalty than ever. Our choices will be limited to either killing him and attempt to take his position or destroying the First Order, creating a new government to take its place. Either way, it will take time to plan our next move.”

“And why not take the time to relax here?” Cairn chuckled and his tail swished in a wide arc. “I've never known you be still for a long period of time, Kylo. You have always been...intense. Dedicated. But this girl, she changes everything, doesn't she?” 

Kylo looked up slowly, to see Cairn's green eyes piercing him. “You have felt her strength in the Force. You have witnessed the bond between us. What would you do?”

“Kidnap her to some distant moon and make her train until she became useful,” Cairn answered with a shrug.

“That  _ was  _ the plan. But she escaped. Twice.” 

Cairn sighed and went back to his data screen. “So the new plan is to let her do the kidnapping? Let her think she has the upper hand?”

“Yes. She is lost. Confused. You saw how quickly her hopes died. She doesn't have a plan. She lacks training and discipline. If I can win her trust, teach her, I can turn her.”

“I fail to understand why that is imperative. Make her your apprentice and she’ll kill you. Isn’t that what always happens to the Sith?” Cairn broke off, muttering to himself in his native tongue. “They've not patched their Resistance data to this bunker’s server. Shame.”

The door to the hallway opened and both knights came to their feet, a movement born of a great deal of habit. You never knew if the door opened to admit friend or foe, in most cases, and it was always better to be prepared for an attack. 

Rey walked in, stripping off her gloves and tossing them on the couch. “This room and the other two are ours. I’ll take the one in the middle. They all connect.” She walked over to a wall with a work of art and touched a small pad on the wall. The artwork slid aside to reveal a doorway. “There is a kitchen and some supplies. Another bedroom. This wing is self-sustaining.” Then she disappeared through the door and called back to them. “Commander Dameron will come with a droid to debrief you both tomorrow.”

Cairn and Kylo exchanged a look, then Cairn gestured for Kylo to follow while he sat back down at his screen.

Kylo went through the doorway into the next room, seeing another living area, a place for preparing food, and a doorway leading back into what must be another bedroom. He went that direction and stopped, leaning against the open portal, when he saw Rey standing in the middle of the floor, fiddling with the strap of her bag. 

“What did Organa say?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew Leia well. He inherited more than his father’s nature, after all. If their roles were reversed, he knew what he would do. He would command someone else to see to her. Sometimes, distance was best. He had no need to gloat over her, none to speak to her personally, and pretending that she somehow mattered to him at this point would be a lie. They were enemies. Opposing Dejarik pieces. Nothing more.

“She doesn’t want to see you,” Rey answered, turning to look at him. Her eyebrows were pulled tightly together, her hands tangled up in the strap of her bag. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. His shield had been constructed long ago and only hardened with each passing day. Feeling her presence during the attack on her ship had been a surprise and nothing more, he told himself firmly. “It’s of no consequence. Commanding generals rarely take the time to personally question prisoners.”

“But she’s your mother.” Rey shook her head and released the strap, holding her hands open wide in a helpless gesture. “She loves you.”

“No.” Kylo shook his head and stood straight. “She cared for her son. I am the enemy.”

Rey stared at him, her jaw actually dropping open, before she snapped her mouth closed and narrowed her eyes at him. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. If my mother were here, I wouldn’t care about the past. I don’t think I’d run to her with open arms, but I’d at least want to see her. Figure out what happened.”

“Leia Organa knows what happened,” Kylo said dismissively. “She doesn’t have any questions for me. What questions she does have are related to my knowledge of the First Order. Nothing personal.” He started walking around the room. It was smaller than the one she’d left him and Cairn inside, and lacked a little of the opulence. The room was likely meant for a favored servant, as it was off the kitchen. But there was still one screen showing a forest view, and a small couch and chair in the middle of the room, a large bed against the back of the wall, all in various shades of blues and greens. 

“It doesn’t seem right,” Rey said, dropping into the chair. She stood up again immediately and looked down at it, then sank back into the cushion with raised eyebrows. “This is the softest thing I’ve ever sat on.”

Kylo felt his lips twitch and had to remind himself to remain detached. “I would imagine so. Between Jakku and the ships you’ve been on, there hasn’t been much time for comfort or leisure.” 

“I guess you’re used to things being this nice,” she said, her eyes taking in the room again. “I lived in an old AT-AT from the time I was about fourteen. Before then, I slept in Unkar’s concession stand. Under one of the tables.” She pushed herself up from the chair and went to the bed. “But I guess you knew that. Having been in my head so much lately.”

Kylo watched her, tilting his head to one side as he puzzled over Rey. Despite her harsh upbringing, her lack of any true care, she had grown into a woman who exuded confidence, optimism, and light. She helped people without a thought for herself. The evidence of her concern for something as ridiculous as that little BB-8 droid, her willingness to join a cause that was not her own, proved her generous nature. Even now, the fact that she would stand in a room with him, after he had hunted her, interrogated her, turned her over to Snoke, and rejected her plea to stop the bombardment of the Resistance, showed she trusted easily, too. 

She sat on the edge of the bed and bounced lightly on it, a little smile on her lips. “How does anyone sleep on this?” She pushed off it and kept walking. “It’s just ridiculous, this much space for one person.”

“This is the kind of living quarters I grew up in. Not underground, of course.” Kylo looked around the room and put his hand on the back of the couch. “Until I was sent away to train.”

Her body stilled and he felt her curiosity prickling him across their link. That was when Kylo realized he had never talked about his life with her, never beyond telling her about Skywalker’s betrayal or the disappointment of Han Solo as a father. He did not speak of his past. Ever. Snoke’s decree that no one could even speak the name  _ Ben Solo _ kept him from having to remember the days before he became a Knight of Ren. 

Perhaps Rey’s continual use of the name had released a valve, allowing old thoughts and memories to leak free. He turned away from her and took several steps away. “I will take the other room. Cairn can stay where he is.” He stepped out the door and did not look back. 

Before he went through the door to his claimed chambers, he felt Rey’s presence reach out, brushing against his mind the way her hand might brush against his cheek. It was a soothing gesture.

He mentally pushed it away and closed the door.


	14. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You still need a teacher."

Rey dug through the cabinets of the kitchen, all of them climate controlled, reading the labels on different packages, trying to determine what combination of things would actually be good to eat. Everything sounded strange and more complex than necessary.

A faint chime sounded and she turned away from her search for food, confused for a millisecond. But without thinking, she reached out with the Force and sensed Finn on the other side of the hall door.

“Come in.” She’d programmed the door earlier to respond to typed commands, but also to her voice. It slid open to reveal her friend.

Finn stepped inside, looking around warily. “Are those two wraiths in here?” he asked.

Rey shook her head. “Just me.”

Finn came further in, moving slowly, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “Leia reassigned us. I told her I didn’t want to leave you behind. I figured you could use some help, with the prisoners. But the general is sending Rose, and she’ll go alone if she has to. I don’t think that’s a good idea, either.”

“Oh.” Rey looked down at the package in her hand and turned it over, pretending to study the incredibly detailed nutritional information. “You should probably go with her. I mean, Poe’s here, and Leia, and Chewbacca is coming back. Besides, I think Rose really likes you. She could use a friend.”

“Yeah.” Finn cleared his throat. “You know, she said something back on Crait, when she saved me. I've been thinking about it a lot. She said that we won’t win this war by fighting what we hate. It will be by saving what we love.” He finally came to the counter dividing the food preparation area from the sitting area. “I thought, for me, it would be you. I thought I’d save  _ you _ .” He met her eyes, pain evident in the strained smile on his face. “But every time I try to save you, you save yourself.”

She realized what he was saying and opened her mouth to answer, but his next words chased away her response.

“And you’re trying to save  _ him _ . At any cost.” Finn watched as she struggled to put words together, to deny the parallels he drew between their emotions, to laugh at Rose’s statement. But she couldn't do it. Living in solitary for most of her life, Rey knew next to nothing about deception, even the kind that might soothe a friend in a moment like this.

“Don’t worry about it, Rey,” he said at last, a tight smile turning his lips upward. “You’re a hero in my book. If that bastard doesn’t come around, I’ll be back to help you do what needs doing.”

Rey choked out a laugh. “Thank you, Finn." She hurried to change the subject, uncertain what to do with his hurt. "I’m afraid what needs doing right now is supper. But I’m not sure what to do with all this food. I don’t want to waste it, but I’m not certain I should worry about feeding my prisoners.”

Finn snorted and came around to her side of the divide. “They’re all grown up, Rey. Don’t worry about them. Let’s find something you’ll like.”

She relaxed and in a few minutes they were talking about their favorite foods while he helped her prepare a meal of fresh vegetables and a savory-smelling sausage. He even stayed to eat with her before showing her the dishwasher. Then Finn gave her a warm hug.

“Be careful, Rey,” he said, squeezing her tight. “I want you to stay in one piece.”

“You too, Finn.” She returned his embrace and walked him to the door, sealing it behind him with her personal code.

Then she turned and surveyed the large room, which felt empty and lonely to her now that Finn had gone. That much space should’ve been filled with members of the Resistance. Instead, she occupied it alone, with a Dark Side user of the Force on either side of her. 

She recognized Cairn’s presence before he even opened the door. He came into the room, nodded a greeting, then went to dig through the kitchen. That removed her concern about who fed who.

“Well, Lady Rey,” Cairn said, opening packages and laying them out. “What is on the agenda for the prisoners? Debriefing in the morning, then what?”

If she had expected all knights of Ren to be like their grim commander, she could not have been more wrong. 

“I’m not certain, actually. I’ve never had a prisoner before.”

He chuckled, now pulling out pans and utensils. “Good point. Might I offer suggestions?”

Rey came closer and slid onto a tall stool, facing into the kitchen. “Why not? You must have some experience.”

“Indeed.” His ears twitched at the same time he grinned. “Very well. I suggest you come up with a schedule, or else we will all become very bored, very quickly. I imagine you’re not used to sitting still? I’m not and I know Kylo will go mad if he’s kept contained too long.”

“I’ve never had to regulate my time much before. I woke up, went to work, traded anything I found, and went home again.” Rey thought for a moment. “We should exercise. Train.”

The Trianii nodded, tossing his food into a pan. “To start. Things to study would be good. I specialize in computers and data. I would rather be doing something useful, even if it’s for the enemy, then doing nothing.”

“Maybe you could think of us as temporary allies instead,” she suggested and he chuckled. “I’ll talk to Poe and see what we can do.”

“Kylo will need to keep his hands busy,” Cairn added, his eyes half-closing. “He prefers physical exercise above all. Sparring, especially.”

Rey shook her head and looked down at her hands, resting in her lap. “I’m sure you two can help each other with that.”

“I’m barely a match for him. You, I understand, present a challenge.”

That comment made her feel strange, though she knew it to be true. Despite his superior training, when it came to raw use of the Force, Rey could hold her own. “I don’t even have a lightsaber anymore.”

“So use sticks,” he said, shrugging. “And build a lightsaber. I know you still have the kyber crystal. I can sense it.”

“Really?” She’d left it in her bag, on the bed in her room. “I don’t know how to build a lightsaber.”

His ears went back and he sighed. “It’s a shame you don’t know  _ anyone _ with experience.” Then he reached down and unclipped his lightsaber from his belt. “Here. Look at mine. You’ve only ever seen the two, right?”

Rey nodded, gingerly taking the cylinder from his furred hands. She turned it over, examining the grip, the metal it was made of, and she felt his crystal’s energy, though it lay dormant in her hands. Not like the crystal in her lightsaber, which she felt pulsing every time she held it. 

“Where do I start?” she murmured.

“Your crystal will tell you,” Cairn answered. “But you should put those scavenger skills to use. I bet everything you need is in this place.” He took the lightsaber from her hands and the lifted his plate of food. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lady Rey.” He left the room and Rey felt a little less lonely than before.

***

Kylo stripped down to nothing to shower and sleep. He threw his clothes in a small ‘fresher, hoping after a cycle they’d no longer smell like he’d run for his life while wearing them.

He kept his lightsaber near at hand, out of habit, and laid in bed for hours, trying to clear his mind. 

“It’s interesting,” Rey’s voice interrupted his attempts at peace. “When we’re light-years away, you talk incessantly, but now that you’re in the next room over, you don’t say a thing.”

“You want to talk? Now?” He sat up, rubbing his temples. To his surprise, he could see her surroundings this time. It was as if he sat across the room from her, their rooms melting together. In her room, the light was on, in his, the only light came from the viewscreens of the forest. Rey wasn’t in bed. She was sitting on the floor, at the foot of her bed, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. 

“Why are you on the floor?”

“The bed’s too soft,” she said with a shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. The floor is a little better. But I can’t clear my head. I sensed you struggling to do the same.”

Kylo pulled his knees up to rest his forearms against them, letting his hands hang loosely. “There’s a lot going on.” He shrugged. “Betrayal, loss of companions, becoming a prisoner. And I must make plans for what comes next.”

“Next?” Rey leaned back against her bed and smirked at him. “Plotting your escape already?”

“No. You still need a teacher.” 

Rey pulled her blanket around her tighter. “I don’t want to rule the galaxy, Ben.”

“Not yet.” He shrugged and looked around the room, surprised by how seamlessly his bedroom melted into hers, causing their surroundings to appear as one place. “Can you see my room?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes. I'm not as curious about it as you, however. It could just be due to our proximity.”

“Mm.” Kylo thought it might have more to do with the near-constant use of their bond making it grow stronger. “You  _ do  _ need a teacher.”

“Maybe.” She looked down into her lap, her hair falling forward. She wore it loose, brushing against the tops of her shoulders. She held a book in her lap, her fingers tracing over the spine. He hadn’t noticed any books in her quarters, or anywhere else. They were considered to be collectors' items in most societies, as the fragile nature of pages and spines made them impractical for recording anything of value. “I just want to learn to use this power inside of me. These abilities I have, they are incredible. Sometimes, I think I know what I’m doing. I only have to concentrate, to think of what I want done, and it happens. Other times, I feel like the Force abandons me, pulling back, and I can’t grasp it. It’s as if it’s alive, and temperamental.”

“Sometimes you control it and others you feel yourself being pushed down a path you are not certain you even want,” he added, nodding slowly. He well knew the feeling. He also had a better understanding of why the Force worked the way it did, and how to call it back when the power pulled away. “There is much to learn. You have to exercise your body and mind, control your emotions or use them to manipulate the Force. Have you ever seen a sailing ship?”

Rey blinked at what must sound like an abrupt change in topic. “I’ve seen a sailing competition on the sand dunes,” Rey said, tilting her head to one side. “It’s not a very efficient way to travel.”

“But think of the sails, capturing the wind, twisting and filling with the air to propel the ships along.” Kylo used the palm of one hand to mimic a sail. “In some places, they have sailing ships going across water, only powered by the wind. But the ship isn’t at the mercy of it, because the sail turns to capture it, to be moved along, and a rudder is employed to direct the boat. The Force is a power similar to wind. We can’t control it, but we can harness it, we can turn it to our will, using our abilities. Like rotating a sail and a rudder to steer the boat the way we want to go.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “I think I understand. I shouldn’t fight against the Force, or bend it to my will, so much as harness it. Find the slipstream I need and use it.” She tilted her head to one side and regarded him silently, and Kylo held absolutely still under her inspection, his eyes meeting hers. “What else would you teach me?”

Kylo considered her question and what he knew about Rey. As he told Cairn, in many ways she had been defeated. She went looking for Skywalker to save the Resistance and instruct her. He was gone now. She hoped by rescuing Kylo that he would in turn fight for her cause. That would never happen. Organa had even let her down by effectively washing her hands of the situation. Rey’s friends no longer trusted her and had left on a mission without her assistance.

She was alone, as she had always been, with only one exception: she had Kylo Ren’s complete and undivided attention, both through their Force bond and physically as well. 

If he played his cards right, the odds were in his favor of making Rey an ally in his personal quest to restore order to the galaxy. But he would have to go carefully, because showing his hand too soon would only destroy whatever trust he had the chance to build. 

“I have been trained in the ways of the Jedi,” he reminded her. “Rejecting those teachings didn’t erase them from my memory. I can tell you everything Skywalker told me. I can teach you how to become a conduit for the Force without allowing it to use  _ you  _ up. I can teach you about lightsabers and why mind tricks work. I can show you how to interpret visions. We can harness your power and make it more effective.”

“No.”

Kylo tilted his head back, looking down his nose at her, surprised by her abrupt answer. He offered her exactly what she wanted, didn’t he? 

But Rey quickly came to her feet, the blanket falling to the floor, allowing Kylo to see that she had barely removed any of her wardrobe before sleeping. She wore her clothing from before, on Snoke’s ship. A cream colored tunic without sleeves, though the arm wraps were missing, and gray leggings. Her feet were bare. She held out the book to him. 

“Luke didn’t want me to continue the Jedi tradition. He wanted the Jedi to die, and their failures with them. I think, what I’d rather learn, is here. In this book.” She stepped forward, looking as if she would walk directly to him, before she stopped and blinked in confusion. “Oh. You’re not actually here. Hang on, I’ll be right in.” 

“Rey, I don’t think--” But the vision of her closed before he could put her off until tomorrow, or offer to come to her. He quickly calculated the likelihood of her waiting for him to open the door and realized she would just walk in. She knew he was awake and they had only just finished speaking. Her manners, though not entirely lacking, were not yet refined after years of solitary living in the Jakku wastes. 

He also wouldn’t have time to put on a pair of pants.

Given Rey’s reaction to his bare chest not to long ago, he doubted she would appreciate knowing he was even less clothed at the moment. 

His door wooshed open, as he knew it would, and Rey came straight inside as if they had not even paused in their conversation. “You won’t believe where this book came from, but I think you might have more luck with it than I’m having.”

“Rey, stop.” He held up a hand before she could get halfway across the room. “I don’t think now’s the time--” 

“Why? Neither of us is getting any sleep anyway.” She came another step, and Kylo shook his head.

“I’m not dressed,” he told her, at last making her pause. “And given your preferences for modesty, I am sure--”

“Right. Sorry.” Even in the dim light of his room he could see the red suffusing her cheeks, but the embarrassment rolling off of her in waves affected him strangely, mingling with his emotions and over-powering them, until he was blushing too. She backed up a step and then hurried out the way she’d come in.

Kylo sighed and scrubbed his hands through his hair. Why did she have to be so  _ innocent _ about everything? Especially when he knew, through a vision he did not have to elaborate on in his own dreams, how they were meant to be together. It was not as master and apprentice. The vision was closer to what he showed her, the two of them standing side by side, linked forever, as equal partners and companions. As _l_ _ overs _ .

But that would take time. And patience had never been his strong point.

He growled to himself and threw the sheets off, going to pull his clothing on. He debated getting fully dressed, down to the boots and gloves, but settled for hastily tucking in his shirt and throwing his thicker tunic on over it. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he took more than three steps barefooted, but hurrying after Rey felt more important than delaying over wardrobe choices.

He sensed she had not gone back to her room, but she sat on one of the couches in the common area, her embarrassment not lessened much. He went out to her, zipping his tunic closed, and she looked up only after he’d sat down in the chair across from her. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking back down to the book she turned over in her hands. “I don’t always think before I act. Unkar said it would get me killed someday. I guess it nearly has. A lot. I shouldn’t have come into your room.”

“Rey.” He spoke her name firmly, the demand that she meet his eyes obvious in his tone even if unspoken. When she did, he leaned forward and raised his eyebrows at her. “You needn't apologize to me. My concern was for you. I know I make you...uncomfortable. I saw no need to make it worse, so I warned you.”

She studied him, the pink blush staining her cheeks again. “I just don’t know what to do with you,” she whispered. “I don’t know who we’re supposed to be. We aren’t friends. We aren’t allies. We aren’t enemies. You aren’t even really my prisoner. We both know that’s a joke.”

He nodded slowly. “Then let’s start somewhere else. Tell me about that book.”

She looked down at it again but stopped, her eyes staying on his bare feet. He looked down at them too. There could be nothing intimidating about a man’s bare feet. They were long, pale from lack of exposure to any world’s sunlight, and not anything special. He looked at hers again, noting they were sun-kissed on top, though the soles looked paler. Her feet were small, like the rest of her, but even he couldn’t miss the callouses on the outside of her toes. Rey had made her livelihood by scuttling around old ships, climbing up inclines with nothing but the handholds and footholds she found in the wrecked hulls. 

She finally cleared her throat and picked up the book again. “I’m having a hard time reading it. The dialect isn’t one I’m familiar with, and it looks like it’s been handwritten, but I’ve recognized a few things. The word for  _ balance _ is in here, several times. But it’s an old book Master Skywalker found, the earliest Jedi texts. I think, maybe, they have things in them that would be more useful than trying to learn the things he didn’t want to teach me.”

“May I see it?” he asked, holding out his hand, covering more than half the distance between them. 

She considered his bare hand for a moment, then reached forward to give him the book.

Their fingertips brushed.

They were thrust into a vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spent waaaaaaay too much time giggling over Reylo memes today. I love this pairing. I love how the Reylo shippers started in a lifeboat and now we're a stinkin' battleship cruiser. Reylo forever!


	15. The Vision and The Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His hand tightened around hers. “Something’s coming.”
> 
> She turned and looked back into the vastness of space and she saw it too. First one ship, and then many. All of different sizes, models, and ages. Some looked ancient, others brand new. They teemed with life; she could feel the Force surrounding thousands of life forms, their signatures throbbing with energy and expectancy.
> 
> “Who are they?” she asked, wishing she could step closer, peer inside.
> 
> “They’re looking for us,” he said, and when she looked up at Ben, his eyes were narrowed and his brow drawn down. “Can you feel it?”

_ Rey gasped when the world spun around her, light and darkness colliding into bursts of color. She tried to stand but realized she already was, and the lights changed into the vastness of space, only pinpricks of color in a black void. She gasped for air, trying to raise her hands, but realized one of them was being held in a firm grip. Rey turned and looked up at Ben, standing next to her, his eyes scanning the stars before them. _

_ “Everytime we touch,” he muttered, “the world comes crashing down around us.” _

_ She wondered if he was joking. He had a sense of humor, she was certain, but this would be an odd time to show it. “What’s happening?” _

_ “A powerful vision. It will pass. This is one of those instances when the Force takes you and you ride it out.” He shook his head. “They don’t happen often. It’s only happened once before, to me.” _

_ Rey’s mind went back to Maz’s castle, when she first heard Luke’s old lightsaber call to her. “Once for me, too. But then, it wasn’t clear and quiet. It was confusing. Emotional.”  _

_ His hand tightened around hers. “Something’s coming.” _

_ She turned and looked back into the vastness of space and she saw it too. First one ship, and then many. All of different sizes, models, and ages. Some looked ancient, others brand new. They teemed with life; she could feel the Force surrounding thousands of life forms, their signatures throbbing with energy and expectancy.  _

_ “Who are they?” she asked, wishing she could step closer, peer inside.  _

_ “They’re looking for us,” he said, and when she looked up at Ben, his eyes were narrowed and his brow drawn down. “Can you feel it?” _

_ Rey reached out with the Force, closing her eyes and sending her mind toward the ships. Ben was right. Every being on those ships had images in their heads, images of Rey in white and Ben in black, some of them larger than life. They knew her and they knew him. They were coming to them.  _

_ “What does it mean?” she asked softly, opening her eyes to see the ships coming closer, moving slowly through space. _

_ “I don’t know.” _

The Force, evidently, felt they’d seen enough. Rey blinked and found herself sitting on her chair again, holding a book, her fingertips just barely in contact with Ben’s. He stared at her, his expression the same as in the vision. She doubted he felt confused often.

He tugged the book out of her grasp but reached out quickly, with his other hand, to wrap it around hers. She held still, her breathing suddenly shallow and quick. Rey half expected to be thrust into another vision, but this time, they remained where they were, staring into each other’s eyes. 

“I think we had better study this book carefully.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as he had in their vision, then released it to look down at the volume in his other hand. “It may hold some of the answers we seek.”

Rey could only nod and sit back, feeling drained. She watched him open the book and leaf through it, stopping to occasionally study an image. Her cheeks warmed again, when she thought of the way she had burst into his room, ready for a full discussion on her book, in the middle of the night, and him in bed. But she had no idea he would be  _ naked. _ She’d never slept that way. It still felt odd to remove more than her boots for a night’s rest. And it was cold here. Colder than Jakku had ever been. Wasn’t he cold? 

His bare feet, planted firmly on the stone ground, also gave her pause. She had never thought about him having feet inside those boots. It was ridiculous, of course, to give so much thought to them now. But even seeing him without his shirt on, in both their communications where that was so, had never really helped her grasp how fully human he was. 

His dark hair was tousled, hanging across his forehead in a mess of waves, and circles had appeared under his eyes. The more time she spent studying him, the more she saw Ben Solo. Kylo Ren was a frightening creature in a mask, hunting her relentlessly. But this man, studying an ancient book, sitting quietly across from her in a dimly lit room, was real, human, and someone she longed to trust. 

“We ought to have Cairn scan this. He can run linguistic programs to help decipher some of the words and language patterns. Then we can determine what it says. But here, on this page.” He held the book out to her, open on a drawing of what looked like suns and moons at various eclipse-like stages. “These are the symbols of the Light and Dark. You can see how they’re shown, over-taking one another. Skywalker taught a lesson once with figures like these. Showing how a being could be more of one than the other. He used to explain that a Jedi’s responsibility was to constantly push back the Darkness, striving only for light to live within.”

“But that contradicts the very idea of balance,” Rey said, reaching out to tap the only circle on the page that appeared to be equally divided. “And isn’t that what the Force wants? Balance?”

“Yes. Like your story of Goddess Life and God Death,” Ben said, closing the book and handing it back to her. “Which is why you and I are here. Snoke was right about that. My powers grew too quickly, and balance was lost. Now, here you are. My opposite and equal. You cannot have one without the other. Life begets death, the decay left behind by death begets life.”

Rey shook her head and took the book in both hands, running her thumbs across its cover. The emblazoned beam of light, like a sword, on the cover took her attention for a moment. “But that doesn’t seem right, either. Where was the balance when Darth Vader destroyed the Jedi of the Old Republic?”

“Old masters remained, even if they kept hidden,” Ben said with a shrug. “Yoda. Kenobi. Then Luke Skywalker rose and the old masters died. There is always a balance, even if we can’t see it.”

“Light and Dark, Death and Life, the one constantly giving way to the other.” Rey sighed and closed her eyes. “It doesn’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. I only have more questions.”

“Those are the first steps towards learning anything,” he told her, his voice grown softer than she’d ever heard it. “Realizing you don’t know enough.” He shifted and when she opened her eyes he stood before her, holding out a hand.

It struck her how often he reached for her. In the forest, with his mind on Starkiller, his words in the midst of battle, through their visions, and in Snoke’s throne room. Then through their bond, as soon as he realized he could control it, he reached for her. 

Rey took his hand, allowing him to help pull her up from the chair. She didn’t need the assistance. It was silly. But for all the times he’d reached, she thought this would be an easy moment to allow him a small victory. He released her hand as soon as she stood balanced on her own two feet. 

“You should get some sleep,” he said, voice still quiet. 

“I hope I can.” The questions were still swirling in her mind, about their shared vision, the book she held, his offer to teach her, and questions about Ben Solo. “Good night, Ben.”

Since that first time, when she spoke to him after the battle on Crait, he had never again flinched at her use of his given name. He never corrected her. But tonight, she saw a flicker in his eyes. She could not name the emotion, but she realized he must respond on some level when she called him that. 

“Good night, Rey.” He took a step back but remained still as she left the room. 

Rey closed her bedroom door behind her and leaned against it, her thoughts and emotions a confusing jumble she didn’t have the energy to sort out at the moment. She went to her spot on the floor, wrapping her blankets around her again, and laid down, hoping sleep would come. 

***

Kylo might have been annoyed with the debriefing had he not been amused by Rey’s high anxiety over the situation. She worried too much about his behavior. Worried he would suddenly turn back into the vengeful Lord of Death and cut Poe in half for even daring to breathe wrong. 

The truth was, Kylo understood men like Poe Dameron, and he had nothing personal against the man. He was a good pilot, a commanding officer who took risks, and he didn’t show fear in the face of an enemy. If he didn’t have a cocky mouth on him, he would’ve been good officer material for the First Order. But he fit in with the Resistance with all his bravado in the face of certain failure. 

The little droid, the BB-8 unit, had come with the pilot to record all of Kylo’s answers to the questions asked. But Poe and Kylo both know the exercise was almost pointless. Any information Kylo had been privy to, Hux would know as well, and do what he could to change anything that would give Kylo an advantage. 

Rey had given her book to Cairn, although with great reluctance, that morning while they ate breakfast. He’d promised to scan each page carefully and deliver it back to her before it was his turn to be debriefed. 

“I can’t think of anything else at the moment,” Poe said, after nearly two hours of sitting in a small, office-like space with Kylo and Rey. “We’ll check out the codes, see if any of them still work, and update our data to reflect the bases you’ve told me about.”

A stray thought came to Kylo and he wondered if he ought to share it. Why not? 

“There is one more thing,” he said when Poe looked down at his notes on his datascreen. “I had recently learned something about Snoke.”

Rey and Poe looked up at him, the pilot concealing his surprise better than Rey that any information would be volunteered. “Like what?” he asked. 

Kylo folded his arms and leaned back slightly, watching Rey as he spoke. “He kept artifacts, stolen from Jedi and Sith holdings and tombs. I haven’t been able to check the location myself yet, but I believe he found the collection to be valuable. I can give you the coordinates. It’s on a small moon, part of a larger system on the Outer Rim. Uninhabited, mostly.” He spouted off the coordinates and the droid beeped cheerfully that he’d recorded the information.

“That will wrap this up then. If you’ll send your friend this way, I’d appreciate it.”

Kylo nodded and stood, leaving the room. Cairn waited in the hall, datapad and Rey’s book in hand. “Finished already?” Kylo asked. 

“It’s not a long book. But I’ve got the linguistics programs running on the datapad. It might be awhile.” He handed over the datapad but kept the book, obviously to honor his word and hand it to Rey the moment he saw her. “Any trouble with the debriefing?”

Kylo shook his head. “Tell them what they want to know. If they cause trouble for Hux, it will only help our cause.”

“Of course.” Cairn nodded deeply and strolled into the room without another word. 

Kylo hoped Cairn continued to be cooperative. They had been friends, once, as close as brothers. But the years of following Snokes orders had kept them apart and changed their paths. Kylo had been groomed to act as a stand-in for Lord Vader, while Cairn was used as an assassin and slicer for missions requiring stealth. 

Kylo went back to their suite of rooms, tossing his cloak onto a chair the moment he arrived. He’d dressed for the debriefing, wanting to remind Poe Dameron of who he was dealing with, But that pilot, with his confidence and hope, never even blinked. Kylo stripped his gloves off, too, and sank down onto one of the couches to see what the linguistics program had revealed so far. 

Two standard hours later, the door swooshed open and Rey came in, Cairn with her, talking animatedly. “Everyone thought it a backwards system, but when I saw how much tech they had, much more advanced than ours, I knew I had to get back quickly to report my findings. But the news of Snoke’s death was broadcast as I was preparing to disembark.” 

“That’s incredible,” Rey murmured. “I think it will be of great use, too.” The admiration and gratitude in her voice was echoed in her Force signature, which irritated Kylo. Nothing he had shared elicited that kind of response from her. 

“Your book is decoded,” he said, bringing their attention to him. He held the datapad out to her. “And it’s interesting reading. It would appear that the original Jedi and the order as it stood when Vader destroyed it had vastly different viewpoints. On many things.” 

She came forward and took the datapad, not even batting an eye when their fingers brushed this time.Then she surprised him by sitting next to him on the couch, close enough their thighs nearly touched. Every day, she came closer, trusted him more. But it was a fragile trust, easily broken.. 

Rey started scanning through the words on the screen, her brow furrowed. “These are the writings of a man named Jolee Bindo.”

“Discovered by Luke Skywalker on Kashyyyk,” Kylo told her, leaning back on the couch and spreading his arms wide across the back. “Where Bindo spent the last of his days.”

“This can’t actually be his book. The dates are ancient.”

“Four-thousand years.” Kylo looked to where Cairn was already going through the cabinets in search of food. “How old would you say the book was, Cairn?”

“Maybe a couple of hundred years old. Well-preserved, though.”

“So someone else copied his works at some point?” Rey continued scanning the words on the screen. “He left the Jedi order because he felt they denied knights the very things most sacred to the Force. But he didn’t become a Sith Lord, either.”

“He became a hermit.” Kylo chuckled at the irony. “Maybe that’s where Skywalker got the idea.”

She shot him an irritated glance, but leaned back against the couch and kept reading, not even noticing her shoulders now nestled beneath his arm. “Better a hermit than a power-hungry tyrant.” 

Cairn started to laugh but covered the sound with a cough. “Anyone else hungry yet?” 

“Yes, please.” Rey’s eyes were already feasting on the little screen before her. “He felt the Order betrayed him and itself, continually focusing on politics and less on emotions. They were so worried about protecting their Jedi code that they didn’t worry enough about the Jedi slipping through the cracks. This was four- _ thousand _ years before the fall of the Empire.”

“It doesn’t sound like they ever got any better,” Kylo said, watching her face as she read. Her eyebrows were drawn tightly together, her lips slightly pursed, and every muscle in her body remained taught as she read, devoting her full attention to her new knowledge. 

“You should’ve seen the first Jedi temple,” Rey told him, scrolling further down on the datapad. “It was inside an old, dead tree on an island full of rock huts. Nothing amazing. But I’ve seen holos of the temple on Coruscant. Something big changed, for the Jedi. It looks like it was a long time before Palpatine ever came to power.”

“The Jedi temple in Coruscant was actually built over a Sith shrine,” Cairn chimed in from the kitchen. “Master Skywalker thought that was why the Dark Side was able to cloud the abilities of the Jedi Council. It sort of leached up, through all the layers that had been built on top of it for centuries.”

“You’re saying that the desire for power and influence isn’t only a Sith trait,” Kylo told her. “You realize that, don’t you? That is what changed for the Jedi. They went from being scattered throughout the systems, following their individual codes, to forming an organization with a hierarchy and enforcement of only one code.”

Rey sighed and pulled her legs up onto the couch beneath her, crossing one ankle over the other, then leaned her head back to close her eyes. He felt her stiffen at first, when the back of her head met his arm, but she didn’t pull away. That was progress.

“I think it must be a weakness that most beings face. Power means you are in control of your life and you have influence over others. It’s how you wield that influence that matters. But maybe the Jedi lost sight of that. Whoever this Bindo person was, he wrote a lot about balance. I need to compare the words to the illustrations, to be sure I’m understanding this correctly.” She reached into the large pocket on the outside of her jacket, pulling out the book. With the datapad in her lap, she gently turned the brittle pages, looking through the illustrations carefully. 

Kylo watched her finger, so much slighter than his, run down each page before gently lifting it to turn to the next. Her callouses there were beginning to fade, since she wasn’t climbing through wreckage and handling mettle components anymore. Her life had changed drastically, but she kept moving forward with a single-focused attitude. She set herself on to a problem and did not give up until she’d solved it. 

He knew that was the whole reason she sat beside him now, ignoring her instincts to pull away, trying to normalize their odd union. Rey considered him a problem to be solved.

“Food’s ready,” Cairn said, bringing Kylo out of his study of Rey and her away from the book. She put the book and datapad on the table in front of the couch and then stood, stretching as she did so. From his position on the couch, Kylo couldn’t help admiring the view.

Her cheeks colored and he wondered if he’d let that thought carry too far into his emotions. But Rey didn’t say anything. She smiled down at him and made her way to the kitchen. 

Kylo stood and followed behind her, pleased with what progress had been made between them, and already trying to plan ways to get even closer to the former scavenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to old video games are FUN. :-)


	16. The Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes her prisoners outside for some exercise and Kylo gives her a lesson or two.

As much as Rey would’ve liked to bury herself in her book, she knew that wouldn’t be productive in terms of her relationship with her prisoners. After they ate, Rey suggested they go above ground for fresh air and exercise. Cairn found water canisters they could take with them. Ben rolled his eyes but took a canister and was ready when Rey opened the door to leave. She kept her new staff on her, and a blaster, but otherwise her clothing was light and she’d put on her most comfortable pair of boots. 

She realized, looking at the Knights, that they would likely benefit from more than one change of clothes. Cairn had stripped down to wearing only pants, but with all the fur covering his body, she was surprised he bothered with clothes at all. Wookies didn’t. Ben left off his padded vest, wearing only a shirt, pants, boots, and his lightsaber at his belt. 

The slight change in wardrobes did nothing to make either male less intimidating. 

Rey led the way out, having obtained codes from Poe for the main doors that morning. They emerged into the forest to find the sun shining and the air humid. It reminded Rey of Takodana, though the threes here looked even older than those around Maz’s place. 

“All right. We’re outside. Now what?” Cairn asked, glancing around at the trees.

Rey looked to Ben, ready to ask for a suggestion, when she realized he was using the Force to sense the lifeforms in the area. Curious, she remained quiet, and stretched her mind to reach with his. He hesitated for a moment, as if he felt her piggy-backing on his search, but then he reached farther, and faster, finding lifeforms in the trees, under the ground, in a body of water she couldn’t see from where they stood, and Rey knew which were predator and which were prey, all the way down to the tiniest of insects. Then Ben pulled back and Rey was inside her own head again, blinking up at him.

“That was incredible,” she said, feeling suddenly energized by all the evidence of life around them. “I’ve only done that once before, and it wasn’t all that detailed.”

“We call it a Force-sweep,” Ben said. His lips twitched. He was amused by how new everything was to her. She didn’t care. “But it was easier with your help.”

“I was helping?” She had a thousand questions about what had just occurred, but when she realized Cairn was staring at them with a smirk, she let them all drop. “At least we know there isn’t anything out there that’s big enough to eat us, if we stumble upon it.”

“Not at the moment, anyway.” Ben adjusted the strap of his water canister. “Which way?”

Rey pointed in the direction opposite from where they’d landed the other day. “We’ll go for a few miles and see if there’s anything interesting out there. I’m not sure which of us is the fastest, but I’m guessing it’s not me.” She looked between the two of them.

Ben nodded at Cairn. “He can easily outpace both of us.”

“Unless you use the Force,” Cairn added, his wide mouth stretching into a grin. “I can slow down for you, if need be.”

Rey shook her head. “There’s a body of water, a lake or something, that way. Let’s just all get there and back at a good pace. I’ll try not to slow anyone down.” She bent to stretch out her legs and arms. Cairn watched with amusement while Ben proceeded to warm up as well. 

When Rey nodded, Cairn took off at a trot, his arms held closed to his sides, while his long legs stretched out. Rey and Ben followed, Ben just barely ahead of her. His long legs ate up the ground much faster than hers, keeping him several meters ahead at what looked like an easy pace for him, while she put more effort into her speed. 

If either of her so-called prisoners wanted to escape, it would be an easy matter of simply running away from her. Rey knew the only thing that tethered them to her was Ben’s will. The moment he tired of the charade, he could end it. She only hoped she made a compelling enough case to not only keep him near, but to turn his support to the Resistance. With Hux as a mutual enemy, she had a greater chance than when he remained Supreme Leader. 

The males were polite enough to remain in sight of her, though Cairn got tired enough with the pace that he threw in the occasional leap into the branches of the trees. The first time Rey watched him make the jump, completely unaided by the Force and reliant solely upon his powerful leg muscles, she nearly gasped. She’d never seen anyone go upward under their own power so quickly. But he leaped up, from branch to branch, until she passed under him, then he would come down twice as quickly, with just as much grace, and run until he passed her and put distance between them before climbing again. 

Ben eased his pace when they were nearly to the water she sensed, until he fell back to her side. “You holding out on us, Rey?”

She laughed, but it came out a little more winded than she liked. “I’ve had a lot of practice running away from things lately.”

A ripple of humor came across their bond, though his face remained as impassive as ever. Someday, Rey would make him smile. She had the feeling that when he did, it would be as shocking to him as anyone else who witnessed it. 

They burst out of the trees, frightening several herbivore grazers away from the edge of the lake, and startling a few aquatic-looking birds into flight. Cairn stopped first, at the edge of the lapping water, and put his hands on his hips while he drew in several deep breaths. Ben came up beside him, looking over the water with interest, and Rey opened her canister of water to take in several deep gulps of water. 

“I’m going to take a lap around the lake,” Cairn announced, looking over his shoulder at Rey. “If the warden doesn’t mind?”

Rey waved him off, surprised he bothered to ask, and he winked at her before he took off at a run, obviously barely winded by the exercise.

Ben made his way to a rock which half-protruded over the lake from the rocky shoreline. She followed and climbed up behind him. He sat on the edge of the rock, crossing his legs beneath him and she followed suit. 

“What do you sense about the lake?” he asked, his voice at a lower register than normal. 

Surprised, Rey looked over it first with her eyes before reaching through the Force, feeling the power around her shift and curl at her gentle intrusion before the tendrils reached back, sending her information. 

“There are lifeforms beneath the water. Fish. Mostly small. Nothing big or threatening. Eggs are buried along the shore, and the mother is distressed we’re so near. It’s peaceful here. This place has known no violence.” She looked at him, feeling her muscles relax beneath the warm sunlight. “It’s a beautiful place.”

Ben regarded her silently before offering a short nod. “There are few like it. Here, there is great potential for life to flourish. There are predators, but they pose no threat to us.” He gestured towards the water with one hand, his eyes focusing on the small ripples in the lake. Rey watched, entranced, when the water obeyed his will and began to move. It lifted upward, slow at first, but gaining momentum, into a tall column, reaching well above their heads. 

“Can you take control of the water from me?” he asked.

Rey pursed her lips and studied the column carefully, reaching tentatively towards it. She could feel his power, wrapped around the water like a snake, coiling around the molecules to keep it rushing upwards. She couldn’t find a way to take it from him, not without removing the stability he gave it.

Rey tried what she had at the bunker, using their bond. In her mind, she walked across the bridge that connected their minds, finding the door to his thoughts. She entered and then sought for the column of water, using the line of power he’d already established, her mind following the path of his serpent like vines growing along the branches of a tree, until she had captured the water too. She felt him withdraw his support and nearly panicked, thinking she would lose control, but Rey made herself concentrate until she realized the column of water remained, now solely under her power. 

She opened her eyes, uncertain as to when she closed them, looking upward in awe at the clear water swirling in a perfect cylinder beside their boulder. 

“Fascinating,” Ben murmured, his voice nearly in her ear. Her concentration broke, abruptly, and the water fell downward with a heavy splash, causing a wave to lap up onto their rock, soaking them both. 

“Sorry,” Rey muttered, standing and looking down at her sodden boots. “I don’t know what happened.”

Ben remained seated, though his hair and clothes were dripping wet, and looked up at her, his head tilted to one side. “Why did you think to use our bond? What made you think that would work?”

“It’s what a did before. When we scanned the forest, back at the bunker. I wasn’t sure how to do it by myself, so I sort of looked to see how you were doing it.” Rey shifted from one foot to the other, biting her bottom lip before asking, “Was that wrong?”

“I don’t think it would work with anyone else,” he said, pushing himself up. “We ought to have you try it with Cairn.” The way he wrinkled his nose made her think he didn’t like that idea.

She didn’t. Even considering trying to do what she did with Ben with another Force user felt  _ wrong _ . “I’m not sure how I would do that,” she said. “I can’t enter his mind the way I can enter yours.”

He nodded, his head turning to look over the lake again. “Cairn is less than halfway around this thing. It’s huge.” Then, to her absolute horror, Ben started taking off his clothes.

Rey jolted backward and reached for the extendable staff at her belt. “What are you doing?” she asked, unable to hid the suspicion in her voice.

“I’m already soaked. I thought I’d go for a swim.” The answer was delivered simply, but she caught that smug satisfaction rolling off him again, the same way it had the first time she saw him without his mask. It was masculine pride, she knew, and she couldn’t say she blamed him. Ben Solo obviously worked hard, physically, to maintain his body. 

Rey realized she was staring at the muscles of his back and quickly averted her gaze, turning her attention to the ground. “Good. You do that. Sounds like great exercise.” She took a step toward the shore.

His hand on her wrist stopped her, and made her hold her breath. 

“I’ll teach you, Rey,” he said, giving her arm a gentle pull. She turned, but barely brought her chin up enough to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to be afraid of the water.”

_ How did you know? _ She thought.

He surprised her by answering her question out loud. “When you sought out the cave, on the island, you were afraid when you fell in the water. Terrified. You tried not to show it, when you told me about it. You got out of there by climbing, not swimming. Right?”

That a man of his power and abilities could talk about her fears, without mocking her, but with great understanding and patience, astounded her. Rey had thought of him for so long as a huge, shadowy presence in her world, a monster, a being bent on her capture. When their bond allowed them to speak to each other, she fought against the realization that he was as human as she was, and that he could have feelings that were not anger and pride. In the hut, as she told him about the cave, he listened to her with such single-focus that she felt as if there was nothing more important in the galaxy, to him, than being there for her. 

Now, standing on a rock in the middle of nowhere, his hand around her wrist in a manner that was supportive and not authoritative, she had the feeling again. For Ben Solo, Rey was all that mattered. And if she was afraid, he wanted to banish her fears. 

“All right,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “Teach me.”

***

Kylo released her long enough for her to take off her blaster, vest, and water. She wore only her tunic and leggings. They both removed their boots. Then he walked into the water first, until he was waist deep. The water would be higher on her, but manageable. He held his hand out and watched her, only knee deep, as she considered joining him. Her decision had already been made, but it took her time to work up the nerve to come further in.

She approached slowly, her bare feet cautiously stepping into the pebbly bed of the lake, but she relaxed the closer she drew to him. She reached out and put her hand in his, and Kylo knew a moment of absolute peace. He couldn’t recall feeling that way, ever, before. The conflict was always alive within him, even in his childhood. But standing in the water with Rey, her full trust given to him in this small way, calmed the war within his heart.

_ Balance _ , the Force whispered to him. 

But he didn’t have time to reflect on that. Rey was here, now, looking up at him and waiting for his instruction. 

“We’ll start with floating,” he said, and his mind raced backward to a memory he thought dead and buried forever. 

_ Han Solo, sitting on a dock, Leia in the water. She reached up and Han handed Ben down to her, then jumped in, causing a small wave to splash Leia and make Ben giggle at the droplets in her hair. _

He couldn’t’ve been more than five or six years old. He didn’t even remember the name of the planet they were on, but he remembered the lessons. His mother taught him, his father kept them both laughing.

Kylo pushed the memories away and cleared his throat. “It’s easy enough. You lay on your back. Fill your lungs with air. Spread your arms and legs.” He demonstrated. “Tilt your head back as far as you can, and relax.” He came back up to stand. “Try. I’ll help.”

Rey looked uncertain but leaned back into the water. Kylo brought his hands up to support her at the small of her back, holding her up in the water until her position was right. Then he slowly moved his hands away. “Anyone can float. For hours, if you had to.”

She had her eyes closed, likely enjoying the feeling of floating with the water. The angles of her face softened when she looked like that, at peace with the galaxy and her place in it. Her dark eyelashes were soft on her cheeks, her lips slightly parted as she smiled. 

“I can do this,” she said, as much to herself as to him. 

“You can.” He wanted much more than to be Rey’s teacher. Seeing her like this, feeling the calm she brought into his heart, surprised him. He knew they were destined to be together, to stand together, light and dark, had sent him head-first into trouble with the First Order. At first, it had been an overwhelming desire, a need, to possess her. But here, alone, without anyone else the in galaxy to judge him or her, Kylo had no need to control her or make her bend to his will for them. 

She opened her eyes and grinned at him, pushing herself back to her feet. “What’s next?”

“Treading water.” He took her out further, where she could keep her head above water if she stood on her toes. He taught her the most effective way to move her legs and arms, showed her how to use one or the other, and then encouraged her to push her way back to shore until the water became too shallow for her to move that way. 

She stood up, her soaked tunic clinging to her curves in a way she couldn’t possibly realize tantalized him. Kylo averted his eyes, as he’d rather not have to fight his thoughts back to spare them both an embarrassing moment. He pulled his now-dry shirt back on while Rey bundled her clothing up and attached it to her water canister.

Cairn arrived back at their side of the lake, finally looking winded. Rey decided they needed to head back to the bunker.

Kylo brought his focus back to the task at hand, knowing he had time to help Rey see things the way he did. Here, on this tiny planet, in the middle of a forest, he had all the time in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with me. The next few chapters tie up loose ends, but there's some really FUN stuff coming.
> 
> Also, who else loved looking through the artwork of TLJ? So many lovely images, so many untold stories...


	17. What Happened At Luke's Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cairn tells Rey what happened the night Ben Solo fled the Jedi training temple.

When they arrived back at the bunker, Rey and Ben were still soaked, and Cairn’s clothing had certainly seen better days. Rey activated a comm unit in the wall the minute they were in the main hall.

“Dameron.” His voice came through the little speaker almost immediately. 

“Um. It’s Rey. I wanted to ask if there are any extra changes of clothes in the bunker, or if I need to find a way to procure some things?” She winced as she spoke, hoping she wasn’t asking too much.

“Lemme check. Standby.” 

Rey looked up at her two prisoners, one soaking wet and the other smelling like he’d spent the afternoon running through a forest. She had a limited wardrobe, but they only had what they’d escaped from the First Order wearing. 

“On my home world,” Cairn said, noticing her stare, “no one wears clothes. I could just go back to that, if you’d like.” He winked at her.

Rey thought that was supposed to make her uncomfortable, but she only shrugged. “I’ve met plenty of races who don’t wear human clothing. Wookies come to mind. If you’re more comfortable that way, don’t let me stop you.” 

Ben’s posture shifted and he sent Cairn a reproving look. 

Poe’s voice came back through to them. “The General says there’s a room of supplies, and there should be some clothes in there. Nothing fancy. But go all the way down your hall, through the door on the end, down the stairs, first door on your left. Help yourself.”

“Thank you.” Rey adjusted her bundle and tried not to shiver. Now that they were inside, without the warm sunshine and humidity to keep her warm, she was acutely aware of her wet clothing. She led the way, dropping her gear off at their quarters, before finding the storage room.

When the lights came on, they found a room full of shelves and lockers, with all manner of things stacked inside. Rey, looking for something that looked like clothing, even saw a box full of toys. She paused, only for a moment, noticing what looked like a pilot doll at the top, dressed in orange. Her mind went back to her AT-AT, now likely buried beneath the sands of Jakku without her to keep it cleaned off. She shook away the memories and kept walking.

“I think I found it,” Cairn called from further down. Rey went in the direction of his voice, Ben joining her from another aisle of shelves. 

They found trunks stacked on wide shelves, each one labeled with size and weight. Rey stepped back, realizing the males could shop for themselves here. 

They found a trunk that would likely work for them both and pulled it down, then Ben opened the locking mechanism with a wave of his hand.

“Whoever owns this place,” Cairn said, “they provided for the Resistance well.”

Ben dug around in the trunk, his neutral expression changing to one of frustration. Rey wondered if it was because he couldn’t find any of his customary black and nearly chuckled at the thought. 

Cairn pulled out a couple pairs of pants in shades of brown and a few other things. Ben finally found black trousers, but the other colors of cloth in his arm were varied. Dark blue, white, and dark red. When they looked finished, Rey turned and retraced their steps.

Before long, she was back in her room, wearing dry clothing. She pulled back her wet hair into her three customary buns, keeping it all out of her face. She pulled the gray arm wraps she’d worn to Ahch-To back on, appreciating their warmth. Then she went looking for dinner.

Ben was already in the kitchen, putting a meal onto plates, and she froze when he looked up. He could have been anyone, anything, looking the way he did. His tall, powerful body took up most of the space in the preparation area, making him look even larger. He wore the new black trousers, with a white, long-sleeved shirt, and a dark blue vest over that, his boots on. No gloves. His dark hair had dried into waves. But Rey was most struck by the resemblance he bore to Han Solo, especially now that his pale skin had a little more color to it after their time in the sun.

“Hungry?” he asked at last, that smug, self-assured vibe emanating from him again. 

Rey took a step back and walked around to the other side of the counter, feeling that the barrier between them might be a good idea at present. Cairn arrived and the two of them made short work of Kylo’s cooking, though Rey couldn’t identify half of the food, she knew it was mostly protein and vegetables. 

They passed an evening reading through the digital copy of Rey’s book, having copied it onto other datapads they’d found in the suite of rooms. 

“The Dark Side of the Force ensnares users,” Rey said at one point, putting her datapad down in her lap. She looked between Cairn and Ben, trying to ignore how closely Ben sat next to her on the sofa. “Surely after reading all of this, you see it’s true. You’re enticed deeper and deeper, focusing on increasingly bleak and negative emotions and thoughts in order to control it. How could anyone be happy, in a state like that?”

Ben’s head tipped back slightly and his eyes narrowed. “It isn’t about happiness. It’s about serving a greater purpose.”

“Or about survival,” Cairn added, causing Rey to turn back to him. “And you mistake the matter if you think all Knights of Ren are deeply entrenched in the Dark Side. Snoke focused our training on many aspects of the Force, when he gave anyone besides Kylo attention, that is.” His ears were laying back, but not as they had when he was amused. His eyes narrowed and his tail twitched next to him. 

Rey leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “What do you mean?” 

“Cairn,” Ben spoke his name hesitantly, almost as if asking a question.

The gray-furred male shook his head, lowering his eyes. He brought his hands up, fingers interlaced, and rested his chin on his fists. “I think she ought to know. It’s time for her to realize that the choices we make are not always light and dark, or black and white. There are, if you will excuse the pun, gray areas.” His lips twitched upward, flashing his sharp canine grin before he became serious again. 

“Kylo has told you some of the details of what happened the night Skywalker turned on him. But you don’t know the whole story. After he pulled his house down on our Jedi teacher, he found the rest of us, in the bunkhouse near the temple.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Kylo slept separately, by choice. He was impatient to move from being a Padawan to a Knight and was trying to be independent. If he wasn’t so damned stubborn, he would’ve been in the bunkhouse and things may have been different.”

“No use dwelling on it,” Kylo muttered, crossing his arms and looking down. 

Rey turned her attention back to Cairn. “What happened when Ben told everyone about Skywalker?”

Cairn snorted. “It was chaos. There were thirteen of us. All at varying levels of ability. All from different backgrounds. There was one padawan, Mathes, who was almost worshipful of Luke. No one really liked him. But he told Kylo--Ben, I mean. He was still Ben then, I think.” Cairn shook his head, not looking at either of them. “He told Ben that his status as son of Leia Organa wouldn’t save him from death. He would be tried for murder of a galactic hero. It shocked us to hear it said like that. Ben was panicked and probably believed Mathes.”

“Of course I did. It was true,” Ben added, raking his hands through his hair. 

“But Ben told us there was another way, that he was leaving and anyone who wished to could join him. He said there was someone else who could teach us, and protect us. With Luke gone, only a couple of us even had homes anymore. We were war orphans and two former slaves.” Cairn sighed. “We didn’t see a future without Skywalker. We had only just begun training, and now it was over, and our master was not the man we thought he was. That’s when the arguing started. Mathes said he wouldn’t let Ben leave, that we all had to keep him there until help could come.”

“Then the lightsabers ignited,” Ben whispered. He pushed himself up from the couch and walked away, keeping his back to Rey and Cairn. “Mathes and six others. A handful of them hesitated, trying to talk Mathes down. Cairn was particularly eloquent.”

“Fat lot of good it did us.” Cairn’s eyes opened and he stared at Ben’s back, his whole body tense. “Mathes took a step forward, Ben’s lightsaber ignited, and I’m not sure what happened next, but one of the younger padawans moved. He stepped right in between Ben and Mathes.”

Ben interrupted harshly. “And he died. He was only _ ten years old _ . He wanted to stop the fighting, but he moved a second too late.”

“The Dark Side flowed through all of us,” Cairn continued when Ben stopped speaking as abruptly as he started. “We were all fighting for different things. To avenge the boy, to stop Ben from leaving, to stop Mathes from dolling out his own form of justice, and for survival. Mathes wouldn’t let Ben just leave, he wouldn’t have let anyone go with him. We were trapped in a whirl of emotions and the power of the Force. When it was over, more than half the padawans were dead. Those of us still alive, we knew what it would look like to anyone who came to investigate the temple. Our only hope for escape was to follow Ben to the one who promised him freedom and greater teachings.”

Rey hissed the hated name. “Snoke.”

Cairn nodded. “Snoke. He wasn’t entirely thrilled that Ben came with tagalongs. But Ben insisted we have a place, that we be taught, that we would be valuable. Ben swore his allegiance to Snoke, and we swore our allegiance to Ben Solo, who became Kylo Ren.”

Rey looked over to Ben again, watching him stand stiff and straight, she could see his hands opening and closing into fists. She didn’t understand why this recounting of that night bothered him so, if he was fully committed to the Dark. Unless he was worried she would be more disgusted with his actions?

Reaching out with the Force, she gently slid across their bond and to him. He permitted her to glimpse what he was feeling, his hold on his emotions slipping when he felt her presence in that space between their minds. 

Disgust. Shame.  _ Remorse _ . Ben Solo didn’t want to relive that night, but it had less to do with how she would perceive it than how he still remembered it.

“I just wanted to leave,” he said into the silence of the room. “I wanted to get on a ship and leave. The bloodbath at the temple wasn’t supposed to happen. Snoke didn’t demand it, the way I’m sure everyone assumed he would’ve. He wanted Luke Skywalker dead and the temple destroyed. My failure to kill Skywalker, my disobedience in bringing others with me, and my feelings about killing the others students, all gave me a shaky start in Snoke’s favor.”

“He mocked Ben,” Cairn added. “All of us, terrified, kneeling at his feet. The first thing he did, after he got the story out of us, was laugh and call Ben weak. Told him he could never be a powerful Sith Lord if he mourned the deaths of beings less than himself.”

Rey rubbed her arms, feeling colder than she had before. “You don’t sound like you took it well, either.”

Cairn shook his head, lifting his chin from his fists and shrugging stiffly. “I hated Snoke from that moment onward. We were all young. Ben was only, what, twenty-three? Twenty-four? I was younger. The youngest we had with us, Mord, was only seventeen. We lost everything. Our master, our home, and half of our family. And here, this powerful being, sneered at us.”

Rey felt Ben move toward her and she nearly jumped when he dropped a blanket on her shoulders before he took his seat next to her. “Snoke made me responsible for the others. He said if they defected or stepped out of line, I would be punished. If I did not obey him, he would punish them. The Knights of Ren were born from that mutual need to survive.”

“We didn’t hate it,” Cairn said. “Duna and Tamas thrived as knights. The rest of us made it work. When it became clear that we were talented, that we could be useful, Snoke sent us out into the galaxy as his right hand. We obeyed, without question. The alternative was to watch what was left of our friends die. There were things I did that I regretted, but over time, it was easier to remain dispassionate. Obey orders. Fulfill the mission. Get out.”

“And Snoke kept us apart as often as possible,” Ben added. He kept his arms crossed but he finally raised his eyes to meet Rey’s. “But he kept me nearby. He taught me how to harness the Dark, to bend it to my will, to use it to gain what I wished. He taught me of Darth Vader and his power. He told me of Palpatine. The weaknesses of the human heart. I learned secrets of power while Cairn and the others were used like precision tools. It was going to change, when I became Supreme Leader. They were to be my generals and governors. I was going to teach you everything he taught me,” he said the last while looking at Cairn.

Cairn nodded, though his shoulders fell. “And I would’ve followed you until my death or yours,” the Trianii said somberly, his eyes meeting Ben’s. “Because you were my friend and commander. But I’ve been thinking, Kylo. Ben.” His lips twitched in a humorless smile. “Here we are, and no one has mentioned executing us for our crimes. We could be useful to the Resistance. I swore my loyalty to you, and I will do it again now if you ask it, but I would hope you consider what we would be giving up if we continue to follow Snoke’s path for us.”

Rey’s heart raced in her chest and she could feel the influence of the Force in the room, confirming Cairn’s assertions, permeating all of them with a feeling that was heavy, but peaceful. It reminded Rey of floating in the water, being held up by something physical, yet not solid enough to support her should she allow herself to become forgetful. The currents of the Force shifted around them, rippling through their souls. 

The door chimed, and like a boulder thrown into a pond, the strange tension broke. 

Rey stood, keeping the blanket around her shoulders, and went quickly to answer it. She had the feeling if the wrong person walked in at the moment, they would not receive a very warm welcome. Ben’s emotions were roiling and Cairn’s Force signature was throbbing with pain and hope. 

The door slid open and Rey looked up into the hairy face of Chewbacca the Wookie. 

***

Kylo hadn’t expected Cairn’s story to awaken his memories in such a painful way. He felt raw, inside his mind and heart, and when his lieutenant confessed to a desire to remain with the Resistance, Kylo didn’t know what to say. Cairn would follow Kylo, whatever path he chose, even if it went against his personal wishes. 

He had known the Trianii’s feelings towards Snoke, but thought he would be more willing to follow Kylo as Supreme Leader, especially if Cairn could become a full Lord of the Dark Side. But Cairn didn’t share his dreams, Cairn would happily leave the First Order behind forever. This should have no effect on Kylo’s decision, yet the memories dredged up of that horrific night at the temple, the text they read from Rey’s book, were causing him to doubt his plans.

But his vision, standing with Rey, before crowds of obedient and faithful followers, remained with him. His dreams of holding her in his arms, cradling her against him, fighting back to back, were more than visions. They had become his greatest wish; Kylo longed for Rey to see things the way he did, to accept him, to join him. Instead of Cairn helping to draw Rey into the Darkness, he was giving her yet another reason to stay in her circle of light. 

When the door chimed and Rey went to open it, Kylo reached out, automatically, sensing the intent of the being on the other side. 

He shot to his feet the same moment the door slid open, revealing a very large, very bitter Wookie.

Chewbacca began speaking at once, in a series of growls, purrs, and snorts that very few people could understand. On another level, his body-language developed his words further, each gesture and twitch full of meaning. 

“I know,” Rey said, raising both hands in a calming gesture. “You’re upset. You’ve every right to be. But I have to try, Chewbacca. I couldn’t just leave him to die.”

Kylo rose slowly to his feet and Chewbacca’s eyes looked over Rey’s shoulders to meet his. 

The Wookie asked to come inside.

“Not if you’re here for a fight,” Rey said firmly, crossing her arms and standing her ground. The Wookie dwarfed her, the way he did nearly everyone, standing over seven feet tall. But he didn’t threaten her, or push by her. 

Still staring at Kylo, Chewbacca promised that was not why he had come, though he was bristling with agitation. 

“All right. You can come in.” Rey stepped aside, but when she turned Kylo could see the wariness in her eyes. He didn’t blame her. The last time he had seen the Wookie, it had been when Chewbacca shot him. The last time they’d been on the same planet, Kylo had ordered the Wookie’s execution aboard the  _ Falcon _ .

Chewbacca bent his head and ducked inside the doorway, then straightened to his full height and came slowly into the room, his eyes intent on Kylo. 

As a child, Ben Solo played with Chewie as if the Wookie were a favorite uncle. Never had Chewbacca’s height intimidated him. When Ben was old enough, his father took him to visit Kashyyyk, where he met Chewie’s son. As he grew older, it amazed Ben to hear of the exploits of the Mighty Chewbacca, known throughout the galaxy for his strength and abilities as a pilot and mechanic. 

Now the mighty Wookie came closer, no longer the protective uncle, but a very serious, and very powerful, entity. 

The Wookie spoke first.  _ “I can’t decide if I’m sorry you survived.” _

Kylo nodded, not taking his eyes away from Chewbacca. “I understand the conflict. I’ve felt similarly about you.”

Chewbacca tilted his head to one side, looking Kylo up and down carefully, only then causing Kylo to recall he no longer wore black. 

_ “You look like your father.” _

What could he possibly say to that? It wasn’t a compliment or an insult, it was just an observation, and one Kylo knew to be true. He decided a short nod was best, without a word being said. 

_ “This woman, I’ve grown fond of her, and she thinks you can be redeemed. Your father thought it, too. Was he wrong? He was my battle-brother. My friend. Was he wrong?” _

Kylo’s hand closed into a fist, the war within his heart growing more chaotic by the second. Rey, Cairn, and now Chewbacca called his actions into question. The grief of the past, the dead hopes for Ben Solo’s future, and the promise of his vision swirled within his soul and he could not answer as firmly as he wished, as strongly as he would have but a week before. 

“I don’t know anymore,” he said at last, the words ragged. Anger at his weakness rose within him and his blood ran through his veins like fire. With one word, and a small gesture, he could end Chewbacca’s life and silence his questions. He could cut Cairn down easily. He could leave this place, and very possibly take Rey with him if he acted swiftly enough. The Dark enveloped his heart and mind and showed him how easily he could accomplish these things. 

Rey’s hands, both delicate and strong, wrapped around his left fist, holding it tightly. Her touch through the Force, her mind brushing against his, felt the way a cool cloth on a fevered brow might feel. His anger didn’t evaporate, but it receded. The Darkness swirled within, but her light encircled him too.

Kylo took his eyes from Chewbacca’s and looked down at Rey, not knowing when she came to stand beside him, but he saw the peace and pleading in her eyes. She had sensed every emotion, had known every thought, as he had slipped into the uncontrollable rage of the Dark Side. But she didn’t shout an alarm or move to attack. 

She held his hand and helped him find the balance between Light and Dark. 

Her name fell from his lips in an awed whisper. “Rey?”

She smiled up at him, not relinquishing her hold, then turned to look at Chewbacca. “There’s time for him to decide still, Chewbacca.”

The Wookie snorted, then reached into a pack at his side. Kylo stiffened, almost expecting a weapon, but instead Chewbacca held out a stack of books in his large hand. 

_ “You wanted these from the  _ Falcon. _ I stopped by on my way back to get them.” _

Rey didn’t release Kylo’s hand, but she nodded eagerly. “Yes, the rest of the Jedi texts. Could you please give them to Cairn? He can scan them for me and begin computer translations. Thank you, Chewbacca.”

Kylo relaxed his fist, then carefully wove his fingers through her right hand. They had yet to hold hands like this outside of their shared visions. He had touched her a great deal, in small ways. His hand on her back while she floated, his arm brushing her shoulder when they sat down, but those were touches just about anyone could share with her. This was different. This was intimate. 

And Rey didn’t fight it. She didn’t stiffen up or pull away. In fact, she gave his hand a gentle tug and pulled him to the kitchen with her.

“Can I get you anything to eat, Chewbacca?” she asked. “Or drink?”

He grunted a polite no. He took the books to Cairn, glanced around the room, and snorted. 

_ “If he steps out of line, you call me, Rey. I don’t care if he’s got a lightsaber. I can still rip his arms off.” _

Rey’s fingers tightened around Kylo’s, but he sensed it was more of a protective instinct than one meant to calm him. “Thank you, Chewbacca. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The Wookie nodded, then left, muttering to himself.  _ “Now I’ve got to see Leia. She can’t be happy about this.” _ He disappeared out the door, shaking his head and mumbling things Kylo had no wish to understand. 

“That was intense,” Cairn said the moment the door had shut. They turned to see his eyes wide and his posture slumped. “I thought I was going to have to fight an angry Wookie. That wouldn’t have gone well. For me.”

Rey laughed and Kylo heard her nervousness in the trembly sound. “Do you have any idea how close we all came to that kind of fight?” She squeezed Kylo’s hand and turned her shaky smile up to him. “Thank you for letting me help you.”

“Is that what you did?” he asked, relief flooding across their bond from her to him, making his heart skip a beat. “I thought you just wanted to hold my hand.” Where those words came from, he had no idea, but they slipped out as easily as threats used to spill from his lips. 

Her jaw dropped and she let go of his hand, but he couldn’t begin to be upset over that move, as she raised both hands to his chest and gently shoved him. He didn’t budge. She wasn’t strong enough to accomplish that. But she laughed, the sound light and happy, removing the remaining tension from the room.

“Hold your hand?” she scoffed, tilting her head back to look at him through narrowed eyes. “I wanted to stop you from committing murder, and we both know it.”

Cairn was moving quietly out of the room, the new books in his arms, and he looked over his shoulder to catch Kylo’s eyes and offer a wink and a smirk before his door shut behind him.

Kylo looked down at Rey again, still standing close enough that he could reach out, just a little, and draw her to him. But he didn’t. Waiting for her to come to him, though excruciatingly slow, was the right thing. He tried not to sigh when he stepped backward, giving her space. 

“Good night, Rey.”

“What?” Her smile disappeared and her shoulders drooped. “Already?”

“I think so. It’s been an exhausting day.” Kylo needed to cut himself off from the world, if only for the night. He hadn’t felt this spent in a long time. Between the physical exercise and the clash of light and dark, the dredging up of things best forgotten, he needed the oblivion of sleep. Darkness continued to wrap itself around his mind, but his heart felt lighter than it had in years. The conflict was beginning again, and this time, Kylo could not be sure which path he would choose.

“Good night then, Ben,” Rey said.

“Good night.” He took another step back before he turned, leaving her to go to his room. But even though the physical door closed behind him, he could feel her across their bond, as near to him as if she still held his hand. “You don’t have to do that,” he said out loud, sending the thought to her.

_ “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” _ her voice whispered in his mind. 

_ “I’ll be fine. Get some sleep.”  _ Then he fell into bed, closing his consciousness off from everything, finding a small measure of rest at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna beg. I know people are reading/following based on stats, but I would really love to know what y'all are thinking at this point. Good, bad, ugly, lay it on me. :-)


	18. A Week Without Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue Dark Lords do not possess.

_ Ben Solo meditated in a garden, surrounded by flowers and fountains of water. He sat on a stone bench, legs crossed, forearms resting against his knees, his hands palm-up. A breeze rustled by, but it did not disturb him. He remained focused, at peace, until he felt something brush his fingertips. He stayed still, not even investigating what caused the sensation. It was likely a pollinating insect, harmless enough.  _

_ The feeling persisted, but he ignored it, reaching for the silence in his mind. _

_ The sensation now happened on his other hand, tickling his fingertips. _

_ Ben’s eyes opened and he looked up, right into the warm brown eyes of Rey. She stood over him, a long piece of grass in her hand, tickling his palm now. She grinned when she saw him looking. _

_ “Have you discovered the secrets of the universe yet?” she asked, her eyes dancing with mirth.  _

_ “Only the one.” He darted forward, wrapping his arms around her, tackling her to the ground. She squealed and laughed. He rolled onto his back, bringing her with him, held snug against his chest. “I love you.” _

_ She rolled her eyes and pushed against his chest with both hands, raising herself up only a little. “But that’s no secret, Ben. I knew that already.” _

_ He put his hand against her cheek, brushing his thumb across her lips. “Did you? I must be losing my touch.” _

_ She grinned and lowered herself back down, bringing her lips closer to his. “Must be.” He could feel her soft breath on his nose and mouth. “But do you know my secret?” _

_ His heart thudded against his chest, loud enough he could hear it. Ben reached up to cradle her face in both hands. “Tell me. Please.” _

_ Her lips parted and her eyes turned soft. Rey took in a deep breath, about to say the words that kept him breathing-- _

And Kylo woke, the bright sunlight from the view screens breaking into his consciousness. He sat up and with a wave of his hand shattered the largest screen into a thousand tiny pieces.

A startled sensation came through his bond to Rey. He cursed out loud and quickly sent her a calming thought. Now he would have to explain his burst of temper to her, and she would look at him with disappointment,  _ again _ . 

His dreams were only that, not visions of a possible future. And in his dreams, he was either the murderous monster she once thought him to be, slaughtering her friends before her eyes, or he was Ben Solo, a weak-willed fool who commanded nothing and no one. Neither character pleased him.

Chewbacca’s visit, Cairn’s confessions, happened a week before. Since then, the three of them had fallen into a routine, almost able to forget that there were even other people living in the bunker with them. They woke, made breakfast, talked over the books and read for a time, then Cairn and Rey left to scour the bunker for parts to build her lightsaber. Kylo wished he was performing that task with her, but she obviously preferred Cairn’s help. While they were gone, he read, or did calisthenics. They ate lunch. He and Cairn would go through lightsaber forms in a large, unused dining hall they’d found on another level. Rey watched and asked questions, sometimes doing calisthenics in the same room. Sometimes she only read. Then they all ran to the lake. Cairn would jog the perimeter, and Ray practiced swimming.

Kylo had not had the opportunity to touch her again. She hadn’t reached for his hand. She didn’t need him to hold her while she practiced moving through the water. All he could manage was to sit next to her, his thigh brushing hers, her shoulders beneath his arm. 

That dream had been the closest he’d come to her in days. 

Patience didn’t come easily to someone used to getting his way. Of course, that hadn’t happened much lately, between Rey and Hux’s betrayal, Kylo should be getting used to disappointment. 

After he dressed, wearing all black today, he walked out into the common area. Rey was already there, waiting for him with folded arms and a puzzled expression.

“What happened in your room?” she asked.

“View screen exploded,” he said dismissively, going toward the kitchen, though he wasn’t the least bit hungry.

“Oh. What did it do to displease you?” she asked, her tone light.

“It let the sun in too early.”

“There are settings, you know. You didn’t have to shatter it.”

He shrugged.

“Ben, I need your help with something. It’d be nice if you’d talk to me instead of going all Kylo-Sullen.” 

He tensed up. She hadn’t called him Kylo once. Ever. Her use of his preferred name now struck him as strange. He turned to face her through the divide between kitchen and sitting space. “Today might not be your day for favors, then.”

She pursed her lips and stared at him hard, reaching through their bond. He brushed her away, not ready to let her in this morning. She’d been there, almost constantly, for days. He ought to have enjoyed having her presence that close, but since nothing seemed to change between them, he now felt it more invasive than helpful. The storm within him had died down, mostly due to her being there to calm it. But it left him feeling useless. What was the point of being here, doing nothing, while Hux ran the galaxy?

Would Rey never dare more? Would she simply be there to wrap his temper up in bacta-gel and keep him in check? The two of them existing in this strange limbo was far from what he wanted.

“Please,” she said, standing up and coming towards him. She held a bag in her hands and he could feel the power of Anakin Skywalker’s kyber crystal throbbing from within. “I think I have everything I need. Cairn says, a long time ago, that Jedi would build their lightsabers on their own. He said it could take days and that it’s important for me to be somewhere safe and quiet. Away from everything else. He said that usually another Jedi, a master or a friend, would stand by to guard the person building the ‘saber.”

“Why not ask him to do it?” Kylo asked, his eyes on the bag. “He’s helped you this far.”

Her cheeks turned pink and she lowered her eyes, her hands fidgeting with the bag. “I didn’t want you to help find the pieces because you have your own idea of what should happen to this crystal. But I’d prefer you be the one to watch my back while I’m absorbed with this task.”

“How do you know I won’t betray you and take the crystal for myself?” he asked, knowing he sounded petulant but not caring. 

Rey sighed and dropped the bag on the counter, causing everything inside to clink together. She winced and rubbed her hand across her eyes. “Listen, Ben. I’ve been reading the lore right along with you. I know that this crystal no longer holds whatever traits Anakin Skywalker imbued it with. We wiped those away when we destroyed the casing. But it’s still a powerful crystal and one which I can use to make my own lightsaber. If you really don’t want me to use it, then I won’t.” She lowered her hand and shrugged, then met his eyes again. “But you should remember, it called to me. It came to me in the forest on Starkiller Base. This crystal may have served Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker, but it’s chosen someone else for now.”

He knew she was right. But it was tempting to claim it for himself anyway.

“I also found something I thought you’d like to know about, in the texts. It didn’t make much sense, the way Cairn’s program translated it, but when I went back through the book I figured out why. It was missing words that the program must’ve thought were embellishments on the page instead of part of the writing.”

Kylo sighed and leaned his shoulder against the wall, staring at her. “What did it say?”

“I’d rather tell you when we’re alone. Out in the middle of nowhere. I’ve contacted Chewie and he says he’ll pretend to be Cairn’s jailor for a few days, so we can get out of here. Do you want to help me or not?” Her chin tilted upward, her body stiff and straight; Kylo could feel the determination rolling off of her in waves. 

Wasn’t this what he wanted? More time with her, alone. 

But she held herself so aloof, there was no reason to think that would change, even on their little foray into the woods.

“Fine,” he said at last. “I’ll come with you.” 

He still had a vision to achieve, after all.

***

Rey didn’t do people well. She knew that. Although she liked other beings well enough, so long as they weren’t intent on killing her or stealing from her, she never had much opportunity for socializing. Unkar Plutt was hardly a good example of how to get along with others, and he practically raised her for eight years. Then she’d been mostly alone, except when she traded with others. She tried to help out, when she could. There were a few scavengers who owed their lives to her. 

Despite her lack of experience in functional relationships, she tried to be kind to others. Rey wanted to help. The idea of the Resistance had always appealed to her, as each story she heard made them sound like a family of misfits, come together for a single purpose, working towards a common goal. She liked that idea. 

She understood droids and computers, mechanical things, because they had a design and a purpose, they followed orders and directives. They could be loyal, if their programming allowed for it. 

Then Finn came crashing into her life and suddenly she was around people she cared about, and they cared about  _ her _ . Finn, Han Solo, Chewbacca, even Maz in her weird way. Then Kylo Ren captured her and tore her new world apart.

Then Leia sent her to find Luke, effectively isolating Rey again. 

Until Kylo Ren, who she now could only ever think of as Ben Solo.

Rey didn’t believe in being subtle. Her life, to this point, had required her to be bold, brash, and to stand up for herself. Her exuberant hugs with Finn, however, showed her that going through life showing people exactly how you felt could still lead to misunderstandings. 

She packed a bag of supplies, taking her pick from things in the large supply storage room where Ben and Cairn had found new clothing. She found a sleeping bag, a better water canister with a superior filtration mechanism, fire-starter, and packaged meals more like what she was used to eating on Jakku. She packed light, even though her scavenging habits made her fingers twitch when there was so much at hand, laying around, being wasted. 

Rey stuffed a flashlight into her pack and then sat down on the ground, tipping her head back to stare at the artificial lights. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about Ben, no matter how hard she tried. She could feel the conflict in him, wherein light and dark continually mingled in the middle of his soul. And while she watched him maintain an outward calm she could never hope to replicate, she felt his emotions tearing him up on the inside.

Everything about him screamed he was dangerous, unpredictable, and not what she needed in her new life; she was trying to belong, trying to find a way to help the Resistance, and making friends at last. 

But Rey could not give him up as a lost cause. Even if helping him meant sacrificing everything she’d ever wanted. They were linked, her destiny tied to his, in a way more profound and powerful than she could even begin to understand. 

She had to save him. 

However, their emotions were complicating things between them. He wanted something from her that she didn’t know how to give. 

On Jakku, people had made offers. Unkar made sure she could say no, even after she left his protection. The offers had been stated baldly. “Keep my bed warm and I’ll help keep you fed.” “Come into this tent with me, I’ll bet we both leave happy.” Things like that. They were easy to turn down, easy to laugh at. 

Ben wanted more than anyone had ever asked of her before. She could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. She felt it pulsing through their bond. In every look, every accidental touch, every word he said.

Ben wanted  _ her _ . Not just her body for meaningless pleasure. He wanted everything that made her  _ Rey _ . 

She kept her distance. She tried subtlety. She pretended she didn’t notice. 

Rey almost laughed aloud. How could she  _ not _ notice? Their bond made it difficult to keep thoughts or emotions private. 

His frustration over the last week with her had been hard to ignore. 

Until he chose a side, how could she ever choose how to react to him? In the end, she might only disappoint him. She was a scavenger, an abandoned child, her parents were nobody. He grew up the son of a  _ princess _ and a famous pirate, smuggler, general, and hero. 

She meant it when she told him he wasn’t alone anymore. But keeping him company, as a friend, and giving in to the feelings he held for her, were two vastly different things. 

A comm unit in the wall beeped at her and Rey pushed herself to her feet to answer it. “Rey here, in the supply room.”

“I need to speak with you, Rey,” the general’s voice said. “Before you leave, please.”

Rey hadn’t expected Leia to have any sort of reaction to her plans. Chewbacca would tell her, of course, but Leia had not spoken to Rey once since their interview after Rey’s arrival. What would she have to say to Rey now? Did she finally have a mission for her?

“I’m on my way.” Rey hefted the pack and hustled up the stairs and down hallways until she came to Leia’s wing of the bunker, where the tight security had been relaxed again to allow her through. She passed through the data room and was surprised to see Lieutenant Connix moving from one screen to another, datapad in hand. C3-PO and BB-8 were also hard at work. Poe Dameron was listening to a report being given by a hologram of another Resistance fighter Rey recognized. 

They looked  _ busy. _ Purposeful. And that made her feel like she was being lazy in the way she used her time. No wonder Ben was wound tightly if he was used to always having this kind of action going on about him. 

She went through to Leia’s personal chambers, and the moment she stepped into the room the doors closed behind her. 

Leia was standing, staring at a viewscreen of the outside world. Rey first felt relief that the general was no longer confined to a medical chair, but when she realized what scene Leia was staring at her stomach dropped. 

How could she have forgotten that the largest screen in Leia’s quarters featured a lake? And not just any lake, but the one that Rey had been visiting every day with her prisoners. Learning to swim. Exercising. Meditating on that rock, which was in full view of whatever camera supplied this screen with the image. 

Rey came forward more slowly, wondering if she was about to receive a reprimand on wasting her time.

Leia turned and immediately smiled. “Don’t look so upset, Rey. It’s just a talk between friends.” She gestured to the same chair Rey had sat in before. “Goodness, you look like you’re facing a court marshall.”

“I can explain,” Rey blurted, dropping into her chair. “About the lake.”

Leia shook her head and sat down, slowly, in the chair next to Rey’s. “You don’t have to explain. I’ve been watching from the beginning. I know all about it.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I will admit, the first day when I saw movement on that screen, my heart nearly stopped. When you’re used to being hunted, the way I am, you’re always dreading you’ll be found. But then I saw it was that huge feline and you, and Kylo Ren. All in black. I haven’t actually  _ seen _ him in years.”

The general opened her eyes and looked into Rey’s, her calm permeating the air around them. “He looks like Han. And like me, sometimes. But it’s what I didn’t see that surprised me. I didn’t see anger. I was expecting him to look angry.”

Rey shifted in her chair and lowered her eyes. “He has his moments. It’s still there, just beneath the surface.”

“I understand. I’ve felt it, though I’ve done my best not to dwell on him being so near.” Leia sat back and folded her hands in her lap. “I watched him, just waiting to see some evidence of the monster I’m told he’s become.”

Rey winced at the use of that horrid word, though she’d used it herself on more than one occasion. 

“But I didn’t see it, Rey.” Leia sighed and ran a finger up and down the stones of her ring. “I only see a young man who looks incredibly lost. And sad. Does he never smile?”

“Not that I’ve seen,” Rey admitted. She leaned across the arm of her chair, a little closer to Leia, feeling the need to reassure the older woman. “But he’s been saying things that make  _ me _ want to laugh”

Leia smiled, albeit sadly. “The Solo men always had a gift for a well-turned phrase. I’m glad he hasn’t forgotten that.” Leia looked up and pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at Rey. “I’m told you are taking him into the forest. That you’ll be gone for several days.”

“Yes. If that’s alright with you, Leia.” Rey tapped her fingers on the armrest of the chair, debating how to explain what she hoped to achieve. “I’ve told him I want to build my own lightsaber. I think I’m ready. He’s agreed to act as a guardian while I perform that task. But I have another reason. I hope, with all my heart, that when we return, he will be different.”

“Oh?” Leia raised her eyebrows. “All from a little camping trip?”

Rey shook her head. “No. Something else. It’s hard to explain.” Rey shrugged. “I’m not even sure it will work. But I have to try. It has to do with the Force, and some books we’ve been reading…” She let her voice trail off, uncertain as to how much she could share without alarming the general.

“I hope you will be able to tell me more about it, in time.” Leia graciously let Rey off the hook, smiling gently. “But I wanted to tell you something, Rey. Before you go. I am certain you are aware of this. But every time I’ve seen that man on my screen, all he’s ever been doing is watching you.”

“I know.” Rey looked down, trying to push away the emotions that statement caused, but she felt the heat creeping up the back of her neck and into her face. 

“He has very strong feelings for you. I see it, and I’ve sensed it, when I’ve let my guard down.” Leia sighed and folded her arms. “I don’t know him anymore, and this isn’t my place, but I want you to know that I am here if you need to talk. I realize now that I left you in a hard position when we last spoke. I put a great deal of responsibility on your shoulders. Sometimes, the general in me forgets what it was like to be young. I’ve spent most of my life under threat of death, handling the lives of others, that I have forgotten what a burden it can be to someone unused to it. I am here for you, Rey, in whatever way you need.”

Rey nodded, her heart warming towards Leia as she spoke. She grew up hearing stories about the greatest heroes in the galaxy: Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa. Somehow, she never thought much about Leia, growing up. The smuggler-pilot, the legendary Jedi, those two she hero-worshipped from a young age. But Leia, in all the stories, was a daring diplomat, a general commanding thousands, but hardly someone with thrilling stories of her own. 

But really, Leia had accomplished more for the galaxy than anyone else, through years of service and commanding others. She was intelligent, charismatic, and compassionate. 

“Good luck on your trip,” Leia said, and Rey nodded, whispering her thanks before leaving the room. Her supplies in order, the general informed, Rey was ready to go.

She only hoped she was ready to spend several days alone with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm VERY appreciative for those who drop me reviews and kudos. Y'all are fantastic and keep me motivated to finish this thing sooner rather than later. :-)


	19. Into The Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a plan for aiding Kylo in his quest to find himself.

“We need a place that’s easily defensible, preferably only one way in and one way out,” Kylo said the moment the bunker door closed behind them. “Have you found one?”

Rey shook her head. “I thought we’d head to the lake and then search from there. Our reach together is better than mine alone. And I thought you’d like to have a say where we go.”

He nodded his agreement and then started towards the lake at an easy jog, knowing by now what her prefered speed was when they went out to exercise. She fell in behind him, not saying another word, though her presence remained in his mind.

Her emotions were a jumble this morning, and so were his. It became difficult to separate some of his feelings from Rey’s. He felt disappointment, irritation, and unease. But mixed in with those things he understood, there was anxiety, hope, and fear. But what was she afraid of? Him? He thought his relatively benign presence over the past two weeks had finally meant a measure of trust had fallen between them. It could be fear of what she was about to attempt, creating her own lightsaber. If the process went wrong, it could lead to an explosion of the crystal, one more powerful than what had happened on Snoke’s ship. He knew that Jedi and Sith both had died attempting to create lightsabers. 

He would not let that happen to Rey. 

They came to the lake before they exchanged another word. Rey dropped her pack on their rock and then stood still, eyes closed, reaching out to the world around them. Kylo stood close behind her and found her Force signature, stretching out like wild vines growing on a forest floor. He joined the search, his powers tighter and more controlled, expanding her reach. 

She found a thicket and showed him an image, but he discarded it. He found a rocky outcropping, but they both decided it was too exposed, and then she found a small cave. It had been used as a den for a large predator once, but as they explored it with their minds they agreed it would work. 

It would take several hours to make it there, on foot, but Kylo knew that would be better than going back for speeders, if there were any at the bunker. 

“It feels better this way,” Rey said, agreeing with his unspoken thought. “Like I’m doing actual work for once. It’s more natural.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything as he began to walk towards their cave. It was up on the sides of a small canyon, with an entrance that would require him to duck to get inside. There was no exit to the cave. It was dry, protected from the elements, and no bigger than the inside of her old AT-AT home. The canyon floor had a stream running through it, which would provide them with water, and he could build a fire at the mouth of the cave to keep them warm and stave off predators. Trees above the canyon would filter out the smoke, so no one nearby would find their camp.

He set his mind to preparing the cave for their stay, which may be several days depending on Rey’s strengths and abilities. Every aspect of building a lightsaber required the use of the Force and extreme mental concentration. Some masters didn’t eat or sleep, others took frequent breaks. Whatever the case for Rey, he would be there to support her. 

Rey allowed their first hour walking to pass in silence, her mind working busily on her own thoughts, but she was the one who spoke first. 

“Thank you for coming with me.”

He shrugged and didn’t look at her, though she now walked at his side. “It’s not like I had other things to do.”

She sighed and waved an insect away with her hand. “I know the lack of  _ doing _ things is getting to you. It’s starting to get to me. But the only way we can change things is if we come up with an objective we both agree on. I think Leia would give us a mission, if we asked for one. She can’t be too choosy right now, you know.”

Kylo shook his head. “She’ll never trust me to perform any task for her.”

“I don’t think you give her enough credit,” Rey said, her expression showing her usual optimism again. “I think she could trust you again. Someday.”

“I could never trust her.” He surprised himself by admitting it out loud, and when Rey looked at him incredulously he realized it was the last thing she expected to hear too. “The woman lied to me,” he said slowly, trying to form his explanation as he spoke. “She lied my whole life about who she was, and who I was. I didn’t find out about Vader until after the rest of the galaxy did. Leia was doing damage control when she sent me a message, a  _ recorded _ message, about who my grandfather was.”

“It’s hard to blame her, though,” Rey said after a beat of silence. 

He had to tamp down the desire to roll his eyes. Of course, Rey would take Leia’s side. Did her hero worship of these people know no bounds?

Rey must have sensed his antagonism. “Ben, she’s your mother, sure, but you have to think what the knowledge of Vader did to  _ her _ . Everyone knows the stories about her capture by him, her torture, the execution order. All of that happened and that’s how Han Solo and Luke Skywalker met her. But people gloss over the details. She was hunted and captured, She was  _ tortured. _ She watched her planet get blown up with everyone she loved on it.” Rey shook her head. “She was betrayed by her  _ father _ , and didn’t even know it until it was too late to get answers or make amends.” Rey’s voice cracked on the last word and she stopped.

Kylo paused in his steps and held his water out to her, since hers was in her bag still. She took a drink, trying to brush off the emotions her speech caused. She was obviously thinking about  _ her _ parents as she spoke. 

“Besides,” she added at last, handing him back his water. “She didn’t want who Vader was to determine her future. Aren’t you the one who told me to let the past die? How is that any different than what Leia, Han, and Luke all tried to do? They put the past behind them. They didn’t want anyone to judge Luke and Leia on who their father was. From what Cairn’s told me, once people found out, Leia was useless to the senate and no one wanted to trust Luke anymore, either.”

“I’m not the rest of the galaxy,” he said, resuming their walk at a quicker pace. “I’m her son. I  _ was _ her son.” His hands, devoid of gloves, clenched into fists, angry at his slip of tongue. “I deserved to understand my heritage.”

“She already sensed the darkness in you,” Rey said, having to lope alongside him to keep up. “Luke told me. She sent you to be with him because she was scared that she’d mess up, make another Vader, because she didn’t understand her father. She hadn't been able to forgive him. Luke had. So there was a chance that Luke could see past the darkness and help  _ you _ like he did his father.”

Kylo stopped and reached out a hand to grab her wrist, pulling her to a stop beside him. “Is there a reason we have to talk about this now?” he asked, his breathing heavier than it should be, given their low level of physical activity. 

Rey met his eyes and then looked down to where he held her. He sighed and released her at once, then kept walking.

She caught up to him again. She reached out, grabbing his hand, and laced her fingers through his. 

“I’m fine,” he muttered, thinking she was trying to calm him as she had with Chewbacca.

“I know.” Her fingers tightened slightly around his. “But there’s something else I want to talk about, and you might not be fine when I do.”

He  glanced down at her, then at their joined hands, and kept trudging through the forest. “This isn’t exactly great for hiking.”

“We’ll manage.” She didn’t say anything else, but she kept up with him, walking around trees, across small clearings, and stepping over rocks. They were both athletic enough that holding hands didn’t slow them down, and she continued to channel her more positive emotions into their bond. He wanted to make her stop, but then he’d have to relinquish her hand.

In all honesty, Kylo had to admit to himself that being in physical contact with Rey gave him greater peace than he’d felt in a very long time. As master of the Knights of Ren, he didn’t touch people. No one touched him, ever. Even his medical needs were seen to by droids. He wore gloves and a mask. There was no physical contact with another living, breathing creature. 

Not until Rey. The first time, in a vision. Then, not again until their fight in the throne room. Back to back, the guards rushing them, Rey used him for support during that first strike, and his whole focus had changed. It made her rejection of his offer all the more crushing.

But now, trudging through the forests of Barrin, holding her hand, adjusted the universe in his mind again. The conflict within settled and all that mattered, at least for now, was Rey.

***

When they arrived at the canyon’s mouth, Rey and Ben climbed upward first and then made their way along a rocky path to the cave. The sun would be up for hours yet, as it was the middle of summer for this side of the planet, which gave them time to set up camp. 

“I’ll gather some firewood,” Ben told her, looking back the way they had come. “You ought to eat something. The more comfortable you are when you begin, the more you’ll be able to concentrate.”

Then he disappeared, leaving her to sort through their gear along with her thoughts. Rey had everything squared away and organized quickly, then went down to refill their water, scaling the canyon wall with ease. It wasn’t a very deep canyon, only about four and a half meters. She took extra time to splash the cool water on her face, back of her neck, and arms. Though their walk hadn’t been strenuous, it felt good to freshen up. Truly, any excuse she found to feel the sensation of water on her skin she would use. 

Ben returned, a bundle of wood tied to his back to make navigating the rock walls easier. He took off the pile of wood and dropped it at the mouth of the cave. She offered him water, which he took with no more than a brief nod of thanks. Then she held out packages of food they didn’t need to heat or rehydrate. Rey walked to the mouth of the cave and sat, her legs dangling down the wall, to eat. Ben ducked his head out and leaned against the rockface, staying on his feet. 

“There’s still time before dark. Are you going to begin tonight?” he asked, his eyes on his food rather than her.

“Not with the lightsaber.” Rey forced herself to eat, knowing she would need her strength for what came next, but she had no real appetite. “There’s something else I hoped we could work on.” She looked up, and up, at him, watching his eyebrows draw together in confusion, his lips form a perfectly straight line. 

“What could you possibly want to do all the way out here? Unless you finally intend to allow me to train you.” His eyebrows shot up at that possibility and she could only call his expression hopeful, seeing the minor lift to his eyes and the way his jaw relaxed at the idea. 

Rey shook her head and put her food aside. “Let me show you.” She went back into the cave and came out with her datapad. “Look. I’ve fixed one of the pages Cairn scanned, after I looked at the original.” She handed it to him and he traded her his now-empty food container. 

Ben scrolled down the text. “It’s an excerpt put in the text you own. Something from an entity called the Whills?”

“I’m uncertain about that part,” Rey said, leaning closer to point at a particular line. “But look what this says.”

“‘Incorporeal Spirits of the Force,’” he read. “‘Visions of darkness and visions of light are bestowed on many, but visitations of those released by death into the Force are more rare. When seeking out these visitations, one must go on a journey as a spirit, leaving the living host behind, finding guidance and answers to wisdom past.’”

Ben looked up at her and tilted his head to one side, taking her in with his usual impassive expression. “Force ghosts. Skywalker saw a few. Old Kenobi, Yoda, and Anakin Skywalker. Or so he claimed.” 

“They showed themselves to him, though, right?” Rey felt her excitement building and could hardly keep from fidgeting as she stood next to him, leaning slightly against his arm. “This passage implies that we could go  _ looking _ for Force beings. I thought we’d try.”

Ben straightened and looked directly down his nose at her, his forehead wrinkling and his lips pursing slightly. “You’re serious. You want to go looking for ghosts?”

“Not just any ghost, or spirit, or incorporeal-whatever. I want to find Anakin Skywalker.”

He started shaking his head before she could even finish the name. “He won’t come to us. I’ve tried, again and again, but he only appeared to me once, in a vision.”

“Exactly. We’re going to him.” Rey took the datapad and walked back inside the cave. “Listen to what it says later, after the excerpt. It says, ‘While meditation is a spiritual exercise, it can be a more powerful tool, allowing for the user to remove oneself from body and become one with the Force, for a time, enhancing the ability to understand the will of the Force.’ I mean, it’s repetitive, but I think when you read it, the explanation is pretty clear.”

Ben came in behind her, hunched over slightly to fit inside. “Rey,” he said, “I’ve never heard of anything like this being done. It sounds like you want to leave your body here and go knock on the Force’s door?”

She pulled her bedroll over and sat on it. “Yes. Honestly, Ben, I think you and I have already done something like this. Our meetings, in the past. How else can you explain what happened? It was like we were in the same place, connected by the Force. The physical space didn’t matter because of this bond.”

“That doesn’t sound like the same thing.” He hesitated but came to sit on the floor of the cave next to her. “We still had control of our physical bodies and remained in our surroundings.”

“I know. But shouldn’t even that much be impossible? Given our bond, and the power we share when we act together, I think we can do this.”

“Rey, you’ve never removed your soul from your body. How do you hope to just  _ sit  _ here and accomplish it?” He sounded exasperated and raised his hands to shove his hair back, giving Rey a brief glimpse of his ears, which he normally kept hidden behind the dark curtain of his hair. 

“No, I hope that  _ we _ will sit here and accomplish it.” She looked to the opening of the cave and gestured with one hand, concentrating her will on the tumble of rocks near the opening, pulling the together to seal up the entrance. “There. See. We even have a safe place to work.” 

She heard him sigh and shift, and a moment later he lit up the space with a light taken from his pack. He didn’t look any more sure than he had a moment before, but she saw the curiosity in his eyes. 

“How will we begin?”

“This is where you’re going to have to relax, Ben. We have to start with meditation.” She ventured to smile at him, leaning forward slightly with her hands up on her knees. “And I know you’re out of practice.”

He huffed and shook his head, but assumed a similar position to hers, facing her. He turned his palms up and closed his eyes. Rey moved closer and his eyes shot open. Her knees touched his and she reached for his hands. She was grateful the light he’d chosen cast a bluish glow over the room, which would likely hide the blush she felt coming into her cheeks. Touching him was becoming easier, but every time they made contact, she felt a rush along her skin like tiny lightning bolts.

“I think the physical contact will help, actually.”

And there, for the first time, she saw a hint of Ben Solo’s smile. It was brief, no more than a quick upward tug on the corners of his lips, but it happened. Rey’s heart sped up and she swallowed, snapping her eyes shut quickly. She didn’t want him to see how it affected her, though he must suspect how long she’d waited for that sight. 

His hands turned to cup hers beneath his open palms, allowing them both to relax into the most basic meditation pose. After several deep breaths, Rey had control of her heart again, and she reached into the space she shared with Ben. 

_ He was already there, waiting, tall and imposing, his arms folded over his chest. The skepticism snapped around him like an irritated insect. _

_ “I think you need to at least try to believe this will work,” Rey said as she approached him.  _

_ “Try not. Do, or do not.” _

_ She blinked at him. “What?” _

_ “Something Skywalker used to say.” Ben shrugged and relaxed his stance, allowing his arms to drop to his side. “We’re in each other’s minds. We’ve accomplished that often enough. But how do we step out of this space and into another plane of existence? I just don’t see how it will work, Rey.” _

_ Rey looked in the vast space around them. “I think it will be less about escaping this space and more about inviting the rest of the universe in.”  _

_ He arched his dark eyebrows and opened his arms to the place around them. “How?” _

_ “We drop all the barriers.”  _

_ Ben Solo shook his head and lifted his chin. “What barriers?” _

_ “All of them.” Rey let her breath out slowly and put a hand on her head. “Here, and here.” She put her hand on her heart. “I know it might sound ridiculous, but I’m willing to go first.” _

_ He raised a hand, his expression changing to one of near-fear. “You don’t have to--”  _

_ But Rey, afraid of leaving things unsaid, terrified of being alone again, had made her decision. The shields were lowered and everything was there, if he wanted to look.  _

_ In that place between the physical world and their minds, Rey watched as the man who had been part of her nightmares, and then became her only support, stood and absorbed the things she’d managed to keep from him. This was no invasive delve into her mind for information, no reading of the emotions too strong to keep in check, but an offer of herself to him. She didn’t know how else to do it, how to say the things she needed to say, expressing her hopes and fears. _

_ Not too long ago, he had said everything to her in one word. “Please.” And she turned away from him. Now, revealing everything of herself to him, her hesitations, her hopes and fears, she knew she opened herself up for the worst kind of rejection.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What lovely things will be revealed in Rey's mind and heart, I wonder? How will Kylo Ren react? Will they make contact with Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader?


	20. Walking Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I keep my darkness bound,” she said softly. “And you tend the light within you, just enough that it doesn’t die completely out.”
> 
> He swallowed and nodded, clutching her hand more tightly. “You walk in the Light. I walk in the Darkness.” He spoke his fear, now that she already knew it, had seen and felt it with him. 
> 
> “How can there ever be a place for us to walk together?”

Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, sat on a cave floor with his knees against a young scavenger's, her hands cupped in his, and their minds entwined in a way he could never have imagined.

_ He took a single step forward, his heart thudding in his chest like a hammer as the wave of Rey’s thoughts, memories, and emotions washed over him. It was overwhelming, but beautiful. In his mind’s eye, watching her let her guard down completely for the first time in her life, he saw everything.  _

_ He saw  _ **_her_ ** _.  _

_ She glowed, brighter than any star he’d ever seen, yet there was the Darkness he knew, hovering just inside her. It was part of her, but it did not consume her, control her, or dim her shine. Rey’s darkness would not overtake the amount of light within her soul.  _

_ Her pain made her stronger, her broken and lonely heart made her compassionate, and her only true conflict existed when she thought of him. She saw the man, Ben Solo, where he insisted only Kylo Ren could stand. The hurt and confusion this dual identity caused her surprised him. But for all the sorrows and difficulties in her life, the Dark side held no sway over her.  _

_ How could that be, when he felt it clinging to his soul every waking moment? _

_ Determined to give her a measure of privacy, Kylo did not examine any single thought or emotion too closely, except for the cord of feeling he found regarding him. It reached from her and wrapped around him like a golden thread in the midst of the flooding of his mind.  _

_ That golden string, when he examined it more closely, became an intricate weaving of many smaller threads, each stronger than the last, wrapped about each other. Her feelings for him were more complex than she let on. She had compassion for him, for his hurts and failings, she stood in awe of his power and strength, she had determined to be a friend and support to him, and Rey understood him as no other being ever could.  _

_ But at the center of this cord, carefully protected and concealed, was a strand of light and dark spiraling from her heart to his. _

Kylo opened his eyes and dropped Rey’s hands, moving backward and sucking in a deep breath of air, feeling like a drowning man.

Rey didn’t open her eyes at once, though their connection had been broken. Instead, she lowered her head and turned away, the muscles in her jaw pulled tight and her throat working to swallow back her emotion. She moved stiffly, scooting until she could lean her side against the wall, and when she squeezed her eyes shut more tightly, a teardrop escaped from beneath her eyelashes. 

They sat in silence while he processed all her felt and saw, his eyes staying on her form, huddled against the wall like a wounded creature. 

Had it pained her so much to reveal these things to him? He lowered his guard, which he had raised the moment he dropped her hand, afraid of what she might sense from him, and attempted to understand her reaction.

Humiliation had completely engulfed her.

“Rey,” he said, his heart remembering the moment she rejected his pleas to join him. As clumsy as he had been then, he had made an even greater mess of this situation between them. His hasty withdrawal from what amounted to her most sincere confession had harmed her. 

Kylo moved across the cave, though it was difficult considering he had to stay on his hands and knees to get to her quickly. This time, he didn’t put his hand out for her to take, he did not wait for her to move, he acted on pure instinct and wrapped his arms around her waist and shoulders, drawing her into his lap. 

From the moment he first saw her, in the forests of Takodana, she had been strong, resilient, brave in the face of danger. But here, after laying her heart open to him, she had broken at last. And Kylo understood why. There was no being in the galaxy as capable as he was of hurting her, or bringing her joy.

“I care about you,” she whispered into his chest as she buried her face in the front of his shirt. “And it frightens me that all we’ll ever do is hurt each other.”

His arms tightened around her, he kissed the top of her head, and murmured softly to her, “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

He’d watched his parents wound each other, constantly, despite their affection for one another. His mother would snip at his father’s choices, his friends, his intelligence, and his father would leave. Then he’d stay gone, and Ben would wait for him, night after night watching the stars and waiting to see that familiar ship return to the skies of whichever world his mother had decided needed her help. As he grew older, his parents grew more distant. They argued about the New Republic, about her senatorial duties, his racing, and about Ben.  _ What do we do about Ben? _ That was a common theme in his juvenile years. 

He knew about hurting the person you loved most in the galaxy. His parents did it to each other, and to him. But she hadn’t said love. Not yet. Even if both of them  _ knew,  _ and felt it at their cores. That sweet word, that damaging, damning word, had not been so much as whispered between them.This both relieved Kylo and tore at his heart.

“What do  _ you  _ want?” she asked, her hands clinging to the front of his shirt. 

Of all the things he could say, Kylo knew only one answer would suffice. “I want you,” he said at last, bending to say the words directly into her ear, revealing his greatest truth. “And I will do whatever I must to keep you.” 

Her body began to relax; she turned to lay her cheek against his chest and her breath shuddered through one last sob. “I don’t know how to do this. Any of it. The Force, the Resistance. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I’ve never had to think of more than myself before, but now it’s like the whole galaxy is on top of my shoulders.”

“Imagine being Supreme Leader for a day,” he muttered. When she chuckled he felt his heart lift. He’d made her smile, with nothing more than a line worthy of his father. He thought it best to continue along this vein. Rey’s emotional state was tenuous, she was frayed and worn from her revelation. It could be studied it greater depth at another time. “It’s about delegation, you understand. You need some underlings.”

“Minions?” she said, a trace of humor back in her voice. “To do my bidding?”

“Something like that. I could loan you Cairn, if you’d like to practice.” He ran a hand up and down her arm, hoping she gesture would be soothing, fearing he did even this part wrong. 

“Technically, you’re both my prisoners, so I already own Cairn. And you.”

His heart lifted and he smirked, enjoying her quick wit. “Fine. You can start now. Which part of the galaxy would you like me to worry about, to take some of the load off?”

Her shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug and she blew out a long breath from between her lips. “I’m not sure. I’m open to suggestions.” She pushed herself back, just enough to look up at him, her eyes still glistening in the blue light. “I don’t know if I can continue tonight. But I think we can find a way to contact your grandfather through the Force.”

He nodded, not willing to engage her in another debate on the subject. Her emotions were raw, her honesty had taken its toll on her physically as well. Her whole body felt taught, as if her muscles were brittle bands ready to snap at the slightest pressure. 

“Rest. We can try again, when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.” She lowered her head and gently removed herself from his lap. He moved off her bed roll and went to find his own, standing against one wall of the cave. He spread it out nearer the entrance, which he cleared the rocks from in order to build a fire. It was dark outside, with stars shining above them. They’d already spent hours in the cave, though it seemed like mere minutes. 

Once the fire was going, Kylo wrapped himself in his blankets and sat up against the wall, his eyes on the fire, his senses stretched out in a perimeter around their shelter. Rey hunkered down in her bed roll, falling into a deep and troubled sleep quickly. He waited, feeling her turmoil for a time, before he reached out with a hand and his powers. He concentrated on finding the thread that bound them, sending his suggestion along that line, hoping to ease her into a more peaceful realm of dreams. 

_ Sleep, _ he commanded, and her body stilled, her breathing became more even. 

And Kylo was left to himself, sorting out his responses to her revelations and allowing himself to to smile when he remembered her whispered confession, her caring for him. Though he had done hardly anything to deserve her compassion, and plenty to earn her hatred, Rey had given him a precious gift When she woke, he knew he must return the gesture, lowering his defenses at last, and placing his soul before her for examination. 

Not long ago, he would’ve felt confident in such a move, unashamed of all he’d done to become Kylo Ren. But now, alone in this cave with Rey, desiring her good opinion and trust, he recoiled from the thought of what she would see. 

It was only minutes before dawn, when she woke. Rey stretched first, her arms reaching over her head and her toes, still in her boots from the night before, pointed outward. Kylo had never seen anyone find such luxury in stretching, but her satisfied smile as all her muscles pulled taut and relaxed was obvious. Then her eyes opened, wide and awake, and he watched her smile.

Did she wake up every morning with a smile already in place?

But after her eyes took in the cave ceiling, the smile turned to a puzzled frown, then her eyes widened as she must have remembered where she was. Rey turned her head towards him, her arms still overhead. “Oh,” she said. In the faint light from the fire, he couldn’t tell if she was blushing, but the way she bit her lip and looked away gave him some indication of her feelings. 

“Good morning,” he said, unabashedly staring at her. After all that has passed between them, Kylo was surprised he could still be fascinated by her, still wonder what secrets she held. 

“Good morning. Did you sleep at all?”

He shook his head. “You needed it more. I have the feeling I’ll need it later today.” He pushed the blankets off and stepped outside to get the kinks in his back, finally able to stretch to his full height. Being as tall as he was, it often made it difficult for him to be comfortable in confined spaces. Rey’s head brushed the top of the cave, allowing her to stand upright, but he had to bend nearly in half to get inside. 

As he loosened his muscles from a night spent leaning against a rock wall, his eyes took in the surrounding beauty of canyon and plants, and the sounds of rushing water. There must have been a storm upstream, as the water ran faster today. It still wasn’t strong enough to harm a full grown human, but the sound was more turbulent, echoing off the little canyon. 

Rey stepped outside, her eyes turning up to him. “Breakfast?”

“Sure.” 

They said little as they went about the usual morning rituals, and both descended to the stream to wash. Storm clouds moved in from the north, the direction the water flowed from. When they were back inside the cave, and the rocks sealed them in, a rumble of thunder sounded in the distance. 

Rey took her place in front of Kylo, assuming her meditation pose, and Kylo sat in front of her. This time he reached for her hands, holding them tightly within his. He met her eyes and she smiled, a little self-consciously, before tucking a loose piece of hair back behind her ear. She’s taken the time to pull her hair back into a low tail, instead of her customary buns. 

“Shall we?” he said. Rey nodded and closed her eyes, giving him a moment to watch the serene expression return to her face before he closed his eyes. 

_ This time, when they returned to their shared space, it was full of light and warmth, overtaken by Rey’s mind and heart. Her shields remained open to him, her confidence stronger, she stood before him clothed in something resembling her scavenger clothing, but it was bright and clean.  _

_ Kylo stared at her, looking into her coppery-brown eyes. She held her hand out to him and smiled, tilting her head to the side.  _

_ “I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” _

_ Those words, last spoken by him in an interrogation chamber, echoed in his heart and mind. They had been careening towards this moment their whole lives. Everything that made him the man he’d become, every step he took down a path he arrogantly assumed he forged on his own, brought him nearer to her.  _

_ He was afraid. Afraid that when he let her in, she would recoil from him. She would stop reaching out. Stop trying to save him. _

_ Kylo didn’t think he needed to be saved. But that someone would try, after all these years, after everything he’d done, to rescue him from the Darkness, made him feel hope. He’d been alone almost his whole life. Rey could change that.  _

_ But only if he let her in. Let her see into his depths. Then she would have to choose to stay or give up on him, just like everyone else.  _

_ His well-constructed, carefully-tended shields began to fall. His were not a hastily constructed wall, as her mental shields had been, but there were layers and layers of doors sealed up in his mind and heart. Lowering each one, drawing her deeper into his soul, felt like stripping bare on a battlefield.  _

_ The pain of Snoke’s teaching methods and punishments whipped across their bond, followed closely by his arrogance when he meted out harsh judgements on dozens of worlds. She felt his anguish at killing Han Solo, the depths of his despair when he realized he was well and truly alone.  _

_ Everything was open to her. Including the space in his mind and heart where she resided, a quiet flame, burning white-hot and constant. For Rey, their connection was a bond from her heart to his. For Keylo, she was life-giving fire in the coldness of his soul.  _

_ Their shared space shifted, no longer filled with light, but shot-through with dancing shadows. The surroundings in this special place, a place only they could occupy, reminded him of what it would look like to stand beneath a canopy of trees on a moon-bright night. They were light and dark, silvery shadows and blue night’s sky.  _

_ And Rey, in her robes of light, looked up at him with a new kind of tenderness and understanding.  _

_ “Do you feel it?” she whispered. _

_ “I’ve always felt it,” he answered, guiding her closer, but carefully. She had not recoiled in disgust or fled in terror. If anything, she looked awed by all she had learned of him. “When I’m near you.” _

_ “I keep my darkness bound,” she said softly. “And you tend the light within you, just enough that it doesn’t die completely out.” _

_ He swallowed and nodded, clutching her hand more tightly. “You walk in the Light. I walk in the Darkness.” He spoke his fear, now that she already knew it, had seen and felt it with him. “How can there ever be a place for us to walk together?” _

_ “That’s what we’re going to find out,” she told him firmly. Rey looked away from him and gasped, softly. “Look.” _

_ Kylo looked, not expecting to see anything in what had been the blank canvas of their minds. But he saw it, too. The trees he’d thought he imagined, filtering moonlight, were there, along with a curving path disappearing into the shadows.  _

_ “What is it?” Rey asked.  _

_ “I’m not certain.” The Force, the energy of life, creation, death, power, and all things in the galaxy, had manifested itself in strange ways when it came to Rey and Kylo. He knew it wasn’t done with them yet. “We’d better find out.” _

***

_ Although Rey knew they were physically sitting on a cave floor, in the middle of the forest, she couldn’t feel it anymore. She wasn’t aware of her body beyond the corporeal manifestation she had conjured in her mind. Ben stood with her, wearing all black, including his cape, but his hand remained bare and in hers.  _

_ Together, they went towards the path. _

_ She’d hoped this would happen, though she couldn’t even be sure how to explain it. By dropping their shields, by removing all mental blocks to each other, they’d also opened themselves up completely to the guidance and influence of the Force.  _

_ And the Force was honoring their sacrifice and giving them a very literal path to follow. _

_ But this wasn’t a typical vision. It wasn’t confusing, vague, or a blink-and-gone-again experience.  _

_ The forest was like the one on Takodana, with trees and boulders scattered through it. But here, it was night, and she was not being hunted. The creature in the mask was now her companion. They walked together, ready to face what came. _

_ “Reach for Anakin Skywalker,” she told him. “For Darth Vader. Maybe we can draw him to us.” _

_ And Ben reached. His mind swam with darkness and confusion, a memory of a powerful Sith Lord standing with him, ordering him to finish what was started, completing his legacy by bringing the galaxy under control.  _

_ The darkness around them increased as they walked, choking out the light filtering through the branches, and Rey’s heart grew cold. She drew closer to Ben; her arm wrapped around his and her hip pressing against his thigh with every step. _

_ When she drew breath, ice crystals formed in her lungs and she hissed out vapor. The skin on her arms prickled and her body began to shiver.  _

_ Ben kept walking, his heart concentrating on the Sith and the dark powers they wielded. Lightning crackled in the trees, making a popping sound that caused Rey to jump.  _

_ Her heart sank and her hope diminished. Ben was calling for Vader, and the way the forest was reacting gave her every reason to believe the Sith lord was coming, dragged into existence by the exertion of two young Force-wielders with no clue what they were doing.  _

_ She looked up at Ben and saw his eyes glossing over and his mouth moving, lips forming silent words she did not understand. She knew the Sith had their own language. Did Ben speak it? Was he using it to conjure up the dead spirit of an evil man? _

_ He stilled, his breath rasping out of him, and his eyes widened in fear. Rey looked back towards the path and her heart thudded painfully, quickly, in her chest.  _

_ A black-robed being stood, blocking their way, legs and arms apart. Lightning crackled around it and malice leaked from its cloak into the air around them.  _

_ Ben cried out and dropped to his knees, pulling her down with him, and she could sense his despair. She looked and saw the tears in his eyes, the broken bend to his shoulders. The little flame in his heart, where he tended the light, flickered dangerously low.  _

_ “Who are you to come summoning spirits in the realm of the dead?” a voice rasped, the sound slithering to them in the still air. “How do you draw us here?” _

_ Rey’s ears perked and she glanced around, fear holding her in its grasp. “Us?” _

_ “We are many. We are Darkness. We are held together by our wills. We will never die.” _

_ There was only one figure, but Rey realized that the rasping was not one voice, but many, layered on top of each other, speaking weakly but together. The hideous creature before her must be made of many dark things. Sith and other creatures, filled with enough hatred to find each other and bind themselves together in this terrifying form.  _

_ Ben spoke at last, his voice strong as he started, though his arm trembled in her grasp. “I am seeking Darth Vader.” _

_ The figure hissed again, withdrawing a step, and anger saturated the air like acrid smoke. “Vader. The Dark Lord. Vader. The Betrayer. Vader, the Chosen One.” _

_ The shadows began closing in, the figure before them raised what might have been a hand to point at them. “You have found your destruction.” The light dimmed and pain rippled through Ben to her, his arm slipped away from her, his grip on her hand weakened.  _

_ “No!” Rey turned to him as he fell, trying to hold him upright but failing. He was so much larger than she was. Even here, in a place without true physical form, she couldn’t hold him. He collapsed onto the path and began convulsing. The dark thing, the strange creatures, began moving closer.  _

_ Could Ben die here? If this thing touched his soul, would his body perish when she came to in the cave? Rey knew, with a stab of icy certainty, that if she lost him here she would not have him when she awoke. _

_ “He thinks he’s strong,” the horrific hissing voices said. There was cackling, less coordinated than the spoken words. “He thinks Vader’s blood makes him strong. He is weak. We will feed on him. His power becomes ours.” _

_ Rey felt Ben slipping away from her, and her vision grew dark. It was harder to breathe, harder to move, but she knew she could not let that thing touch him. Rey forced her feet beneath her and pushed herself up, staggering under the weight of the black shadows pressing in against them.  _

_ “Stay back,” she yelled, reaching for a lightsaber she did not have.  _

_ They cackled still louder, a sound like shrieking birds of prey. “Who is she? Who is she to challenge us? We are many. We are Sith, we are Witches, we are Wraiths.” The hand stretched out towards Ben, lying helpless on the ground _

_ “No!” Rey moved in front of him with aching slowness, but it was enough. She raised her hands out, towards the creature and the darkness, and she shouted into the void. “I am Rey, the Awakened, the Last Jedi, and I walk in the Light. Ben Solo is under my protection and you  _ **will not** _ touch him.” _

_ As she spoke, the light within her grew, and grew, until it encompassed her and Ben like a forcefield. But that was not enough. She pushed her light further, gritting her teeth, sweat springing up on her brow. She raised her hands and growled until the light obeyed, growing beyond her, and engulfing the horrid shadow-creature, causing it to shriek in pain before it burst into white flames. Only when the echoes of its pathetic screams ended, when silence reigned again, did Rey lower her arms and look to Ben. _

_ He was kneeling behind her, having pushed himself up at some point, watching her. His expression was as somber as ever, but in his eyes she saw hope and a reflection of her light.  _

_ She held her hand out and he took it, coming to his feet beside her, looking at her as if she was his whole world.  _

_ “Those are impressive titles,” he said quietly, giving her hand a squeeze. “Rey the Awakened. I like it.” _

_ Her smile felt wobbly. _

_ Without another word, they looked to the path and began walking again.  _

_ And the world grew lighter around them, as though the moon they could not see brightened, becoming a sun, casting golden shadows on the path.  _

_ Rey reached out with her mind, searching before them, looking for threats and hoping to find a Jedi. Ben had not summoned Darth Vader, but something had heard his dark calls and came out to seek its source. That gave her renewed hope that Vader no longer existed, in any form. _

_ Then, there was someone else on the path, walking towards them. _

_ Two someones, Rey realized, walking hand-in-hand. Like her and Ben. _

_ “Who are they?” he whispered to her, his hand tightening around hers.  _

_ She perceived no threat from them. As they drew closer, she saw it was a man and a woman. They both emitted a faint golden glow, like firelight. He was tall, with light-colored hair and bronzed skin. She was petite, with dark hair flowing down her shoulders and back. They were dressed simply, in robes that reminded her of Jedi clothing. The woman had stars in her hair. _

_ They stopped, only a couple of meters from Rey and Ben, who also stood still.  _

_ “I didn’t think there would be any further need for me,” the man said, his voice gentle and kind. “I left the mortal world behind. I joined with the Force. I found Padme.” He looked down at the woman, love in his eyes, as he said her name. “I’ve been unaware of what happened in your plane of existence. Until now. Until I felt you calling me.” _

_ Rey realized they stood before Anakin Skywalker, a man shrouded in mystery, his legacy a curse upon their galaxy. But she could not bring herself to be angry with him. He looked peaceful. He was happy.  _

_ She looked up at Ben, feeling his confusion and hope through their bond.  _

_ “You’ve never seen me before?” he asked, his voice choked and soft. “Do you know who I am?” _

_ “I do,” Anakin said, his expression changing from only pleasant to one full of happiness. His eyes glowed and his lips turned up in a joyful smile. “You’re Leia’s son. Our grandson.” _

_ Padme, the woman who had stood so still beside him, now took a step closer, releasing the hand of her husband. “Ben,” she said, raising both hands up, she cupped his face in her hands.  _

_ Rey didn’t think she’d ever seen anyone so beautiful, and she watched in awe as Padme drew Ben’s face towards hers until she could place a kiss on his forehead. It was then she could see Leia in the woman’s eyes. She had a mother’s eyes, full of tenderness.  _

_ “You are loved, Ben,” Padme said softly, staring into his eyes. “You always have been. Luke has come to us. He found us. He told us everything.” She took her hands away from his face and Rey saw tears fall from the woman’s eyes. “I am sorry you have walked alone for so long.” _

_ Anakin came closer, though Rey sensed his hesitation. His joy was tempered with a sorrow she could feel, rippling through the Force like a gentle breeze. Padme withdrew enough for Anakin to stand before his grandson, his eyes taking in Ben with pride.  _

_ “You’re taller than I am,” he said, half-smirking. “But I can forgive that, I think. I can also forgive the mistakes you’ve made. You know I made many more. But, Ben, it’s not too late for you, as it almost was for me.” He reached out and clasped Ben’s shoulders, looking into his eyes. “Do you know why I turned to Darkness and ruin?” _

_ “To save the one you loved,” Ben answered. “To bring order to a galaxy in chaos.” _

_ “The Dark promised me that Padme could be saved. It promised me that I could make a new world, bring peace to every living being. I was told I was the Chosen One, that I could bring balance to the Force. That was vanity. Pride. Arrogance. The Force is already balanced, Ben. It didn’t need me. The prophecies and visions were misinterpreted. And the Dark Side lies. By its very nature, it is destructive. Those who wish to wield it are corrupted by the lust for power, and they will do anything, promise anything, to gain their ends.” _

_ Padme shifted and drew Rey’s attention, and Rey realized the delicately shaped woman was staring directly at her, a knowing smile on her face. Then she looked back to the men and asked, “What were you promised, Ben?” _

_ His eyes turned to her, longing in his face. “I was promised knowledge. Power.” He swallowed. “I was promised an end of secrecy. And a place I would belong, where I would be honored.” _

_ “Those are the promises made to a young man who felt lost, alone, and powerless in his life,” Padme said softly. “I am sorry, Ben.” _

_ Anakin sighed and reached out, embracing his grandson. Rey heard him speak, though his voice was softer now. “All of this, I could have prevented. Do you see, Ben? If I would have stayed on the right path, if I would have stepped away from the Jedi to love my wife as she deserved, if I would have denied the Sith access to my abilities, it would have been different for all of us. I’m sorry.” _

_ Ben’s arms came up slowly and he returned the embrace. “I forgive you, Grandfather,” he said at last.  _

_ Anakin chuckled and stepped back, wiping at his eyes. “Good. Thank you.” He turned and looked at Rey. “And thank you, for bringing him. Though you cannot stay much longer, and you must never come back.” _

_ Rey opened her mouth to argue, to ask questions, but Anakin raised a hand to silence her. _

_ “This is a journey most make only once, when they join with the Force. Already, your physical bodies have grown weak and cold. Your souls have been gone a long time. You need to go back. But you’ve accomplished your purpose, haven’t you, Rey?” _

_ “How--how do you know me?” she asked, her eyes going from his to Padme’s, seeing their warm smiles. Her heart lifted to be included in their kindness and the light of their love.  _

_ “Because you are worth knowing,” Padme said softly. She approached and wrapped Rey in a warm embrace. “You have lived alone, you’ve often been afraid, but you’ve always done what’s right. You have a special place in many hearts.” _

_ Rey hesitated a moment, a question on her lips, and she looked up at Anakin, then at Ben. She couldn’t ask it. She’d already been hurt once by the answer. _

_ But Ben’s eyes softened and he reached out to take her hand. “Do you know where Rey’s family is?” he asked. _

_ Anakin shook his head, but his smile turned into a full grin. “I’m not all-knowing just because I’m dead. But I have a feeling that you two will figure it out. Besides, as far as I’m concerned, she can be part of ours.” _

_ Padme rolled her eyes and took his arm. “It may surprise you to know this, Ben, but your grandfather has only ever wanted what you want. To belong, to be loved, and to take care of those he loves. The Sith can corrupt even the purest intent.” _

_ “I have so much of their darkness in me,” Ben said, his voice cracking in anguish. “How can I avoid causing pain and suffering wherever I go? How can I deny that I am part of the Dark?” _

_ “Why do you have to deny it?” Anakin asked, tilting his chin up. “I walked a line, for years, and it was the corruption of the Sith and the ridiculous strictures of the Jedi that was my undoing. From what Luke has told us, you don’t have those problems anymore. You can choose your own path. The Dark Side of the Force isn’t evil; not anymore than a night’s sky is evil. Death isn’t evil. It’s part of Life. Destruction isn’t evil, it leads to rebirth. Violence isn’t evil. Have you ever seen a thunderstorm roll across a landscape? That is violence. But if you harnessed the power of a storm to bring rain to a drought-plagued land, wouldn’t that be a good thing?” _

_ “Luke tried to tell me that,” Rey said, her eyes shooting wide. “And I’ve been reading, in those books, about balance.” _

_ Anakin winked at her. “Then you’re going to have to help Ben to get there. Sounds like you have a head start. Neither of you have to sacrifice who you are to use the Force. Just use it more wisely than I did.” _

_ Padme squeezed her husband’s arm. “We have to let them go, Anakin, or they’ll never find their way back. It’s been too long.” _

_ He nodded and covered her hand with his. “I can send you back. Walking the path won’t help you make it in time. Your bodies need you.” _

_ “But I have so many questions,” Ben admitted, his voice plaintive, his eyes pleading.  _

_ “And you’ll find the answers on your own. Trust me, Ben.” Anakin looked to Rey and nodded. “Rey. Thank you both for coming. Now go, with our love, and don’t come back for at least sixty-standard years, okay?” He didn’t give them a chance to answer. He raised his free hand and made one quick gesture. _

Rey collapsed forward, into Ben’s chest, and his arms came up around her, holding her tightly to him. Her whole body tingled, painfully, as if every nerve had been electrocuted. Ben pulled her into his lap and she could feel the tremors in his muscles. She was painfully hungry, and thirsty, and exhausted. She looked up into the face of the man who’d once been her sworn enemy.

Ben leaned back against the cave wall and let out a long breath of air. He looked down and met her eyes, his soft and gentle in the low light of their lantern. “Thank you, Rey.”

She smiled, raising her hand to touch his cheek, which was rough with stubble. “I love you, Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there such a thing as fluffy-angst? Is that what this is? I've no idea. But I wrote it, and I like it. I hope you do, too.


	21. Kylo Ren is Dead, Long Live Ben Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relinquishing his assumed name, Ben Solo is reborn. But being a Skywalker-Solo has its own problems.

_ "I love you, Ben Solo.” _

Rey’s words slipped into his heart and nestled there, filling the dark spaces in his soul with her light. Hope glowed in her eyes and her lips turned up at the corners. Their journey into the wildlands of the Force had done more than answer his questions; it had given her the courage and assurance she needed to open up to him, to trust him. 

“Rey.” He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, her temple, her cheeks. His lips moved across her eyes and down to her lips. His brushed against hers softly at first, but when she leaned up, her hand sliding into his hair, he deepened the kiss.

She responded eagerly, her mouth meeting his kiss for kiss, until he knew they had to stop. Neither of them was in any condition for this. His hands trembled, his muscles remained weak, and her breathing was ragged. 

How long had they been away from the physical world?

“My scavenger,” he whispered against her lips, “I finally have you where I want you, and look at us. We can barely move.”

Her laugh was breathless and she lowered her forehead to his shoulder. “I guess we’d better wait until after we’ve eaten something.” Of course her mind would turn to food. He knew, in her previous life on Jakku, food was everything. When she didn’t scavenge enough, when she couldn’t afford to eat well, weakness nearly felled her. 

He pushed away those thoughts, swearing to himself she would never go hungry again.

“And we should see what day it is.” He put his bare hand on his chin, feeling the scruff of perhaps two days’ growth. He sighed and tipped his head back against the cave wall, stroking her arms with his hands. He felt exhausted and in no hurry to begin fulfilling the most immediate needs. Not with Rey in his arms, and wholly his, at last. 

The air in the cave was stale. They would need to breathe fresh air to gather their strength. Ben raised an unsteady hand toward the opening of the cave and began to move the rocks. It was more taxing than he would’ve liked, but when the job was done, they could see the sun shone brightly. He sighed and closed his eyes.

Ben Solo.

He supposed that was his name again.

His vision of Darth Vader calling him to a greater purpose, Snoke’s grand plans for him, had all been lies. His name, assumed at a turning point in his life, was a lie, too. Rey could never love Kylo Ren, but she’d already given her heart to Ben Solo, many times over. And he meant what he’d said. He would do anything to keep her. 

The darkness shifted inside him, adjusting to this thought, and the flame of light flickered brighter. It would never fully subdue the Dark, but there was hope in his heart. And hadn’t his mother always believed that where there was hope, all things were possible?

Rey’s hand raised and her water canister floated into it. She opened it, her knuckles white as she strained to turn the lid. She took a quick drink and handed it to him. She slid from his lap, on her hands and knees, and went to the food. “First thing we need is some fuel,” she muttered, picking up packages and crawling back to him. “And I’ll have mine cold. No reason to worry about a fire yet.”

He ripped a package open and dumped enough water in to hydrate the food inside, then did the same for her. They used their hands to eat the bread, some sort of vegetable, and protein. After just a few bites, Ben was feeling better. He could feel his body’s energy returning, albeit slowly. His stomach felt tight and shriveled. 

He reached out and picked up Rey’s datapad, discarded near their spot. He turned it on and checked the date stamp. He nearly choked on his rehydrated meal. “Rey, we’ve been in a trance for three days.”

Her eyes widened and she reached for the data pad, looking at it in some shock. She dropped her food and wiped her fingers on her clothes, then opened up the data pad and started flipping through screen after screen. She relaxed after a few swipes confirmed no one had tried to contact them. 

“We should get back, right?” she said, looking up at him, her eyes wide. “There isn’t time to worry about the lightsaber, too.”

Ben tilted his head to the side, taking in her worried expression. “In a hurry to go share our experience with your friends? You know they aren’t going to be thrilled. Or entirely trusting. Even if I’m no longer their enemy.”

Her smile appeared like a sunrise, slow and bright, and beautiful beyond description. “You’re not?”

He shook his head. “How could I continue as I was, knowing what I do about my grandfather? And seeing what becomes of Sith, in the end.” He repressed a shudder and put her now empty food container to the side. “Anakin Skywalker is at peace. He didn’t leave anything unfinished. And that thing we saw--You know Sith don’t have ghosts? It takes immense hatred for them to leave behind anything in the Force, even the faintest of impressions. Snoke told me I had the power to change that. But the only Sith manifestations I ever saw were tethered to tombs, or holocrons. They weren’t beings of any intelligence, just emotion. Malice. Hatred. Not like Anakin.”

He stretched his legs out before him and groaned at the stiffness in his muscles. “We need to get out of this cave.”

“Without falling down the canyon wall,” she added, scraping the last of her food up with her fingers. “But if we’ve been sitting here for three days, I’m thinking once we start moving, the need to get out of here will become urgent.” 

“We’d better try, then.” He stretched a little more and then stood, hunched over, and made his way out of the cave. It took a few minutes of being on the ledge, both of them moving their muscles slowly, before they were able to try the climb down. Ben slipped once, but Rey remained more sure-footed than him. They hit the ground and went for the trees first, but came back to the stream to wash.

He took off his outer vest, then stripped off his shirt. He felt her eyes on him and looked to see her taking in his bare skin with a blush. Ben couldn’t help feeling a little smug and he sent her a wink, making her blush more and look away. He tossed the clothes and took off his boots, socks, and began unfastening his pants. 

“Ben!” she snapped, turning away. “What--?”

“It’s been days, Rey. We both could use a bath.” Her modesty amused him, though he understood it. He’d rarely allowed anyone to glimpse him without his mask and gloves, but now he was prepared to strip down to nothing in front of this slip of a woman. It felt natural, given how much she knew of him and he of her. They already had more intimacy between them than couples who’d been married or mated for decades. 

But he went into the water before she turned again, making sure it covered him by sinking to his knees in the shallow currents. “You can look now,” he told her. 

Rey glanced over her shoulder cautiously and relaxed. “Great. Now, turn around.”

He followed her instructions, rolling his eyes skyward. But at the same time, he felt grateful the water was cold. 

He heard a splash and turned to see Rey, hunkering down as low as she could so only her chin hovered above the water. 

“It’s freezing!” she complained from between clenched, chattering teeth. 

The urge to tease her came naturally. “I could come warm you up, if you’d like.”

She squealed and backed up, stumbling onto her tail end. “No! Ben Solo, if you come near me right now, I’ll send you into the canyon wall. Just see if I don’t.”

In just three days, the whole galaxy had shifted. Everything he’d wanted before, all that he had dedicated his life to, no longer mattered. The relief he felt, having met Anakin Skywalker at last, understanding his legacy differently, coupled with the joy of Rey’s declaration of love and acceptance, bubbled up inside him and he threw his head back and laughed. 

It had been so long since he’d laughed. His ribs ached with the cold, the fatigue, and it was almost painful. But Ben didn’t let it stop him.

It felt  _ good _ to be happy.

When he opened his eyes, feeling more alive than he had in ages, he saw Rey staring at him. She was smiling, but there were tears in her eyes, too. She understood. She knew what the laugh meant and she was obviously pleased. 

“You’re amazing, Ben,” she said, lowering her eyes.

Their link was open, giving him full access to her thoughts and emotions. It was strange, but not as intrusive as their link originally felt. It reminded him of a memory, from long ago, when Leia and Han had looked at each other, seeming to silently communicate, arguing without a word, and coming to a conclusion. He and Rey didn’t needs words. Not any more. 

“But talking is still nice,” she said aloud, raising both her eyebrows at him. “And people won’t think we’re weird.”

“Oh, they’ll think we’re weird.” He smirked and then submerged himself, using his hands to scrub through his hair, removing the grime built up by their time in the cave. He came up again to see her taking her hair down in preparation to do the same. 

“I’m not weird,” she said, picking up their conversation where it was left. “Though I’m awkward at parties, I think.”

“Me too,” he told her. “Always have been. I don’t like crowds.”

Rey smiled  and ducked under the water. When she came up again, her hair dripping wet and droplets of water clinging to her lashes, he drew in a sharp breath. He couldn’t believe how fortunate he was, and how he nearly lost her. The Force raised an equal to him, someone to help him find balance and hope. And he’d been lucky enough that this singular being, the only one like her in the universe, was a species and gender he found attractive. 

His mind went back to his vision from long ago, a vision of he and Rey, locked in an embrace.

She started to blush, obviously getting the full mental picture from him. “Ben,” she said his name just loud enough to be heard over the running water. “I think we ought to dry off and head back. We can worry about the lightsaber another time.”

He moved closer and held his hand out to her, above the water. She looked at it, her cheeks going bright red, making her freckles stand out more. But then, tentatively, she put her fingers in his. He pulled her only a little closer, maintaining a small space between them, as grateful as she that the water wasn’t entirely clear. He bent closer, brushing a kiss across her lips. Then he released her and turned around, granting her the modesty she still clung to. 

Rey knew what they would become. She accepted it, even if she wasn’t ready yet. Ben could wait. Maybe not patiently, but he would do his best. 

He would also do his best to encourage her readiness every step of the way.

They broke up their camp, such as it was, after another meal. They filled their water containers and began the walk back to the bunker. The connection between them hummed with life and energy, linking them more powerfully than physical touch ever could. 

The return walk took a little longer than their journey to the cave, due to their exhaustion. They approached the bunker in the blue-gray of twilight. They’d taken several breaks along the way, eaten more, trying to regain their strength from three days of fasting and sitting upright. Rey had dark circles under her eyes and Ben doubted he looked any better. They both needed a long soak in a ‘fresher, a change of clothes, and a hot meal. 

“Do you think everything is alright in there?” Rey asked, hesitating to key in her code. He knew she was lingering outside, with him, happy in the little world they’d created together. When they stepped back through the bunker door, there would be questions, conversations, and difficulties. There would be expectations.

He took her hand and used his other hand to tip her chin up, so she’d look at him directly. “Rey, whatever happens, we have each other now. No one can take that from us. We can get through it. Together.”

She chuckled and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “That’s a way better speech than ‘let the past die.’” She imitated his deep voice as she quoted him.

The corner of his mouth twitched up and he keyed her code in for her, tugging her inside behind him.

The comm next to the door chimed and a voice greeted them at once.

“Welcome back, Mistress Ray,” C-3PO’s voice said. “I’ve been instructed to inform the princess of your arrival. She wishes to see you as soon as possible.”

Rey looked down at her grubby clothes and then at his black ensemble. “Yeah. We’re a mess right now, Threepio. I’ll freshen up and be right there.”

“Very good, mistress.” The comm closed and Rey sighed.

Ben pulled her through to their hall, and their door, and opened it.

Chewbacca and Cairn looked up from a card game, then both stood.

“Welcome back, Rey. Kylo. Have we a lightsaber to show for all that time away?” Cairn asked, his tail flicking behind him and his ears perked forward. 

Chewbacca’s eyes were focused on Rey and Ben. He was less subtle.

_ “I get the feeling other things happened out there.” _

Ben looked down at Rey, her happiness rolling off her in waves. He shook his head and released her hand, coming further into the room. He spread his arms and hands open in what he hoped was a non-threatening gesture. 

“Chewbacca, a lot of things happened. But before we get into it, there’s something I must ask you.” He came forward another step, just out of arm's’ length from the Wookie. “I don’t blame you for your hatred of me. What I’ve done, all of it, but especially to Han…” Ben closed his eyes, remembering his father’s face, his last touch, making the moment more difficult. “I ask for your forgiveness, though I know you can’t--”

_ “Shut up.”  _ Chewbacca growled and reached out, coming forward to envelop Ben in an enormous hug. Ben hadn’t been held that close by the Wookie since his childhood, when Chewbacca carried him around on his back, usually while his parents argued or Han negotiated trade deals. 

He’d missed the Wookie. Terribly. But he’d cut himself off from those feelings long ago. 

Chewbacca pushed him away finally, holding him by the shoulders.  _ “It’s a good thing I missed that shot at you on Starkiller.” _

Ben raised his eyebrows and put a hand on the Wookie’s arms. “Chewie, we both know you never miss.”

The Wookie chuckled, which sounded a great deal like a growl.  _ “Maybe.” _

Cairn came forward and narrowed his eyes, looking Ben over carefully. “What happened?”

“Ben Solo came back from the dead,” the man once known as Kylo Ren said. “And buried the Master of the Knights of Ren. You are free to make your own choices, Cairn. But I hope you’ll stick around here.”

Cairn’s eyes glittered and his ears laid back, his lips forming a smile that showed off his sharp teeth. His amusement, and approval, was palpable. “Welcome back, Ben, old friend.”

Rey cleared her throat and stepped around the males. “While this is great and all, I’m going to have to go prepare for an audience with the general.”

“I guess I’d better do that, too.” Ben stepped away from the gathering and went towards his door, his mind reaching out to caress Rey before she disappeared into her room. 

It was time to speak to Leia Organa at last. Rey’s encouragement stayed with him.

Their link allowed him to match his pace to hers as he showered, dried off, and put on fresh clothing. The black pants, white shirt, and blue vest that Chewie had said made him look like Han Solo was his choice of clothing. The black he favored, while simple and comfortable, didn’t seem appropriate this time. He left his lightsaber behind, too. 

Rey stepped out of the suite with him, sliding her hand through his as naturally as ever, and they descended deeper into the bunker to see Leia. 

Ben tried to ignore the way the people in the data room stopped to stare at him. He recognized Poe Dameron, and the droids, but there were three other people he didn’t know. One was a young woman in blonde braids that reminded him of old holos he’d seen of his mother. 

He could sense Leia. He’d been aware of her from the beginning, but chose to ignore the quiet thrum of her presence. Now, he allowed himself to truly feel it. To know, without a doubt, that his mother was nearby. He swallowed, uncertain of what would follow, but he stepped through the door to her room with his head held high. 

Rey released his hand the moment they were inside and broadcast her intention to remain standing at the door, giving him and Leia some small measure of privacy. 

His mother was in a chair. A medical hoverchair. Little lights flashed on the arms, giving medical readouts and signals to a bank of computers, no doubt. Leia looked smaller than he remembered. He’d towered over her before he was thirteen years old, but she had still always felt larger than life to him. Now, she was tired, delicate, and hurting. 

And it was his fault.

He took the steps necessary to reach her. Only eight. In seconds he crossed more than the physical distance, but the emotional void between them too. He lowered himself to his knees before her, and she didn’t say a word. She just looked at him, her big brown eyes full of emotion. He lowered his head, the pain in her eyes taking him back to when he knelt before Snoke, just after murdering his father. 

“Mother,” he whispered, unable to make himself any louder. There was so much he had to say, but all the words would sound trite. Nothing spoken out loud would ever be enough to convey his sorrow, his anguish, his yearning for forgiveness when he knew it could never be given. He raised his eyes to her, uncertain how to continue, and feeling weaker than he ever had.

But he didn’t see her pain anymore when he looked up. Instead, in her eyes, and with her smile, he saw forgiveness. He saw love in the softness of her expression and in her hands as she reached out to lay them on his cheeks. Just like Padme had done. She bent forward until she could place a kiss on his forehead. 

“I love you, Ben. Han loved you, too.”

“I know,” he said, and his control vanished, tears filling his eyes. 

How many times had he heard his parents say those words? “I love you.” “I know.” They had always exchanged them with a smile, half-joking, sometimes exasperated, but always meaning it. 

Leia stood and gently tugged him up with her. Then she wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. Her tears were of loss, for Han, and for all the years gone. Ben held her close, knowing some wounds would never heal. But now, he could accept that.

When Leia finally stepped back, lowering herself into the chair, her tears were spent. He quickly went back on one knee before her, not just a son before his mother, but a defeated enemy before a general. 

“Before I ask you all the questions I truly want to know the answers to,” she said, her voice lilting as it always had, satire and business lacing each word. “I must ask if you surrender to the Resistance and will swear allegiance to our laws.”

Ben raised his eyes to hers and slowly shook his head. “I can’t. Though I pledge my service to the Resistance and renounce my ties to the First Order. I can’t belong to the government you support.” He forced a smile as her frown appeared. “I can only swear allegiance to the Force.”

Her expression relaxed and she nodded. “Thank you. I think that will do.” She looked up and motioned for Rey to come closer. “Rey, I think you’d better sit and help my son explain things to me.”

Rey came forward and sank down next to Ben on the floor, sitting cross-legged. Her decision to be by his side at all costs, even in such a simple thing as sitting next to him on the ground, filled him with gratitude. 

The story would take some time, and he wasn’t sure Leia would believe all of it, but as he took Rey’s hand and started to speak, he knew the only thing that mattered was that Rey had been there with him. 

Neither of them would be alone ever again.

***

It was late by the time they finished with Leia. Late enough that Threepio came in to assist the general to her bed. It hurt Rey to know that Leia needed the assistance. She saw the look of worry in Ben’s eyes, too, upon realizing how fragile his mother had become. 

Leia wished them a good night and said they would hold a council the next day, with the remaining members of the Resistance, to share the news of Ben’s defection from the First Order. 

“Most of them won’t believe it,” Leia had said with a smirk. “But we’ll convince them. In time.”

The data room was quiet when Rey and Ben walked through it. The lights had been dimmed. As they left the lower level, doors shut automatically behind them, sealing the path to Leia. Poe must’ve had the security system set to turn on the moment they left. 

“He’s good to her,” Ben said, reading her thoughts. His expression was thoughtful, his eyes lowered to the steps they walked up. “He’s the kind of man I think Leia wanted her son to be. The kind Han wanted.”

“Because he’s a brash pilot?” Rey said with a chuckle. “I’m sure Leia appreciates having him on her side, but you’re her son, Ben. She can’t replace you with someone just because they can fly an X-wing.”

But with the acceptance of his identity as Ben Solo, Rey knew other issues would now come into play. Ben fell away from his family’s influence in part because he didn’t think he could ever measure up to them. His father wanted him to be bold, daring, and to pilot ships with a dramatic flare. His mother wanted him to be a diplomat, always saying the right words, behaving with the utmost propriety at government functions, following her path in politics. And Luke? Luke had wanted to turn him into a powerful warrior who chose meditation over passion and shunned the darkness within. 

Rey had seen it all when she looked into Ben’s mind and heart. The expectations placed on him at a young age, while his heart tore him apart from within, had damaged him. No one ever let him choose his own path. Snoke granted him fewer limitations, but Ben had never been free as Kylo Ren either. 

“I’m too tired to argue with you,” he said, reaching up to drag his hand through his hair. “And tomorrow will be exhausting, too.”

“Oh, stop whining,” she teased, bumping him with her hip as they turned into their hallway. “We’ll figure it out together. Didn’t you tell me we could do anything, now that we have each other?”

They stepped into the suite of rooms to find the lights all dimmed. Chewie was gone. Cairn they could sense in his room, sleeping. Rey took a step towards her doorway but stopped and looked up at Ben, searching his face carefully.

He was exhausted. But she also sensed his uncertainty. Everything had changed for him in a short space of time, like it had for her after their duel in the forest. 

Rey sighed and went towards his room instead.

The surprise in his voice was obvious. “Rey? What are you doing?”

“We both know you’re going to have problems sleeping. I can help.” She said it matter-of-factly, hoping he wasn’t going to read into things. “You just can’t sleep naked tonight.” She almost cursed when she felt the heat blooming in her cheeks. “C’mon.” She turned quickly and went to his room. 

He followed, his footsteps slow and heavy.

The easiest way to do this, Rey knew, would be to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. She quickly shed her jacket, belt, and boots, tossing them unceremoniously into a pile by one side of the bed. She reached up and pulled the ties out of her buns and dropped them on the bedside table. She slid beneath his covers and only then looked up.

He’d made it as far as the foot of the bed, looking down at her, his eyes watching her every move.

“Well?” she asked with as much confidence as she could. “You coming to bed?” The infernal blush spread and she felt uncomfortably warm all over. 

Ben sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off his boots, the vest, and the belt. He hesitated, but removed his shirt too. He lifted the blankets and fairly collapsed onto the pillow. Then he laid stiff and still for several moments. 

Rey plucked up her courage one more time and moved across the space between them, until she could rest her head on his shoulder and put her arm around his naked waist. He felt warm, solid, and safe. He exhaled a long-held breath and turned to wrap his arm around her waist. She felt his lips press against the top of her head.

What they had was new, and precious. Rey didn’t want to hurt him. Didn’t want to mess anything up. But she was also terrified. No one had ever been this close to her, in her memory. She didn’t know how to heal all of his hurts. But she would spend the rest of her life trying to.

“Good night, Ben,” she said, closing her eyes, inhaling the scent of him. 

“Good night, Rey.” He kissed the top of her head again and his body relaxed. 

She fell asleep quickly, and in her dreams, she was held by Ben Solo while they walked through the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guest reviews are now turned on. Please don't abuse the privilege. ;-) 
> 
> What's going to happen next? How will Ben convince the Resistance he's on their side? What is Finn going to make of all this? What about Rey's lightsaber? What is Hux doing with his supreme power? Will Cairn ever get more scenes? Dang, there's a lot going on in this galaxy....


	22. A Friendly Duel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey let off some steam with a little staff practice. (No, not THAT kind.)

Ben woke with his arms around Rey and his face buried in her hair, taking in her scent with every breath. She smelled like sunshine, like green and growing things, like warm earth, and something uniquely her own. Her cheek was pressed against his chest, her body curved into him, and her legs tangled with his in the sheets. It ought to have been the most uncomfortable way to sleep, but he knew he was more rested now than he’d ever been in his life. 

“Mmm,” she sighed, starting to arch her back in a slow stretch. “What time is it?”

“Late,” he guessed, looking to the place where his largest viewscreen had hung before he broke it. He shook his head at his own temper and turned to another screen, waving a hand to make it come to life. A view of the lake appeared, with the reflection on the water telling him the sun was directly overhead. “Mid-day.”

She groaned and pulled the blankets over both their heads. “We’re not getting up.”

Although the desire was mutual, Ben knew he couldn’t remain in bed with her much longer. Not without acting on other desires.. He deflected that thought before it could cross to her and kissed the top of her head. 

“We have things we need to do. The galaxy won’t stop spinning just because you want it to.”

“I know.” She sighed and moved the blanket down again, tucking it beneath her chin. “It’s just hard sometimes, to think you finally have what you want, and then circumstances change. Demands are made. And that moment of happiness dissolves.”

“I know what you mean.” He pushed himself to a sitting position and brought her up with him. Ben took her by the shoulders and gave her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. He knew the expression would need more practice, it’d been so long since he’d worn it, but she returned the smile beautifully. “We’re together. No one can change that.”

Rey nodded and then leaned forward, tipping her head back just enough to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “We’d better get moving.” Then she slid away, leaving his arms empty and his heart aching for more. 

She went to her chambers to prepare for the day and he met her for a meal when they were both ready. Cairn was sitting on the couch, using his datapad and a viewscreen as a computer. Computer code flew across the screens, only a small fraction of which Ben understood. But he sat next to Cairn and watched his friend work while he ate.

“Enjoy your lie-in?” Cairn asked after a few moments, not looking away from the screen.

“You try being in a Force-trance for three days and see how you feel afterward,” Ben muttered, trying not to shovel the food into his mouth like a half-starved rancor. 

“Three days? You’ll have to tell me about it sometime.” Cairn paused in his typing and stared at the large viewscreen for several seconds before making an adjustment to the coding. “While you’ve been gone, I’ve been helping the Resistance create a new code to communicate with their more far-flung members. It scrambles every six minutes and only someone with an approved marker can read it. Markers are refreshed every twenty-four standard hours.”

“Sounds delightfully complicated,” Ben said. “You made inroads while we were gone.”

“Plenty. Turns out people don’t mind me much, when I’m not wearing a mask or all black.” 

It was only then Ben realized his old friend was wearing clothing more suited to a Resistance member than a Knight of Ren. He was dressed in the beiges and browns of a Resistance officer, though his clothing bore no insignia or rank indicators. 

“Huh.” Ben turned his attention back to his food and Rey sat in the chair across from him with her plate. She was back in her Resistance costume, including the jacket she’d obviously grown fond of. 

“Organa sent a comm earlier,” Cairn informed them both. “She wants all three of us to report to command after you two are ready.”

“Command?” Ben asked with a snort. “Is that what this place is?”

“Specifically, that’s what her room full of computers is. The bunker has a different codename. Everyone is apparently supposed to refer to it as the Castle. Even though most of it is underground, it’s about the right amount of space and pretty enough to warrant the name.” Cairn flashed a grin towards Rey. “Makes me feel a bit like royalty.”

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Ben muttered, a familiar weight settling on his heart. The son of Leia Organa, a princess of Alderaan, had never been well liked or understood. When members of other high-ranking families discovered his father’s lineage, people would usually utter expressions along the lines of, “Oh, that explains him.” But Ben hadn’t inherited his father’s easy charm anymore than he inherited his mother’s regal bearing.

Rey’s thoughts appeared in his head almost as if they were his own.  _ “Don’t be silly, Ben. You weren’t an exact copy of either of them, but no one can deny you have a strong presence when you enter a room.” _ She mentally projected his image as Kylo Ren, standing above her when the  _ Falcon’s _ escape pod landed on Snoke’s ship.

He choked on his food and glared at her, while Rey smirked and innocently continued to eat her food with more delicate manners than he’d seen from her thus far. 

“Finished.” He stood and took his tray back to their tiny kitchen. 

Rey unceremoniously shoved one more huge bite in her mouth before bringing her dish back as well. After she swallowed, she gestured to the doorway. “We’d better get going.”

***

Rey sat next to Ben, both of them staring forward, knowing their images were being sent to several different corners of the galaxy. Leia sat near them, her image broadcast separately. The room was full, with Poe, Chewie, the droids, Connix, and two men Rey had only just met, sitting at the table in the middle of Command. Cairn was there too, fiddling with the technology. 

Leia had commed every member of the Resistance out on missions, telling them to prepare to for an important holo-conference. Most had managed it, though Rey knew a few people were unable to join them. They would watch the recording later. 

“The news I have for you is good, though I’m not yet sure what we’ll do with it. As there are fewer than forty members of the Resistance left, that we know of, I thought sharing the information as soon as possible would be prudent. You all know that we owe our lives to Rey, the last Jedi to ever be trained by my brother, Luke Skywalker.” Leia paused, letting the significance of those words sink into her audience before she continued. 

“What most of you don’t know is what has happened in just the past two weeks. General Hux of the First Order has ended the rule of Kylo Ren and taken over as Supreme Leader and Commander of the Armies. Kylo Ren sought sanctuary with us.”

Rey felt Ben’s restless mind grow more agitated by the moment. 

“But after a time here, under Rey’s influence, Kylo Ren has renounced the First Order and pledged is life to aiding the Resistance to restore balance, justice, and freedom to the galaxy.”

There was a collective gasp before everyone on the receiving end of the link started talking, nearly overwhelming Rey as they all tried to be heard. But despite the cacophony of voices, Rey recognized the general tone as one of disbelief. 

Leia waited a few moments before raising her hand, and gradually people stopped talking. “I understand your concerns and I invite you to voice them to me privately, after we have concluded this meeting. But what some of you might not know, what has not been talked about at great length, is who Kylo Ren once was. This man started out as a Jedi, under Luke Skywalker’s stewardship. But he was more than a student. He was Ben Solo. My son. Han Solo’s son. It has been my hope, for many years, that he would turn back to the Light.”

The silence was more deafening than the raised voices had been. 

“Kylo Ren is no more, and my son, Ben Solo, is returned to me. I understand that not everyone will accept that. I do not ask you to. But I ask you to accept my leadership and judgement in this matter when I tell you that I trust him. Ben Solo will be an incredible asset to the Resistance. Ben, do you have anything you wish to say?”

They all waited for Ben to speak, and he was trying to find the right words. He reached out and took Rey’s hand, in full view of the camera. Everyone would see them joined, and Rey hoped it would help the situation.

“I was known throughout the galaxy as Kylo Ren, formerly Master of the Knights of Ren, and then Supreme Leader. Under those names and titles, I committed unspeakable deeds. I was a high-ranking individual within the First Order and followed the cruelest of commands without thought. I gave commands that hurt many of you. But I would like to tell everyone who hears this, who sees me now, that I renounce the First Order and all it stands for. From this moment forward, I pledge myself to dismantling that corrupt body of government and seeing freedom restored to the galaxy.”

He spoke for several minutes about the horrors committed in the name of finding a lasting peace. He relayed everything he said with conviction and calm. 

Then Rey knew it was her turn.

“Most of you watching know me. I’m Rey. That’s it. No title. No last name. I’m pretty much a nobody.” She felt Ben flinch but squeezed his hand as she continued. “But I was there when Supreme Leader Snoke died. I was there when Luke Skywalker stood in front of heavy laser fire and protected the Resistance. And I was there when Leia Organa called for aid and no one came. I am on the path of the Jedi. I will fight for freedom and peace in the galaxy. Not the First Order’s peace, but the peace that can be found in the balance of the Force.”

She looked up at Ben, meeting his eyes. Her next words rang with conviction. “Kylo Ren is dead. He no longer exists. Ben Solo is fully committed to aiding the Resistance in whatever way he can. As am I. Trust us. We will work together to rebuild the Resistance and restoring peace.”

Leia nodded and took over the conversation again. “We will use Ben Solo’s defection from the First Order to our advantage. His military intelligence, freely shared with us, gives us greater insight into our enemy. Now, if you would like to make appointments to speak with me of your concerns, Connix will arrange that.” 

Leia turned off the cameras and waved for Lieutenant Connix to take over. She sighed and slumped back into her chair, raising her hand to her eyes. 

“It’s going to be a long day,” the general said.

Ben released Rey’s hand and stood, and everyone in the room with the exception of Rey, Leia, and Cairn, stiffened. But he walked forward anyway, ignoring the tense atmosphere, and knelt beside Leia’s chair, putting his hand on her shoulder. 

He spoke barely loud enough for Rey to hear. “You don’t have to do it alone. I’ll come with you. Answer all their questions.”

“I’m afraid if you were there, there would be more accusations than honest commentary.” Leia smiled at him and covered his hand with hers. “Have dinner with me tonight, Ben. That will go a long way to restoring me after this.”

He nodded and stood only after she released him.

Rey couldn’t contain how happy that scene made her feel, despite her worry over the general’s health. Leia remained exhausted, even though she rarely left her medic chair. Rey wondered if the woman was really getting any rest.

“Go let off some steam,” Leia said, looking from Ben to Rey. “You both look like you need fresh air and exercise. I’ll see the two of you at dinner.”

Rey blinked. “The two of us? If you’d rather be alone with Ben--”

Leia’s eyes twinkled as she shook her head. “It’s a family dinner, Rey. You’re family.”

The simple statement brought a lump into Rey’s throat and she could only nod her acceptance before Ben took her arm and guided her from Command. After they were nearly back to their rooms, Rey realized Leia’s statement implied more than simple acceptance, and she felt heat rush into her cheeks.

“Sparring,” Ben said abruptly, pulling her from her thoughts. “With staffs, outside.”

Rey nodded and went to find her staff-cylinder. She couldn’t help thinking of Finn when she opened it to its full length. He’d made sure she had her favorite weapon, after the destruction of the Skywalker lightsaber. She had seen Finn and Rose on the comm, but neither of them had said anything when everyone else started protesting Ben’s new allegiance.  _ ‘What does Finn think now? He wasn’t surprised. But I wonder if he’ll ever accept it?’ _

Ben’s thoughts responded to hers.  _ ‘Your friends will have a hard time with this. Especially him. I nearly sliced him in half.’ _

Rey sighed and walked out of her room, meeting Ben. She offered him a smile. “But if anyone could understand choosing a different path, wouldn’t it be a former Stormtrooper?”

“He didn’t choose the path in the first place. He was basically enslaved, as a child,” Ben reminded her. “He wasn’t choosing a new path so much as escaping.”

She knew he had a point, but Rey just wanted to get outside. Her anxiety had built and she needed to release it. A good sparring match with Ben would do just that.

***

They’d jogged to the lake. Or Rey jogged and Ben loped along beside her. His long legs kept up with her easily. They stopped at the edge of the water, dropping their bags by the meditation rock.

Ben hefted the staff Cairn had found for him, using both hands to twirl it from one side of his body to the other. He brought it above his head and then down in a wide, slicing arc. Although not his preferred weapon, he had trained with similar over the years. They were usually crackling with energy or bladed, but a simple staff was the most appropriate for a sparring match with Rey.

He’d stripped down to just his top, pants, and boots. Rey was wearing the ensemble she’d worn aboard Snoke’s ship, though he could see where she’d repaired a few tears with dark stitches. She maneuvered her metallic staff with grace, going through several forms with extreme focus. 

“I’m not sure this is going to go well for you,” he said, bringing her out of her concentration. 

Rey grinned at him, the expression making his heart lighter. “We’ll see. I’ve used a staff almost my whole life.”

Ben raised his staff in a traditional salute and Rey swiftly copied the gesture. He realized, belatedly, she’d never duelled. Though watching he and Cairn spar for the past week probably helped. 

“Until we disarm or yield,” he told her. She nodded agreement, then they approached, tapping the center of their staffs together. 

The Force shifted around them, alive with their respective energies, like shadows swirling around a flame. Their unique connection, coupled with their abilities, would make the fight intense. Each movement was anticipated, each strike, block, and counter-strike seen before it happened. Minute glimpses into the future kept them both moving at a rapid pace.

Ben was larger, physically stronger, but Rey was light on her feet and more agile. 

Rey’s hands slid from her hands together, touching thumb to thumb, to shoulder width apart, her right arm stretched further, moving almost to the end of the staff, then her hand pulled that end down, giving more momentum and strength as the other end of the pole swung around and down, nearly smashing into Ben’s face. He back up and blocked the hit, but she repeated the movement with the opposite hand and arm. It happened in the blink of an eye, but Ben blocked each strike. 

Though she remained perfectly in control, Ben could see the aggression on her face, the way her jaw clenched and the determination in her eyes. Rey had met him with this aggression on Takodana, Starkiller, and in their first shared vision through their link. 

It was one of the things he admired about her. Rey committed fully and passionately to a fight.

Rey made a thrust towards his leg; Ben held his staff with a wide grip, and pulled the staff downward to block a sweep to his leg, pulling it backward, protecting first one leg and then the other, then brought the staff up quickly to try to catch hers. 

He could understand a lot more about her lightsaber technique, or lack thereof, fighting with staffs. Towards the end of their battle with the Praetorian guard, she’d stopped trying to mimic saber forms and had gone to swinging almost wildly. But she’d been using the lightsaber the way she would use a staff, one-handed. 

Rey swung her staff from her shoulder in a swift motion, bringing it down over his head and landing a surprisingly hard punch to his shoulder with the end of the staff.

Ben grunted but swung away, knowing he would be bruised from that. As he turned away from her, he brought the staff around his back and thwacked right into her staff as it came down towards his back. 

“I thought,” she half-panted, “you said this wouldn’t go well for me?”

“Gaining the first strike hardly makes you the victor,” he retorted, turning around and feinting to sweep her legs. He repeated her punch but knew she’d block both, but once he had his bow level with her strike coming downward, he moved it quickly from side to side, his shoulders relaxed, and he caught her ribs on the second strike. 

Rey’s quick intake of breath was the only indication she gave that she’d been hit, because she pressed into him quickly, throwing several quick strikes to his head and midsection. He blocked, spun, and threw in backward leap over his staff.

It wasn’t strictly necessary, but Ben had always been something of a show-off. 

Rey’s amusement tinted her Force signature and his lips quirked upward too. 

“Fancy,” she said, twirling her staff around her back and then bringing it in a smooth arc all the way around to smash into his left knee. 

Ben’s smile faltered with that knee, bringing him into a crouch and forcing him to raise his staff to block an assault to his head. 

He quickly brought his staff up in a quick, small circle, keeping his elbow bent at a right angle, hooking upward under heg leg. But Rey used her staff for balance and swung her leg around, avoiding the hook and bringing her staff smashing down to his shoulder.

Ben blocked, but only just, and forced her backward as he pushed onto both feet again. 

Rey nearly sent him back with a high-kick aimed at his midsection, but he caught her leg with the staff and twisted, spinning her leg downward and putting her off balance long enough to regain his balance.

On and one the dance went, both of them landing blows, but none of them decisive enough to end the sparring match. Ben studied her technique, matched it to what he knew of the staff. Her style was all her own. It was nothing like the practiced saber forms Luke taught, or the holos Snoke made him watch. 

Without using the Force as a weapon, and unless Rey made a grievous mistake, Ben didn’t think he could beat her. He could wear her out, perhaps, but nothing about Rey indicated she was near that point. Coupled with his frustration was a strong sense of pride. 

And an idea. 

Rey forced him to take a step back, nearly slamming into his thigh with her staff. Ben brought his around to her belly, but when she blocked this time he shoved his full weight against their staffs, pushing into her. Rey leaned backward, trying to keep to her feet, and Ben felt a moment of elation as he pressed his advantage, trying to catch her staff with his with a quick twist. 

But Rey flashed a smile, blocked the twist, and ducked under and around him quickly enough that he lost  _ his _ balance and felt her staff hit the base of his spine. He stumbled, turned, and knelt to take an over-head strike.

But her staff darted back, then thrust beneath his, and the end of it caught him on the chin, knocking him backward. Rey moved before he recovered, placing the end of her staff against his throat and one booted heal on her sternum. 

“Do you yield?” she asked, her chin lifted and her eyes narrowed. 

He stared at her in wonder, completely silent. “To you?” he asked, his chest protesting her weight against it. “Always.”

Rey’s expression went from fierce aggression to gentle, a little smile curling her lips upward. “Thank you.” She stepped off and held her staff with on end against the ground, then offered him her free hand. He accepted the gesture and she leaned back to leverage him upward. 

“Sabers would’ve gone differently,” he told her, picking up his staff. “I’ve fought with  _ them _ all my life.”

“Then we’ll never have a fair fight between us,” she said with a dramatic sigh. 

He chuckled, then dropped his staff and scooped her up and over his shoulder. Rey squealed and dropped her staff. The warrior persona cast off, she grasped the back of his sweat-sodden shirt with both hands.

“Ben, what are you--? No!”

He laughed and ran across the meditation rock and jumped off the end, hurtling them both into the lake. They sunk into the water, no more than two and a half meters deep, and he released her before they pushed back up to the top. Though she’d grasped swimming quickly, Rey still did not have complete confidence in the water.

She came up spluttered and he couldn’t help laughing. 

“So much for the big, scary, Kylo Ren,” she muttered, treading water and pushing strands of hair out of her eyes. “You’re like an overgrown puli-pup.”

“Am I?” he asked, sweeping his arms around to tread closer to her. “What are those, exactly?”

“Domesticated canines. I saw one, once. On Jakku. It was black, with a wet nose, and eyes hidden behind a mass of curly hair.” Rey grinned at him and reached out with one hand to push his dark hair behind his ear. He pulled back a little and she rolled her eyes. “They’re just ears, Ben. And since they’re yours, I like them.”

Of course she knew about his ears. She knew everything about him, inside and out. His stomach flipped and he reached one arm out to snake around her waist and bring her in close, against his body. She stopped treading and he kept them both above the water, his eyes searching hers.

He found only love and acceptance, every time their eyes met. 

“I love you,” he whispered, saying the words out loud for the first time, though she had known it to be true for days. 

“I know,” she answered, tipping her chin up and placing a kiss on his jaw. 

His heart skipped a beat. Somehow, they were right for each other, even though everything had started out so wrong between them. He'd spend his life making up for it, he knew. Even though she didn't expect it or ask it of him.

He released her and they both went to shore, dripping wet, but happy.

“We need to go,” Rey reminded him, looking up at the sun. “We promised we’d have dinner with your mother.”

Ben nodded and stretched, looking up in the same direction. After they drank some water and gathered their things, Ben set an easy pace for their return. 

“Rey,” he said, his idea from the middle of their fight coming back to him. “Did you know that the Jedi Temple used to have guards?”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “Why would a building full of Jedi need guards?”

“They had their reasons. But I’ve seen some old statues, and holos. I thought you might be interested to know about their weapons.”

“They didn’t use lightsabers?” She looked confused. 

“Not exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ability to write fighting scenes is questionable, though I promise I watched several bo staff videos and read several "how to" type articles before attempting to choreograph the fight. My apologies for being a pen-is-mightier-than-the-sword type. :-D 
> 
> Also, HUGE thanks to everyone who's been dropping reviews and kudos. They make me super happy and give me lots of inspiration.


	23. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Families can come in all shapes and sizes. And all shades of awkward and adorable.

Rey stood before the door to Leia’s quarters yet again, but this time was possibly the most nerve-wracking. What, exactly, was a family dinner? She couldn’t be sure she’d ever heard them discussed before. If people ate together on Jakku, they weren’t usually family, but a group of people coming together to share the warmth of a fire and swap stories and supplies. With the Resistance, meals were hastily eaten, meant only to fuel people the way they fueled up ships, giving them what they needed to carry on.

Ben’s half-smile, a now familiar sight, was bestowed on her just before they stepped through the portal. Leia’s rooms were somehow even more opulent and comfortable than the suite given to Rey and the knights to use. Her viewscreens were large and beautiful, her furniture more plush and better arranged, and the entire area larger than two of Rey’s suites combined would be. The eating area was set apart from the sitting room, through another doorway. Leia greeted them and used her chair to lead the way.

Ben’s smile faded as he watched his mother and Rey reached out to lay a comforting hand on his arm. To have made his peace with her at last, only to find her so weakened by all his past deeds, weighed on him. Rey could sense his sadness, and his worry for her. 

“I wasn’t sure what Rey’s favorites are,” Leia said after greeting them. “But I remembered most of Ben’s.” 

A circular table was in the room, large enough to hold several platters of food and plates, but small enough that Rey knew it would only be the three of them eating. The delicious aromas of the dishes made her mouth water.

Threepio stood in one corner, obviously powered on but blessedly silent for once. Rey wondered what kind of command Leia had to issue for  _ that _ to happen. 

Leia brought her chair directly up to a plate at the table, and when Rey walked around the small circle to take another for herself, Ben followed quickly. Although momentarily confused, Rey realized his intent and bit her lip to keep from smiling. He pulled her chair out for her. 

Though hardly in need of the help, Rey knew the gesture was one of gracious respect. He  _ must _ be on his best behavior with his mother watching, she realized with some amusement. 

When she met Leia’s eyes, she could see the pride in the general’s gaze. However small that gesture might have been, it  _ did _ mean something to Leia. 

After Ben sat and put a napkin in his lap, Leia looked to Threepio and nodded. He moved forward and lifted the covers off two platters. He put them down on a shelf behind him and uncovered two more, without a word. Then he opened a bottle of wine and began to pour.

Rey’s surprise at his quiet must have been noticeable. 

“Protocol droids, when duty necessitates more formailty, are often quiet,” Leia said, bringing a blush to Rey’s cheeks. “Especially if the parties all know one another and have a similar social etiquette. If we were entertaining someone with different rules for behavior, or a stranger, Threepio would be ensuring we all made polite conversation by bringing up topics of interest from our different cultures. If we asked it of him.”

Ben remained quiet, though not aloof. His eyes stayed mostly on his mother. 

“And it is common for the head of a family, at least where I grew up, to start the meal by offering food to a guest.” Leia’s explanation made Rey smile.

“I haven’t had the most civilized of eating experiences,” she admitted, thinking back to her meals on Jakku and even on Skywalker’s little island. He certainly hadn’t been a picture of mannerly behavior, either. “Thank you for teaching me.”

Leia shrugged and smiled. “This is just an informal, family dinner. There is nothing you need to worry about here, Rey.” She turned her eyes to Ben and her expression softened. “Isn’t that right, Ben?”

He nodded once, his face still solemn. “Of course not.” He sat up a little straighter, lifting his chin higher. “Thank you, for inviting both of us.”

Leia smiled and began to offer Rey the dishes, explaining what each was, and Rey took samplings of everything. Then Leia offered the dishes to Ben, who took enormous portions of all of it, relaxing more with each offering. While food had only meant sustaining life to Rey, she began to understand that it had a different meaning to others. At least, the right kind of food did. Everything that Leia presented sent sparks off in Ben’s eyes, like he was remembering happier times. Leia said she knew his favorites. Was this her way of offering him comfort? Telling him he was truly forgiven, by giving him things from his childhood they had enjoyed together? 

After Leia served herself, Rey realized she could begin to eat. But she had only taken a few bites when the conversation began, slowly.

“I must admit,” Leia said softly, “that I watched you both today. I am sorry for the breach in privacy,” she added quickly when Ben stopped chewing. Rey felt her cheeks grow hot. “The lake is my favorite view, and I kept it on while I was in meetings.”

Ben swallowed loudly and Rey looked over at him to see his cheeks had pinked, too. She nearly laughed but bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from doing so.

“You did suggest we blow off some steam,” Rey said lightly, her eyes darting from mother to son. 

Leia’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “Indeed. I’m glad you listened. There’s nothing like a little exercise and a swim to get to a more relaxed state.” Ben looked no closer to being able to say a word and Leia at last released a quiet little laugh. “Ben, I’m sorry. I have years of your life that I’ve missed. I didn’t want to miss watching that. You fight well, but it’s good to see that you can still be bested.” She cast a quick smile in Rey’s direction before focusing on her son again. “And it eases my heart to see you happy.”

Ben relaxed, slowly, and one corner of his mouth moved upward. “I suppose I can’t blame you. I’m pleased it was a pleasant distraction for you.”

Leia nodded and from there the conversation flowed more easily. Leia talked about the planet and Ben chimed in with an occasional question or his own knowledge of Barrin. Rey listened, trying to take small bites of her food and sipping at the very sweet blue wine. Before their plates were empty, the formality had completely vanished, and Ben was smiling fully. The sight made Rey’s heart skip a little faster. 

“Let’s go sit where we’ll be more comfortable,” Leia offered, lifting her wine glass. Ben stood and took his cup, and Rey’s. Threepio followed them silently, carrying the bottle of wine.

Ben took a seat on a two-person couch and Rey slid next to him. 

“As I said before, I have a great deal to catch up on,” Leia said as she settled her chair where she wanted it. “And we’re in the middle of salvaging our political movement, preparing for further battles, so you’ll excuse my impatience to ask certain questions.” Leia looked between them, the speculative expression on her face somehow more intimidating than her sternest commanding frown. “Tell me about the two of you.”

Rey nearly choked on her sip of wine and her eyes flew to Ben’s face to see his expression go from relaxed to amused. He put one long arm on the back of the seat, just above her shoulders, and crossed an ankle over his knee. To her surprise and his credit, he was not putting up a front. Ben Solo looked as calm and confident as she’d ever seen him, if a whole lot more casual. 

“Since you were spying on us, I imagine you have a good idea of what’s going on between us. But it’s all still new.” He turned his eyes to Ray, their brown depths darkening as he looked at her. “I would say it’s going well.”

Her cheeks warmed but Rey nodded. “Yes. It’s a bit...new. Strange.” She looked back to Leia and tried to form her thoughts into words. “I’ve always been alone. For as long as I can remember, no one has ever cared for me or about me. Even the friends I’ve made since leaving Jakku don’t compare to what this is. I’m overwhelmed, at times.” She looked down into her wine glass and sighed. “It’s difficult to explain. I’m happy, but still adjusting.”

Ben’s presence wrapped around her in a soothing embrace, making her smile again. 

“To go from enemies to lovers would be a difficult transition, I imagine,” Leia stated, her half-smile a feminine echo of Ben’s. 

Ben groaned and tilted his head back against the couch. “Really? Must we discuss this now?”

“When else will we discuss it?” Leia asked, raising both hands a little helplessly. “You’re both leaving tomorrow.”

“What?” Rey and Ben said at the same time, she with confusion and he with a hint of warning.

“After numerous conversations with the Resistance members I most trust, I’ve determined to start proving Ben’s value to us. We’re not talking much about Cairn, at this point, and I’m hoping to just let him quietly join us. The identities of the Knights of Ren were not widely known. The people at Command are aware of his past, but no one else. But for all of you to earn trust and prove yourselves as a team, you need to start working for us. Or with us, if that phrasing makes you more comfortable.” Her motherly expression had melted away as she spoke and she sat up straighter in her chair, assuming the persona of a general with practiced ease. 

After exchanging a bemused look with Rey, Ben nodded. “It makes sense. What did you have in mind?”

“When Poe Dameron debriefed you, you gave him the location of a facility Snoke kept secret. I will be sending you there. We’ve sent a probe droid, who found what appears to be a storage facility.” Leia began pushing little buttons on the built-in datascreen of her chair. “There. I’ve sent you the feed we received. You can review it before you leave. But I want you to go and see if there’s anything there that will be useful to the Resistance. Many years ago, Luke found a similar facility that belonged to Palpatine.”

Ben started to nod. “The compass. An invaluable Force relic.”

“What?” Rey’s eyes darted from Ben to Leia. “Does it look like this?” She threw the image from her mind at Ben and his eyes widened in surprise. 

“Yes. Luke gave it to me. I kept it, for a time, studying it with him. He thought it could lead to missing Jedi artifacts, or even the first temple. Which we know he found.”

“He must’ve used the compass.” Leia sighed and leaned back. “Luke said it could do other things, but he didn’t think he’d ever unlock all its secrets.”

“It’s still on Ach-To.” 

Leia sighed and reached up to rub at her eyes with one hand. “You might want to go back for it, someday. But the point here is that there could be important things in Snoke’s storage locker, if that’s all it turns out to be. I’d like you both to go and find out. Take Cairn with you. As easy-going as he is, I’m sure he would prefer to be with someone he knows well than a group of people used to perceiving him as the enemy..”

“Of course, general,” Ben said, his amusement returning. “First thing in the morning.” 

“Take whatever time you need there, but report back every twenty-five standard hours.”

Silence fell and Rey took a moment to adjust to this new plan. Leia’s face had gone serious again and Ben’s mind was on the mission. Having lost the casual, comfortable feeling from dinner, Rey decided she missed it.

“Tell me about Ben, as a boy,” she said softly, bringing their attention back. “I want to hear what he was like, from you.”

Ben made a noise of protest but Leia launched into a story of young Ben Solo’s adventure of stowing away on the  _ Falcon,  _ in an attempt to join his father on a race through space. Before long, they were laughing, and Leia looked less tired than she had in weeks. 

When the conversation waned, Ben stood and announced they should all get some rest. But before Rey could join him, Leia spoke.

“Go ahead, Ben. I would like a moment alone with Rey.”

He hesitated, but nodded and bid his mother goodnight. When the door shut behind him, Rey looked to Leia curiously. “What is it, Leia?” she asked, trying to be polite, though she could not think of what the general would want to say to her that Ben would not also need to hear, especially if it was in regards to their mission.

Leia sighed and leaned towards her, a gentle look in her eyes. “I am afraid we need to have a woman to woman talk, Rey.”

Rey’s confusion was hastily swallowed by her mortification as Leia’s very frank and open manner of speaking proved useful in more than making battle arrangements. For the first time since their trip to the cave, Rey clamped down hard on her link to Ben, not wanting him to eavesdrop on  _ this _ particular conversation.

***

Ben stood next to Cairn, plotting a course for the planet known as Oliu, in the Outer Rim. The planet was small, but had a breathable atmosphere. There wasn’t much information on it in the databases the Resistance had access to, but the probe Leia sent had transmitted data about a vast jungle, and the readouts showed an impressive amount of lifeforms of every conceivable size. 

He tried to concentrate on the datascreen, but Rey’s abrupt decision to shut him out of her thoughts bothered him. What could the women be talking about that would necessitate he lose access to her?

He was distracted enough that he didn’t realize she had returned until just before the door slid open, allowing her to step inside their suite. 

Cairn spoke first, not even looking away from the green glow of the screen. “In-law problems already?” he asked. 

Rey smiled, the expression tight. “No.” She looked at Ben but barely met his eyes before walking to her bedroom. “But I need to pack and get some rest. Talk to you in the morning, Cairn.” 

Ben watched her, his confusion mounting, and he turned back to see what Cairn made of her abrupt departure. 

Cairn stayed kept looking at the screen, but finally laid his ears back and looked sideways at Ben. “What? She’s a woman, Ben. If you want to know what’s wrong, you’ve got to go ask.”

“I haven’t had to before,” Ben pointed out, looking back at Rey’s closed door.

“Your incredibly impossible bond may give you the advantage over most males when it comes to your chosen mate, but occasionally I’m sure you’ll be just as lost as the rest of us. Go talk to her. We’ll finish up in the morning.” Cairn typed a few commands into his handheld device, shutting all the screens down for the night. 

Ben, though he appreciated his old friend’s candid advice, felt he really shouldn’t need it. But he hadn’t been cut off from Rey’s mind like this since before Hux’s betrayal. The fact that she was doing it deliberately troubled him. He went to her room and stepped inside when he found no lock had been engaged. The door shut behind him and he saw Rey, sitting on the foot of her bed, holding her bag in her lap as she stuffed the last of her limited wardrobe inside. 

She looked up at him and her cheeks turned a now-familiar shade of red. “All packed,” she said. 

“That didn’t take long.” He folded his arms and leaned one shoulder against the wall, his eyes taking her in. As lovely as he found her, and as confident as she was in her athletic abilities, Rey still carried an air of uncertainty with her. “How was the conversation with Leia?”

Rey fiddled with the straps on her bag, turning her attention back to her hands. “You could call her ‘Mother,’ you know. I think she might actually like that.”

“I haven’t called her that since I was twelve,” he answered evenly. “With her encouragement, actually. But that’s irrelevant to our current discussion. Your reluctance to address it, and shutting me out completely, gives me reason to believe it had something to do with me. Am I correct?”

She shifted on the bed, drawing her legs up underneath her. “Yes. Sort of.” Rey’s expression became more pinched, her jaw tightened. 

Ben’s heart fell when he guessed what must have been said. But was Rey blocking him out to spare his feelings or because she thought his mother might be right? He could only ask. “She still doesn’t trust me, does she? Was she warning you to maintain your distance?” Anger seeped into his discouragement, he pushed himself away from the wall and stalked to one of the datascreens on the wall, currently displaying a view of stars between the branches of a tree. “After all her talk of family--”

“Ben, shut-up,” Rey said, the words heavy and laced with irritation. “Not everything is about  _ you _ . It was just a personal conversation, about me, and about us.” She pushed her bag out of her lap, onto the floor, and collapsed backward on the bed. He watched as she squeezed her eyes shut tight. “I didn’t really want to talk about it. I don’t even know how.”

“Then let me in and you don’t even have to,” he countered, staying where he was, across the room from her. He watched her lips clench together, but then she relaxed and pushed a sigh out between them. Her face reddened again. 

“Your _ mother _ wasn’t certain anyone had ever talked to me about being  _ careful _ . And while she confessed she liked the idea of eventually having grandchildren, she thought it would be wise if I took  _ precautions _ until I’m ready for that step.” 

Ben Solo, all six foot two of him, froze where he stood. He stared at her, unable to form a coherent response for the space of several seconds.  _ That _ was what Leia wanted to talk about? Rey’s mortification made sense, and he could feel heat creeping up his neck and into his ears. 

Blast his ears. 

Rey was peeking at him through a narrow slit in one eye, watching him carefully for his reaction. But he felt her shields lower, the worst of her humiliation apparently over. “I’m sorry. What she said was actually very helpful. And kind. But I wasn’t ready to think about--those things.” She threw an arm over her eyes and pushed out a laugh. “I’m starting to wonder if I’m cut out for all these relationships. Family, friends, you. There’s a certain appeal to the life of a hermit.”

Yet the idea of being without her pained him, and propelled him forward to come kneel beside her bed. Ben stretched an arm across the mattress and brushed her cheek with the tips of his fingers, watching as her body relaxed with the physical contact. “Rey,” he said her name softly, the single word a caress. “If you leave to live in a swamp on Dagobah, please take me with you.”

Her body started shaking and a laugh escaped her lips. She turned her face to the side, looking at him, her brown eyes dancing with copper light. “Dagobah? Why not Tatooine, like Old Ben Kenobi? I’ve heard about him. You’re named after him, aren’t you?”

“Tatooine is too much like Jakku,” he said dismissively, allowing one side of his mouth to tug upward. “All sand and sun. I prefer rain.”

“Me too, actually,” she admitted, her smile widening into a grin. “But not a swamp. Why don’t we find some place nicer?”

He moved his hand from her cheek down to twine with her fingers. “Maybe someday, when we’ve put everything else behind us. But Rey, you need to know something.” He gently squeezed her hand. “You are my family now. My friend. My world. I’m not the best with people, either. Especially the people who care about me. But we’ll figure it out together. And as to giving my mother grandchildren--” He cleared his throat and looked down at their joined hands. His was large, his fingers square, and pale from all the time spent wearing gloves. Her hands were small, but her long fingers were strong, her skin still sunkissed. “That’s not something you need to worry about until it becomes something  _ you _ want. If you ever do.”

Rey rolled onto her side, keeping her hand in his, and she studied him carefully. “I don’t know the first thing about kids, except they’re cute. Mostly. And I don’t know the first thing about mothers. Do you ever want to be a dad?”

“My record with fathers should tell you how much that thought terrifies me,” he said as evenly as he could.

Rey shook her head, her smile turning sad again. “Ben, that isn’t very funny.”

He shrugged. “Can I come up there with you?”

She nodded and scooted over, making room for his much larger frame. They were still too low on the bed for his legs to do more than hang off the end, but the moment his back was against the mattress, she snuggled into his shoulder. 

“I’m worried I won’t be good at it,” she blurted into the silence, her head turned so he couldn’t see her expression. 

“Good at what?” he asked. “Being a mother? With your fierce need to protect anyone you care about, I imagine you’ll do a good job of it.”

She shook her head, pressing her face into his chest. “Not that,” she said, her words muffled. “The other thing.”

Ben was about to ask for clarification when he instead got the hint through their bond. “Oh. That.” 

She pushed herself up a little and looked down at him. “It’s just, I’ve never--.” She stopped abruptly and started blinking. “Oh. But  _ you _ \--”

He groaned and rolled them both over, putting her beneath him and silencing her with his lips against hers. She didn’t protest, but wrapped her hands around his neck and deepened the kiss. When he came up for air, Ben brushed his lips across her cheek, along her jaw, and then down to her neck. 

“We won’t discuss what we have or haven’t done,” he finally said. “Because we both already  _ know _ .” He enjoyed the way her body shivered beneath him, her pleasure sending out electric waves from her nervous system to his. “All that matters is what we do together. And I will do everything,” he whispered, returning his lips to hover just above hers. “Everything I possibly can to make you happy. I can be patient. You decide how fast or how slow we go.”

Rey’s eyes were half-lidded, her expression soft, and her breathing shallow. “I love you, Ben.” She met his lips in a warm kiss, one arm wrapping around him and the other hand sliding through his hair. “And I’m not very good at  _ slow. _ ”

His breath caught against her mouth and Rey smiled, the expression sweet as honey and more intoxicating than Corellian wine. She took advantage of his surprise, hooking one leg around his and using the leverage to reverse their positions, putting herself on top of him. 

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” she confessed, shrugging. “But you’re always saying I need a teacher.”

“Right.” He swallowed and cupped her cheek in one hand. She leaned into the touch. “Rey, are you sure?”

She nodded. “Show me. Please, Ben.” 

Ben kissed her again and guided her down to lay next to him on the bed. Everything about this first time, he knew, would stay with them. Every touch, caress, and murmured endearment would be part of this new beginning. He didn’t teach Rey, he experienced it with her. The arrogance of a teacher and student mentality in this situation could not be more wrong. They were learning together, exploring each other, moving slowly at times and more rapidly at others. The dance between two souls, entwined and devoted to each other, was older than time. 

The first time Rey and Ben became one, all barriers gone at last, united them fully, strengthening an already unbreakable bond. 

Hours later, when they lay curled beneath Rey’s sheets, Ben trailed one finger up and down her bare shoulder, holding her against him. Rey shivered and her arm around him tightened. He couldn’t sleep, in awe as he was of how his life had changed, his whole path altering, because of the woman he held. 

“Thank you, Rey,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of her head, well aware of all she’d given him with her love.

She made a small sound of contentment, and slipped further into her dreams. 

Ben lay awake for some time longer, marveling at how small she felt in his arms, when he knew her to be so full of life and strength. 

He belonged to her, heart, body, and soul. No one, nothing, would ever come between them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me during the hiatus! I've been busy publishing a book, travelling to a writer's conference, and I'm now on vacation. :-) I haven't forgotten y'all - no worries!


	24. Snoke's Treasure Trove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their first ever assignment from the Resistance, Rey, Ben, and Cairn go to investigate Snoke's secret cache.

It went completely unspoken between them that Rey would co-pilot the ship provided by the Resistance. As much as she loved flying, her heart was more grounded in the mechanics of a vessel than anything. The duties of the first mate were plenty for her, and Ben truly was a brilliant pilot. Cairn took a backseat to both of them and said he’d rather work with computers than controls any day. 

When they came out of hyperspace, Rey’s eyes widened. While she now accepted that many habitable planets were covered in green, she didn’t think she’d seen anything like %, nor was she likely to again. Though they looked down on a planet bathed in light, the greenery looked dark as shadows and the thick foliage covered a wide band all the way around the sphere. 

The hair on the back of her neck rose.

“Dark things lurk there,” Cairn said from behind her, leaning over her shoulder to get a better view. “I have a bad feeling about this place.”

“Snoke must’ve loved it,” Ben muttered, deftly skimming his fingers across buttons and switches until the ship began a smooth descent to the coordinates he’d fed into it. Rey sensed the shift in his mood, feeling him go from confident to uncertain. The darkness below reached out to him, beckoning him into its embrace.

Rey sent comfort and peace through their link, in a burst of tender light, and his body relaxed. He turned to shoot her a crooked smile, reminding her of Han Solo’s similar expression when she by-passed the fuel capacitor on his ship. 

That memory, shared from her mind to his, made him smile larger.

“I’m glad Han liked you. He didn’t let just anyone in his cockpit, you know.”

“I know.” She flashed him a smile and turned her attention back to checking the landing gear. “Cairn, any lifeform readings?”

“Many,” he answered. “Of all shapes and sizes.”

“The goal is to get in, make sure there’s nothing of importance in plain sight, and get out. If we can find anything that will help the Resistance, we take it with us.” Ben took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “Here we go.” 

They descended below the treeline, and into the shadows of an ancient jungle.

Their ship, a smaller vessel than Rey had flown in thus far, was easily lowered to the planet’s surface. When they stepped out, Rey couldn’t decide what the atmosphere reminded her of, but a creeping sensation crawled up her spine, making her shudder. The air hung heavy with moisture, the vegetation blocked out the sun and carpeted the ground. 

“I never thought I’d miss Jakku’s sun,” Rey said quietly, her eyes adjusting to the green-black shadows. “But this place could use it.”

“Let’s get on with it and get out of here.” Cairn’s whisper had a hissing quality to it that made Rey dart a glance at him. She could see the fur along the back of his neck standing nearly straight up. His tail twitched stiffly and his eyes darted from one tree to another. 

“This way.” Ben started walking through the trees, his hand gripping his lightsaber. Rey followed and Cairn took up the rear position. 

Skittering noises in the dirt around them, and the occasional groan of a tree branch above, put Rey on edge. But being flanked by two experienced Force users gave some small measure of comfort. They skirted a few large trees, ducked under one low hanging branch, and Ben reached out with the Force to check their path. They were going towards a cave of sorts, and with Ben’s information they knew it would be found beneath the roots of one of the massive trees in the jungle. 

When they came within sight of the tree, Rey’s blood turned cold.

It was a massive, black, gnarled, dead thing that looked as though it had been turned to stone. There were no vines twining around its trunk, no leaves on its branches, yet the rest of the jungle growth had not come in to take over. The ground around it was even devoid of growth, as though the plants knew better than to approach it. 

“What is this place?” Cairn asked, his voice still hushed. The air hung heavily around his words.

“I really hate Snoke,” Ben muttered between clenched teeth. Rey could feel the shadows around them, snaking closer, testing the barrier created by her link to Ben. She shuddered and reached deeper into herself, drawing on the light, building the inner flame the way frightened hunters added logs to a fire on a dark night. 

They went closer, and when Ben was within arm’s reach of the tree he stretched out his hand and willed the tree to open to him.

A terrible crackling sound came from within, but the tree obeyed the command. The bark split, with a sound like wood splintering, and cold air rushed out at them from the opening, like the breath of the dead. Ben ignited his lightsaber, holding it above him, illuminating gray stone steps leading downward. 

“Great.” Cairn reached into his pack and withdrew a flashlight, its beam more concentrated and far-reaching than the light from the saber. “Let’s go see what the Supreme Leader hid in his bunkhouse.”

Rey nodded and stepped forward, squeezing Ben’s arm as she passed. She took the lead, insisting she would be more likely to sense any traps laid with the Dark side of the Force than they would. Her reasoning was less than sound, but Ben allowed her to go first. He stayed close behind, his lightsaber activated. 

They descended downward for several minutes, the air growing colder with each step, until they reached another door. Rey reached out and laid her palm against it, wondering in what way it could be activated. “Another Force door?”

Cairn came forward and touched the material, frowning darkly. “It’s not metal. It’s stone. Like the walls around it.” He closed his eyes and she sensed him attempting to lift the stone. “It’s massive.”

Ben added his efforts to Cairn’s and Rey tried to sense what was on the other side. “There’s something--It’s alive.”

Ben and Cairn didn’t acknowledge her words, as their efforts had finally made the door yield. It slid to one side, the grinding sound of stone against stone echoing up the stairway they had descended from. 

Rey took a step backward and grabbed onto Ben’s arm with one hand. “Ben, it’s--” 

A snarling shriek erupted from within the darkness before them, a flash of scales moved outside of the beam of light held by Cairn. 

Ben shoved her behind him, his whole body going stiff, and he raised his saber defensively. “Krayt dragon,” he shouted.

A low hiss followed the echoes of the shriek, causing Rey’s eardrums to vibrate violently with the sound. Then everything fell silent and only darkness remained. Cairn directed his light inside the space, but all they could see was blank stone. The dragon was nowhere to be seen. 

“That’s inconvenient,” Cairn muttered. “We have to go in there, in the dark, with a krayt dragon?”

“We could just go back,” Ben said, looking over his shoulder at Rey, both his eyebrows raised. “What do you think, Rey? Give up?”

Although fighting a krayt dragon was not high on the list of things she meant to do in her life, Rey did not like the idea of admitting defeat so soon. “They like the Dark, don’t they?”

“Usually. In old myths, Sith lords trained them to keep as pets.” He shook his head and turned to face the blackness in the room beyond. “Maybe Snoke did the same.”

Rey closed her eyes and concentrated, reaching out again, trying to find the form of the dragon. It wasn’t as close as she’d first thought, and it held perfectly still.  _ Listening. _

“I think it’s as blind as we are in there,” she said. 

“I really don’t like this,” Cairn muttered, pulling his saber out and igniting it. “Who guards their storage unit with a dragon?”

“Snoke,” Ben and Rey said together. 

“There’s another door on the other side of this room. If we can get to it, and get it open, we might not have to fight. Much.” Ben shifted his weight from one foot to another. “Rey?”

“I sense it. It’s opposite our position. But that’s a lot of ground to cover, the place is as big as a ship hanger. And there’s a hole at the top?”

“Probably for the beast to wander in and out for food.” Ben shook his head. “A pet door.”

“At least Snoke wasn’t a negligent dragon owner,” Cairn added.

Rey rolled her eyes and drew her blaster. She knew her staff would be of little use against the sharp-fanged dragon. If it got close enough to her for the staff to touch it, it was too close. “How do we want to do this?”

“You and Ben get to the door,” Cairn said before Ben could speak. “The two of you together are stronger than any other combination we have. Open it quickly. I’ll try to draw the creature away, but I’ll make a run for it as soon as the way is clear.”

“Sounds like a simple plan. Those are the best kind.” Ben deactivated his saber. 

The beast started to prowl the far end of the darkness, which all of them sensed. 

“How smart are those things?” Cairn asked, his eyes narrowing.

“I’ve never met one before.” Rey checked her blaster and looked into the darkness one more time. “But they’re Force-sensitive. So, smart enough?”

“See you on the other side.” Cairn entered the darkened cavern, moving slowly along the wall, is saber on and his senses stretched outward. He whistled as he went, though it was unlike a human whistle. It was a higher register, almost flute-like. 

_ That will get its attention.  _ Ben stepped into the room and moved the opposite way, saber in hand but not activated. 

Rey followed, her attention on the unseen creature.  _ It’s confused by our presence. I don’t think it’s hungry, but if it feels threatened, we might be in trouble. _

_ We’re invaders, _ he reminded her.  _ It won’t be confused for long. _

Rey picked up the pace, sliding around Ben and hurrying down the wall. His determination to be a shield for her, while endearing, meant he moved with far less speed and much more caution than she thought they could afford. Cairn needed both of them to move quickly. 

_ The beast hasn’t moved yet. _ Ben kept close behind her. 

She looked over her shoulder to the bouncing light of Cairn’s saber. He wasn’t being subtle. The Trianii was twirling it, obviously trying to get the overly large reptile’s attention.

_ What’s it waiting for? _ Ray reached out, trying to get a better sense for the dragon’s thoughts. Darkness wrapped around the beast’s mind, but she didn’t sense evil. Just a basic, primal need to protect itself, and its territory. 

_ Probably trying to decide what we are and who the biggest threat is. _ Ben’s irritation leaked through their bond.  _ Halfway to the door. _

The Krayt dragon chose that moment to unleash a shrieking yowl that made Rey stumble sideways into the wall, only to be pulled up and forward again by Ben’s strong hand on her arm. The ground trembled as the beast charged directly towards Cairn’s waiving lightsaber. It moved a lot faster than Rey liked. 

_ Cairn’s faster than you can imagine. _ Ben didn’t let her dwell on her fears long.  _ The best way to help him is to get that door open. _

Rey pushed as much power as she could into her lungs and legs. She focused on the door ahead.

Ben kept pace with her easily, barely tapping into his reserves. 

Rey heard the snarls and snaps of the dragon, the shrill whistles of Cairn. The ground shook with movement, but she resisted looking over her shoulder again. Ben was right. She had to focus on doing her part and trust that Cairn knew how to handle himself. 

They arrived at the door and raised their hands simultaneously, focusing on the large stone slab blocking their progress into Snoke’s vault. Before they’d made any progress, one of Ben’s hands darted out and took hers. Linked physically, their ability increased. Rey could almost see it: a dark serpent snaking away from Ben’s hand, white vines from her fingertips twining around its body, and both Light and Dark slamming into the wall before them.

The door began to slide sideways, but a scream from across the room drew Rey’s attention away. Ben growled in frustration.  _ Open the door, then save Cairn. _

Rey snapped her attention back to the stone, feeding her frustration into her command that the wall  _ move. _ It slid further and light broke through the crack. As soon as it was wide enough for the males to slide through, Rey jerked her mind away and turned towards the darkness.

The krayt dragon was snarling and hissing, Cairn’s saber was moving with more precisions, and she caught the occasional flash of the beast’s large limbs in what little light the saber gave off. 

“Cairn!” She shouted his name and pulled out her blaster, pointing at where she sensed the dragon’s large body to be. “Shooting!” She fired two shots, both singing through the air and flashing as they hit the tough hide of the giant reptile. The creature screamed, but in more surprise than agony. 

Cairn’s saber went out and she could sense him moving at top speed through the dark towards them. 

Ben grabbed her arm and pulled her through, though she tried to stay in the cavern, not wanting to move until Cairn was safe. But Ben was stronger and she didn’t fight him. His need to keep her safe, to protect her, overwhelmed her logical thought. 

_ He’s coming. He’s okay. _

She shook her head and kept her eyes trained on the slit in the doorway.  _ He’s hurt. _

The dragon yowled from what sounded like mere feet away from the door. Rey closed her eyes, willing Cairn to move faster, and then--

“Shut the damn door!” 

Rey’s eyes snapped open and she reached out with Ben, sliding the door shut, just as Cairn came through. A pair of blackened claws scrabbled through, trying to get hold of them. It pushed the door, nearly forcing it back open. The portal wasn’t large enough to allow the dragon to slip through, but if its whole arm got in, the beast could easily take a swipe at them. 

Cairn added his efforts to Rey and Ben’s and the door slammed closed, the Force obeying all three of them, even in their near-panic. 

The Trianii collapsed backward, laying down on the cold gray floor, squeezing his eyes shut. “I don’t want to do that again.”

“I doubt there’s another way out.” Ben leaned back against the doorway, breathing heavily.

Rey shook her head. “That’s so comforting, Ben.” She looked up, around the room they’d entered, and froze. “Whoa.”

Cairn’s eyes popped open and her rolled onto his stomach, turning to face into the room. “Well. This is interesting.”

Ben pushed away from the wall and walked past them both, his head turning from one side to the other. “This place is massive.”

The room they were in was bigger than the empty space they’d just come through, and filled with shelving from ceiling to floor. Crates of many hues, sizes, and makes were stacked row upon row, and flickering white lights above them allowed them to see just how far back the room went. 

“What is this place?” Rey whispered, stepping forward. “How did he get so much stuff in here?”

“I had no idea he was a hoarder,” Cairn muttered.

“He was ancient. It makes sense that he could compile a collection of...things...this big over his lifetime.” Ben kept walking towards the first shelf and put his hand out to tap into the screen on a crate. “This isn’t coded in Basic.”

“Should we have brought a droid?” Cairn asked.

“No need.” Rey came forward and looked at the screen. “If it’s a recent language, I can probably…” She let her words trail off as she started typing in a series of commands, focusing on the code intently. A moment later, the top of the crate popped open with a hiss of hydraulics. 

Ben shoved it completely off and looked inside. “Robes.”

“He always liked dressing flashy.”

Rey and Ben both turned to look at Cairn. He shrugged. “Think we can use one of those as a bandage?”

Rey sucked in a quick breath. “I’m sorry, Cairn. I almost forgot--” She walked towards him and started inspecting him for injuries. His dark fur, matted with sweat, made it hard to see any wounds. Until he lifted his right arm up and gestured with his left hand to his midsection.

“Just a scratch, Warden. Promise.”

She inspected the area carefully, her fingers touching the skin around the wound. “But infection--”

“Rey’s right. We need to take care of this.” Ben pulled his pack off and began removing bacta gel and bandages. “And we’re not putting anything that belonged to Snoke on your body.”

Cairn’s crooked smile showed off his fangs. “I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Sit.” He obeyed Rey’s command and sat still. Ben handed Rey the medical equipment and stood over them both while she worked. 

_ He’s not going to be in any shape to do that again, to get us out of here. _

_ We’ll have to use another tactic, then. _ Ben tried not to sound concerned, but Rey knew as well as he that this would pose some difficulties for them. 

“How are we ever going to sort through all of this?” Cairn shook his head, his eyes focused over Rey’s shoulder to the stacks of crates beyond them. “It could all just be his summer wardrobe.”

“There must be a catalog system somewhere.” Ben stepped away from them, walking towards a screen at the end of one of the shelves. “Snoke was always meticulous about everything. His appearance, training, the ships. I doubt he’d just throw things in here without some kind of order.”

“But if this was his place, he wouldn’t need one. It’s not like he expected anyone else to come down here.”

Rey remained silent while the two discussed their former master, comparing notes about his personality more than anything. It was strange to hear about the former Supreme Leader, a name that had haunted her for weeks, talked about like he was nothing more than a hoarding miser. 

She kept walking while they both tapped away at the screen, going down the rows of shelving, and reaching out with the Force. She tried to sense a purpose, or an order, in the things around her. 

Darkness pooled at her feet.

_ “REY!” _

Had been shouted out loud, or only through their bond?

That question was her last coherent thought before she dropped to the ground.

***

Ben sensed before he saw the thing Rey had called to them. It was the leftover bits and pieces of a Sith Lord. A holocron must be among the crates, preserving the essence of a former Sith’s personality. Whoever she’d been, she was full of hatred and malice. 

Cairn’s hand came out and tried to keep him from approaching Rey, but Ben jerked free and went to her, lifting her up into his arms and moving quickly back to the doorway, putting distance between her body and whatever relic she’d managed to awaken. A dead Sith wouldn’t have much power over a living soul, but it had attacked with a burst of power which clearly overwhelmed Rey’s light. 

He held her in his lap and closed his eyes, reaching into their shared space.

_ Rey’s form lay curled in a ball, but when he reached for her, Rey’s head snapped up and she looked into his eyes. She looked confused, uncertain, and his heart froze. _

_ “Rey?” he whispered, hesitating.  _

_ “Ben.” She reached for him, clarity returning, and he relaxed.  _

He held his hand out, and in the blink of an eye they were back, conscious, sitting on the floor. 

“I hate when you two do that,” Cairn muttered, sliding down to sit on the floor next to them. “I feel so left out.”

“Sorry.” Rey shifted and looked at the shelves. “What was that?”

“Sith ghost,” Ben answered, his eyes roaming her form carefully. “It sensed the Light in you and attacked. I don’t think you should do that again. Reach out, with the Force. Not in here.”

She nodded, but he saw the reluctance in her eyes. “Then you should try. You might find something. If Snoke protected this place against the Light with ghosts, you might do a better job of finding things.”

Ben sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. “Do I have to?”

Rey’s head turned quickly, her eyes meeting his, surprise written all over her face. “What?”

He smiled. “Sorry. Yes, ma’am. I’ll do it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously not appreciating his sense of humor. Ben knew it wasn’t entirely appropriate, but he couldn’t help it. Not after fearing he’d somehow lost her, in the blink of an eye, without any ability to protect her. Rey had become the center of his universe. 

“She’s too small to be ma’am.” Cairn sighed. “And too young.”

“Don’t let my mother hear you say that.” Ben could only imagine Leia’s response to anyone thinking her too small to be treated with respect. And he knew well enough she’d been commanding soldiers since her juvenile years. He could understand why Leia Organa would like Rey. They were both much stronger than people expected. 

He sighed and adjusted his hold on Rey, bringing them both back up to standing. “Stay close?” He didn’t make it a command. He knew better than that.

“Sure.” Rey gave his arm a gentle squeeze, then followed as he walked back down the line of shelves. Her presence next to him soothed him, anchored him.

Ben reached out into the warehouse. He searched down every row, through ever box, looking for anything that gave off a strong Force signature. He found the holocron, sitting harmlessly now, in a box nearby. He kept looking. 

Cairn had gone back to the datascreen and was trying to find anything of use. 

He found a crate about the same time Cairn said a strange word out loud.

Ben’s eyes popped open. “What did you say?”

“Scariff copies. That’s what the database says. Wasn’t Scariff one of the original Death Star targets?”

“Where?” Ben asked, coming to look at the screen. “Interesting. I found something too, but it’s further back.”

“Dare we split up?” Cairn flashed a grin. “Whole place could be booby trapped.”

“Ugh.” Rey shifted her weight from one foot to another, looking up at the lights with distaste. “Whatever we do, let’s do it fast. I want out of here.”

Ben silently agreed with her. “We’ll split up. Rey comes with me. Cairn, be careful.”

“Always. Keep an eye on the Warden.”

“I’m perfectly capable---”

“I know, Rey,” Ben said quickly, taking her hand. “But you’re important to us.”

The stiffness left her shoulders and she looked from Ben to Cairn and back again. Her desire to belong, to be wanted and needed both, still weighed heavily on her heart, despite their connection. Ben suspected it always would, given how many years of her life she’d spent as an abandoned child. They dealt with that pain and that past differently. He had Rey, and she was enough. But she wanted  _ family _ , and that meant drawing her circle bigger, to encompass as many beings as she could in her heart. 

_ You’ll always be the most important to me _ , she told him, her eyes softening. 

“Get going, little Warden. You just said you wanted to get out of here.” Cairn touched her shoulder, giving her an encouraging wink, then he started walking down the long main aisle, his ears standing straight up and alert. 

She slid her hand into his again and they started walking, Ben guiding them back, further and further, into the stacks of crates. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on vacation, then I was sick with the flu, then all my family was sick with the flu, and I'm finally coming out on the other side. Thanks for sticking with me, and for all the lovely kudos! Y'all are awesome! 
> 
> There's more conflict ahead soon! Yay!


End file.
